For nearly 6 years I had been treated for bi-polar disorder, and had tried every known method available to my doctor, a psychiatrist in the Metro-Deroit aria.  After a barrage of medications, monthly trips to the Rehab 3 psychiatric ward in Wyandotte Hospital and two series of ECT-(Electro-Convulsive Therapy), suicide began to look like the best option for myself, and for those I had put through hell with my illness.  In six years, I went from;  "I don't want to lose everthing"...to... "I ain't got nothing to lose".

        On the day I had planned to sleep with the fishies, I was in my doctor's office.  I told him all my feelings except for the suicidal thoughts.  That kind of disclosure always led to the hospital, and after the ECT gig, I wasn't going there.  I told him I was tired all the time.  I couldn't focus mentaly on things, and forgetting things like orders at work.  He gave me a perscription for Adderall and said try this and let me know how you do.

        WOW!  I could not believe what was happening.  It was as though I had thrown a switch on it was so quick.  I was listening...even to my wife!  And whats more it was all registering.  I actually began to be motivated, finnishing projects I had abandoned and implimenting new ones with ease.

        One day several months ago, I began to question whether I needed to continue taking prozac for my supposed bi-polar condition.  While studying on the matter, I began to research on the internet where I found this forum, and learned for the first time the symptoms of ADHD and it was as if I were reading my own chart.  I took my findings to my doctor who just smiled and recomended I continue taking the prozac.  I left his office like a defiant school boy and within 4 weeks had weaned myself off prozac.

        Its been over 3 months now, and the only effects from stoping prozac have been improoved vision, much, MUCH improoved sexual functioning.

        So if you are being treated for ADHD and depression, it may be that ADHD was the reason for the other malady.  I do not recomend that anyone use my method of self-diagnoses.  I took a chance.  Looking back now, I think I would have done better to consult another doctor, because a person who treats his own afflictions has a moron for a doctor.

I know for me being ADHD, or hyperactive as my doctor said when I was age 7, it has been a challenge.I was placed on ritalin when I was 7. It was a challenge remembering to take my meds, or even wanting to for that matter. From other's that I have talked to like myself, we want to believe that it is something we will out grow. For me personally I refused to accept that I would be taking meds for the rest of my life basically. I tried a number of times to stop the ritalin and later the adderall. I found that to be able to just function in a work environment was near impossible for me. So here I am just going back on Adderall after 6 months off of it. And still my main concern is that after all the time that has passed, all the so called progess that has been made, the experts still don't truly know what the long term affects of this medication are or will be.

Wicaya - actually when ritalin and dexedrine are concerned - they are pretty sure of the long term effects.  They've both been used for around a century for things like weight loss and narcolepsy as well as other's I can't recall right now.

Now what will be the effect long term on YOU?? Well, that depends on your heart, your kidney, liver etc.  If you go into it weaker, you'll likely not come out as well.  Make sure your MD is up to speed on it for sure.

Remember friend that taking meds all your life is not shameful or a sign of weakness!! Diabetics, heart patients, chronic pain sufferers all take meds - many for life and nobody blinks an eye!  We have a condition- whatever causes it.  The meds if they work for you are needed.  So be happy if they do!

I hope you find the sureness and self peace that I have found.  It's like coming out of a life-long sleep for once.  I didn't have the advantage of knowing about ADD early.  That probably at least improved your life until it crept up again on you.  For me - this year has been like no other.

I sincerely hope you find what works for YOU.  Keep asking questions - someone will listen :)

Glen

Great story.It makes sense. I can relate. My 8 year old son takes after me right down to being lefthanded and now his new pair of glasses. I have every reason to believe that I have ADHD and was never treated as a child. I was the 'different kid'. Due to lack of treatment as a child I lead to belive as an adult I had anxiety,depression, seasonal depression. I've been through therapy and medications in the past and it has helped but its not the root of the problem. I realise that because my 8 year old has been diagnosed with ADHD it was passed from mom to son. I will make sure he has more help and support than I did.Now its time to help myself as well.

I'm glad that the quality of your life seems to have greatly improved. It sounds like you are making good decisions. 

live e.d. - I don't want it to sound like it is *snap* and all's better!  I did and still do have to take councilling to beat the old nasty habits that stayed behind.  Regardless I AM a new man and want everyone to have even a little of the happiness every day brings me now.  All religion free too!!!

Take care - you are gaining knowledge and you know - it IS power!!!

Glen

Joyous:

I also gave up an executive level position, last October.  I even took it a step further and now only work part time.  Needless to say the salary cut was extensive and some thought I was crazy-but they were WRONG!  While I still have to pay some attention to detail the job I'm doing FITS MY ABILITIES. For the most part when I go home, I leave the work AT WORK, it's wonderful!

I hope that you are still hanging in there.  Where you are at may be the pivitol point for a great future.  And to me great involves the simple things.  Peace when you are at home.  Thoughts that don't run out of control.  Finishing small tasks and taking joy from them, feeling the chaos slip away and a gentle life assert itself instead.

Best of luck, and we're all here for you!

Ms Glitz

Thanks Ms Glitz,

I am feeling much better today. Bought a book on Adult ADD and read it....I guess there is a grief process upon learning the diagnosis, and I find myself passing through it rather quickly....partly because I had a similar experience when diagnosed with depression, and partly because of what I've learned in my 12-step program.

Stay in today. Trust in a Higher Power. Let go.....

While I feel that I've wasted the last 20 years professionally (along with the MBA), I kind of feel let-off-the-hook, no longer feeling compelled to fit, as a round peg, into a square hole.

How exactly did you go about finding this job that fits so well? That is my next step. I've read that many of 'us' tend to research things kind of excessively. So this is my next project.

It's good to have this forum, and I thank you all.

Joyce

Hi all.  Just wanted to thank you for sharing your stuff here.  I sort of left a big part of what got me to where I am today, thank you for reminding me Joyce.  Through all the meds and methods, I believe that my membership in Alcoholics Anonymous has been my only constant saving grace, for it has been that admission of powerlessness and unmanageability, accepting help and direction, and the deep soul-searching of the 4th step that dredged up the things that solidified and coumpounded my troubles, my defective character.  I found out how deadly the things that my way of thinking really are like resentment, self pity, fear...things that no amount of medication can prevent, and those feelings not only torment me mentally, but physically as well. 

I am 4 years sober on 4-15-01 and I go to a meeting every day still.  I also have a recovery site on msn if anyone is interested.

http://groups.msn.com/kissKEEPITSIMPLESTUPID

ALSO- for fun-

 http://groups.msn.com/piratehookcomicsrecoverycomics

ps- I still smoke a little pot, but hey, I ain't no saint

Hey Kid Rock!

I've got 9 months sober by the grace of my Higher Power and the fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous.

My research so far indicates that people with ADD/ADHD have a higher incidence of substance abuse than the 'normal' population. I now know that I was medicating a whole lot more than the depression. I even wonder now if my depression was more a by-product of ADD than simply depression. All I know is that, at the end of the day, vodka helped me forget how inadequate I felt at work, and how scattered and unfocused I was at home.

Either way, what I've learned in AA is helping me deal with both the depression and the ADD, as well as the alcoholism. Self-pity, fear, and (self)blame are my shortcomings. While they have not been totally lifted from me, I no longer feel like I carry them alone.

I like your website....!

My DD didn't get diagnosed until she was 6.  I was pretty shure by the time she was 3.  Okay I could probably tell by the time she was 31/2 months.  She had started rolling to move from place to place.  Most children don't roll both ways that young.  She didn't want to miss anything. 

She is on Stratera and adderal.  This seems to work well at this time.  I guess from some of the other posts it could change.  She also is seeing a Psychiatrist and a counselor.  I think that is helping also.  I think she gets it from her father.  He fits most of the criteria for an undignosed ADD.   I worry because my mother has Schizophrenia.  I hope nothing else is going on.  She seems okay on her meds.  I just hope nothing else pops up.

[QUOTE=Ferramentum]Thank you all for the kind words..It is nice to know that I'm not the only one who can't stand being around other people. I actually started to think that I was just being snobby.But I really appreciate your feedback. It's nice to know that you have actually taken the time to read my info....[/QUOTE]

I started laughing when I read your post!!! I am the same way....I am surprised I still have friends...When they call....I let the answer machine pick it up...I couldn't even get a sympathy card out when my good friend's mother-in-law died....should have gone to the funeral......I meant to....but didn't want to...Actually, I think I am a snob along with my medical problems..  hopefully, things will be looking up soon for me....... CAS

Cas and Ferramentum,

My dd is real outgoing sometimes but when she gets to school she can be real standoffish.  Is this normal?  She doesn't have any problems  when she first meets people.   She seems to not be able to stay around people on a long term basis.  Are you always wanting to stay away from people? 

ALLYCAT----i KNOW THIS IS LATE--But I am new to all of this as well---I must ask---do you take meds???

I am the opposit from you conplewtely---I was releaved when I found out-----I was to the point of hoplessness---so many failures---such a waste of life----Now that I know---I have hope!!! The meds are really picking me up ----I feel I have a new life to live---and it is never too late to succeed-----I am a housewife---would not have been had I not all those quitting everything problems-(-not to say there is anything wrong with being a house wife--except when it is because you can not focus your attention on one thing long enough to be anything else---)

Anyhow still going to stay home because I have a little one---but I am taking an interest in art again----I have been sculpting one of a kind art dolls and such and selling them---not huge profit but it is something I seem to be good at---also I am doing what it takes to get better and to compete in doll shows----And I am working out--(love it)

I posted an "Intro" thread with a very brief introduction, but I thought I would try to put the whole thing together to see what the "experts" have to say.

Ok.  Not sure where to start...well, I will say that what I remember of school was boredom.  I also remember being in the gifted program, but it was also mostly boring.   High school was even worse, and I had extreme difficulty with sleeping, mostly because my mind would race....and race...and just never stop.  Though I do recall moments (they still happen) where I sorta "check out" as it were...where the noise of the rushing of the thoughts ceases...hmmm...not sure what that is all about....anyway...

I joined the Navy just after high school...mostly to get out of my hometown, but al in part becasue my dad was a military man, and because I didn't know what else to do with myself.  The idea of more school at the time made me want to hurl.  I did my four years, and got honorably discharged.  I was always in just enough trouble to not do very well in the Navy...I thought too much. 

After the Navy I worked a little here, and a little there.  Mostly construction jobs, with the occasional cashier at a conveniece store thrown in for good measure.  At some point, around 1990, I decided I was working too hard and should go to school.  I was also careening from one relationship to another, and in part my search for more education was initially prompted by my desire to retain the affections of a certain young woman.  (More education = more money = woman stays)  Didn't work...she broke up with me shortly after...  Which led to a lot of long lonely nights in a nice little hole in the wall bar...which wsn't really good for me...but hey, I was deeply wounded.

I then decided to jump head long into the college thing, and to go full time.  I somehow had gotten hooked into the vocational rehabilitation thing, and they required a psych eval.  I was diagnosed as being clinically depressed, and put on a combo of Lithium and Wellbutrin.  And off to college I went...in KY...about 1000 miles from home...at a small private liberal arts college. (Sorry, I keep getting off topic--and distracted by other browser windows--but you didn't know that...)

That lasted for two years.  Both the college and the medication.  I then wasted the next year or so of my life in utter abandon...living hand to mouth...partying every night...lots and lots a debauchery going on...it was certainly fun...for a while anyway...

With an invitation from my parents to move back home, and somehow a girlfriend, I went back to college in my hometown.  And for the next year, year and a half, I was the most focused person on the face of the planet.  I did everything right, exactly when I was supposed to do it.  I earned my AA and went on to get my BA.  In the year I was at the upper level institution finishing my degree, the focus started to slip...and I started to get bored...again...with pretty much everything.

Anyway, after graduation, the GF and I (yes, the same one--and for some reason she is still with me today) moved so that she could finish her MFA.  When she finished her MFA, I went to get mine (looking for something exciting to do...).  So we moved halfway across the country to KC, MO.  I got my MFA, and we then moved back to KY (not the homestate for either of us, but we knew people).  Another 4 years pass, I change jobs once in that period, and I am really getting the itch to get out of there...4 years in one place is WAY too long.

I applied for, got offered, and accepted a job in my home state, FL.  Which is where we are now.  I am a visiting professor of theatre technology.  I am preparing to start my second year as such.  I doubt right now I will make a third.  I am kinda really getting bored with the whole theatre thing...it has lost some of its luster.  So, I am looking for the next big thing in my life.  Don't know what it will be...I certainly can't decide...I never really decide anything...it just sorta happens...

I do hope that I do get something out of the current treatment and counseling.  At least it is covered by the insurance.  There is somethng that I keep intending to write, but I only think of it when i am in the middle of typing something else, and when I finish typing, the thought is long gone and will not come back....until it has looped its way back around through the maze of my mind once again.  Anyway, life has been ok, I guess, but I feel it could have been better, and though I am a college professor (which is very strange to me) I feel as though I am a fraud, and that I somehow do not deserve to be where I am...that I somehow faked my way here.  I honestly do not remember the last time I gave my full undivided attention to anything.  I usually pay just enough attention to catch the jist, and then fill in the rest myself.

I hate waiting for the other people to finish, or for me to finish reading...or whatever...I just hate waiting for things to happen...it doesn't happen quickly enough...why can't the world be like what's in my head?   Anyway, not that it matters, but I thought  would mention the following things: I am left-handed, adopted, work in a creative field, I recently quit smoking (and my "symptoms" got much worse), and I think I could be doing so much better...

Well, that should be more than enough...right?  I have no idea how long it is.  I started typing this at 7:15, and it is now 8:30...but I did get distracted in the middle a few times...Peace out.

Wordwoman -

I think maybe we've given the impression that this was a "no regrets" move.  Of course there were!  Adjustments had to be made - but there was the need to try and weigh the total package and see what needed to be done.

To quote dirty harry "A man's (or woman's - I add) got to know his limitations".

When I left the whole big rat race - I missed the action - the money too!  But when it came down to true happiness I found that it wasn't it.  So - I made up my mind to do the opposite of what my instincts were telling me.  After all - they'd done nothing but be wrong for over 30 years!

It's always hard to change - just a matter of is it harder to stay?

A belated Welcome! to Deep Diver.  Keep reading - build your knowledge and your self-esteem!!

It's not an easy voyage but there IS a way to make you and ADD work together!  Now that I own it and it doesn't own me I feel happier, more content and capable of living in the real world.

The only thing I'm missing is love in my life.  I took myself out of that for a few reasons - one was I was having trouble reconciling the way my exgf and I split (actually it was me splitting and first time at that), and the loss of my unborn son.  It's almost OCD as I spent the last 3 years trying to put it in perspective.  My parents didn't understand - to them it was all water under the bridge and they never cared for my choices in women - those smart old folks!

Second reason was that I wasn't totally sure this wasn't some sort of pie-in-the-sky placebo effect I was under.  I've convinced myself of things before - being a tad hypochondriac - tad as in gawd awfully.  Now I know it's a permanent, uplifting experience and am sure that with training I can be housebroken again.

Well off tangent but yes welcome Deep Diver! LOL.  See - even us recovering ADDers go off on their silly way!

I think that maybe we do not have to change our dream of what we want to be---we just have to look for a differant avenue of getting there---I have spent all of my adult years running from my dreams when things got a bit tough of too repetative---I am hoping to restart ---and not be defeated and just sit back saying I have this ---so I caqn only be this or do this-----We can do or be anything---As someone with ADHD--We have those the most brilliant-creative -artistic minds of almost anyone---why would we set back and not share our minds with the world--we  were not given these awesome ideas--and creative thoughts to just accept defeat--and feel limited!!!! I HAVE FELT LOST AND DEFEATED ALL OF MY ADULT LIFE----Now that I know why I have been so unable to finish anything that I have started---I realize  that with help and faith I can do anything!!!! I will begin to purse dreams again--

If you must take a step back inorder to get a new perspective--do it--that is great---but do not stay there---the world is waiting for your contribution----And you will always regret not giving yourself the chance to be everything you were made to be---trust yourself -trust your doctor( trust your self to find a good one) and most of all trust God!!!!    Oh---- are all poeple with ADHD BAD SPELLERS????? i KNOW i AM---lol

I have an 8 yr old stepson. His mom has taken him to 1 doctor who said he was ADHD. He has been on pills since he was 6. He has been on Ritilin, Concerta, Strattera, Adderall, Adderax, Focalin, Depakote, Risperdal, and Clonindine. Right now he is taking Metadate ER and Risperdal. Yes he might be a little bit hyper. But he also sits around in a daze and I have to touch him on his arm to get him to look at me. He looks so doped up. He takes Metadate in the morning and Risperdal in the morning and evening. Last year he was 9 pills a day. At 6, 9 pills a day. Is that healthy for a young boy? He is also small for his age. He sees a behavior therapist a couple of times a week. In my opinion, his mother is his problem. Why do I say this? I can say this because he has come here with bruises on his body and he tells us his mommy or one of her "boyfriends" done it with a belt, shoe or a switch. She even filed false charges on my husband. Later when it was proven she done it, she dropped all charges on him. My stepson is so scared of us now because she tells him we will be mean to him. We are not mean to him, we love him. I spoil him.

She tells us that he is bipolar, and schizoprenia (spelling) and that he has been diagnosed as a habitual liar. He gets the lying from her. All of this has been going on within the last 5 yrs. She also uses him as a means of getting her own way with his father. It dont work anymore. Yes he a little bit hyper, but isnt that being a kid? He wants to sit inside all day and watch cartoons and I tell him no. I said we need to go outside and play with the dogs. The dogs love him because he gets a pop bottle and throws it to one of my dogs who will "wrestle" him for it. The other dog just barks because she thinks the other dog is being mean to him. He is afraid of his mom seeing that he likes us. If he shows me ANY kind of affection, she beats him when she gets him home. She makes him take the clonindine so he will go to sleep and she can party.

I just feel sorry for the child because he has to deal with all of this.

Stepmomofone

Dear Stepmom,

Is there any reason the boy's father (your husband) is not addressing these concerns? As the stepmom, there are limits to your ability to address this, but your husband has a legal and moral obligation to step in. Particularly if there are signs of abuse, his father should be the first one to follow up on this.

Also, as his father (unless there is a court order or something) he should be able to consult with the psychiatrist about his son's diagnosis and treatment. If you feel he is being overmedicated (and no one here can tell you whether he is or isn't), then another doctor should be consulted.

I would recommend you talk to your husband first and encourage him to get involved. If he is already involved, and is satisfied that everything is okay....and you STILL suspect abuse, then you have an obligation to go to authorities about it. You might want to start with his school...his teacher or guidance counselor. They are trained to recognize signs of abuse, and are obligated to report it.

Good luck...

Thank you for your concerns. Yes my husband is involved as much as he can be. The court order states that since she is the primary custodial parent, she has the say so whether or not the father is involved in the boys medical care. She tells us about no appointments, and when we ask her, she "doesnt remember the day or time". She does tell us when his medicine changes and the dosage. We are taking her back to court, this time, we are suing for custody. We have involved the CPS (child protective services) and they tell us there is no abuse. I know better. I see the bruises on him when he comes here. We havent seen him since the middle of June. She is keeping him from us again because all her child support stopped. The boy receives a SSI check and the law states she cant get both and the amount of the check is more than the child support, so she went with that instead. She also had it "fixed up" to where we cant even find nothing out at his school. His principal even called CPS about the abuse. Nothing was done. She comes out of this smelling like a rose every single time.

Hopefully come Oct. we will get custody and he will know what a normal childhood is like. I have 2 sons of my own and my husband is a wonderful stepdad. He treats my sons like they were his own. If his ex would give him the chance to be a father to his own son, then maybe he will be ok. But she keeps pulling him away from us everytime we get close to him and make any leeway in him not being scared of us. (she tells him that we will be mean to him, or we will take him away from her and he will never see her again.) She even had him put in a mental hospital and she told him that he was going there for "being mean and not minding her". Now she threatens him with that so he will mind her. My husband went to the hospital to see him and when he seen his dad, he ran to him and begged his daddy to get him out of there and that he would no longer be mean. My heart broke.

She had a boyfriend who was taking his pills and snorting them. By the time we proved this, the boyfriend died from an overdose. She asked if he could stay here and I went and got him. A few weeks later, she overdosed him. She gave him the wrong pills to take and if I didnt notice, he could have died. When I brought this up her, she couldnt care. Her comment was, "OH, it wouldnt have hurt him, he would have just slept all day." Clonindine is a sleeping pill. He was taking them at 8 am, 4 pm and 8 pm. He was taking the Clonindine at 4 and 8 pm. I put the extra pills in the case and sent them home to her. She tells the CPS that I "overreact". Darn straight I do. This child is not old enough to look out after himself. But he has to when he is with her.

Thanks for your suggestions. His father is very involved in his sons life. As much as he can be legally. Good thing is, I have a few friends who work at his school and at the doctors office who keeps me informed. But I cant tell how I know all this due to them losing their jobs. So I have to keep it all hush hush. But atleast we know what is going on with him.

I posted this in the wrong board:

I have four children but my two oldest have add/adhd.  My oldest has the add, my second has the adhd.  It was pretty obvious to me had issues when he was around 18m old.  He would NOT listen and went 100 mph from 6 am to midnight when he'd finally fall asleep from pure exhaustion.

Once he started kindergarten everything came to light, he started on Concerta the first part of first grade.  I was opposed to medicating him and tried everything from a diet change to a natural approach.  Luckily, he had a wonderful kindergarten teacher who was very patient but in first grade it broke my heart when he cried and told me "what is wrong with me, why can't I control myself?"  That's when I knew his self-esteem was suffering so we tried the drug route.  It was WONDERFUL!  He no longer had to get the notes home every day about his behavior and he was excelling in school.  Unfortunately, he developed an eye tic from the stimulant so we went to Adderall, same thing happened and from this point on it's been a battle as Strattera doesn't help him at all and seems to cause depression in him as well.

I started homeschooling him and he's been on no meds for over a year but an eye tic started again out of the blue.  We're watching and waiting to see if this is just a tic disorder of if this is going to turn into Tourette's.  So far the eye tic is gone after a month of it and we're hoping it stays away.

I'm now looking at getting him back on the stimulants but also using another rx to stop the tics.  He's a much more happy and successful child with the stimulants but he's self conscious of the tics and understandably so.

That's my story :)

I just join this forum, my son has ADHD. It has been hard for me as he is not really mind. I tryed to tell my husband a while back that something was wrong, but he was not hearing that. His mother is the one who made him take the child to the doctor. I kind of knew that he had it anyway as one of his brother I do believe has it, and I know for sure that his uncle does. It is very hard to deal with the mother (my husband) at times. She wants to do things her way and I say no. My son has just started on the medication now, and we are still trying to get it right.

I think that maybe we do not have to change our dream of what we want to be---we just have to look for a differant avenue of getting there[/QUOTE]

I don't think myself or anybody is endorsing either keeping on track or leaving your dream behind ArtBabe.  At least I'm not.

What I hope to pass on and I think other's too is that sometimes the anxiety of trying to keep the whole package together can be too much.  When your balloon of life keeps getting bigger and bigger - and keeps getting banged around by the stresses of everyday life - sometimes adding the extra stress of a "career" where you are expected to do more than others can be the busting point. 

All I know is that sometimes we end up sacrificing too much for our dreams.  What's wrong after all with having a life that's a little more - normal?  Not all of us ADD or not are going to be able to live the dream - artist, musician, big money.  Eventually it ends up where a lot of us crash and burn just because life is like that.

For those who can do it and keep it all together fantastic! But I think sometimes we end up having to be a bit more minimalistic somewhere in our lives so we can focus more on the really important parts - love, friends, happiness.  Sometimes happiness IS a warm puppy! LOL

Good for you though artbabe - keep working on your goals and if that's what you truly find makes you happy then we all are happier for you!!!

Glen, you expressed it wonderfully...

I spent tons of time trying to succeed (not excel, just succeed) in a career I was unsuited for, because I thought it was something that would challenge me, and...I thought it was a career I "should" pursue. I know it sounds dumb, but I was younger then....

Anyway, I had to spend so much time and energy just trying to keep up that I made too many sacrifices in my personal life. And I stressed out so much that I started drinking to relax. Like a lot of ADDs I didn't know when to quit; I have a hard time 'giving up'....I've quit enough things before I was done, I didn't think I "should" do that in my career, no matter how much it hurt.

I paid a high price for that....I never really did "succeed"...although I got by. And I didn't develop in the areas I WAS good at....nor did I get the satisfaction of a job well done.

Now I believe that we should "do what we love, the money will follow". I just have to figure out what I love!

Excellent Joyous!!!! Big hugs for you!!

Can ya tell I just took my meds! LOL

Seriously - you are on the point!

Remember though - when you are happy in love and friends and life in general - then the love of work isn't all that important.  What IS important is LOVE people - LOVE life!!!!!!!

We all forget what is REALLY important.  We work our whole lives, trying to get what?  We lose our love at home - we've lost a great deal then.  Just make sure to get the priorities right before leaping off to be a chef, or a painter, etc.  Love the people around you!  Get back with family and friends.  THEN - and only then - should ADD'ers start working up to getting that ultimate dream job. 

Also, if your home and social life are together - then when the stresses of a hard long day at a job you love is not so bad.  You'll come home - get a big hug and be able to tell your SO about your awesome day! 

Point is - get the LOVE and attention you need at home - then go at it!!  I'm all for catching that falling star - as long as you keep everything in balance.

Luck and love to all

 She is keeping him from us again because all her child support stopped. The boy receives a SSI check and the law states she cant get both and the amount of the check is more than the child support, so she went with that instead.

[/QUOTE]

One thing I would be cautious of is the fact that you're not sending child support anymore. Regardless of the fact that SSI is more than child support, I would not let her make that "choice." SSI is set up to help mom's with children that have dead-beat dads that don't pay child support. I would send the child support, along with extra money to make up for back child support (because your husband is liable, by law, to pay that SSI money back to the state.) If she continues to receive SSI along with the child support, she'll be in big trouble, which could be helpful to your case. If you're trying to gain custody of the child, which it sounds like you desperately need to, the judge is not going to look too kindly on the fact that you haven't been paying child support. Talk to a lawyer, even if you can only afford legal aid, and find out exactly what you need to do to follow the law and obtain custody. I feel so sorry and angry at the life that child is leading. Good luck, I'll be praying for you.

She isnt receiving child support any more because the amount the boy receives from SSI is more than his support and thats what SHE chose SHE wanted. She told the law master that she wanted $800 a month to live on. Our lawyer brought the fact about SSI. The law master said do you have ANY money coming in and her reply was NO. Once she got up in the lie, the law master told her she did not appreciate being lied to. The mother replied that SHE needed that money to live on and it was up to HIS father to SUPPORT HIM, NOT HERS. The law master said it was up to both of them, just not the father, to support their child. They were never married because she found out that he didnt make as much as money as she thought so she dumped him for another man. She has kept this child from his father for the last 8 yrs. The only time we got to see him was when we took her to court for visitation. ALL back support has been paid in full as of June. Thats when all visitation stopped. SHE decided to stop it on her own. I called the law master court and they said for my husband to file contempt charges on her. This woman thinks because SHE wants it a certain way, thats the way its gonna be or else.

She hates me. I dont care except for the fact that she shows this hatred in front of the child and my 2 kids. Ive told my 2 that she is just mad and to pray for her at night. The child sees this and he told me that he heard his mom tell her boyfriend that she hates me because he hugs me and tells me he loves me when we tell him goodbye and we will see him next weekend. So me and him has an agreement that he tells me this before we leave the house so his mom dont see or hear this. I use to tell him, "Ill see you next weekend buddy". I dont do that anymore. I just tell him bye. She has tried to accuse of not giving him his medicine but I do. I give it to him because he told me he "NEEDS IT SO HE WILL BE A GOOD BOY" He is a good kid. A very good kid. He can quote a bible verse and it will give you chills. He loves going to church with us. He loves to ride with his grandmother and great aunt. So I let him ride with them. I tell him I will meet him there and that I have his bible. He saw my big bible and he said when he got a little bit older he would love to have one like mine. We will sit down on the couch and he will read to me. I have been working on his reading with him. I have no little kids books anymore since my 2 kids are older than him. So, he chose the bible and didnt want me to go and buy him no "kiddie books" to read. He is a smart child. He told me one night that his mom calls him stupid and other names. (the "other names" will blow your mind. she calls him bastard, retard, 4 eyes, Son of a bitch, and then she says, I wish you were never born because YOU ruined my life)

I can go on and on about this woman. She even got caught selling his ADHD medicine and got caught snorting it herself. She has the doctor to change his medicine so much and then she goes and tells the doctor that the other pills worked better. She then takes the other pills and sells those. She refuses to work. She thinks its up to my husband her. She takes the child money to support herself and her boyfriends. We even go and buy him clothes. We have to take all tags out of them, put his name on the clothes so she wont take them back to the store and trade them in for the money. Same thing for a coat we bought him and his shoes. Now she takes them to a consignment shop and sells them or sells them to her friends.

I cant wait for our court date. Hopefully the law master will talk to people who use to be friends with her. One of them is her own 2 daughters and their stepmom. The daughters call here to talk to them and I take him to their house so they can see each other. She no longer lets him see his half sisters. Im sorry, he has been with his half sisters all his life, until the girls left home due to the abuse. They loved being able to see him every week. The girls come to my house after church or we go their house. He even wants to stay the night. The stepmom of his half sisters has commented on the change in him when he is with us.

I hope all goes well in Oct.

I'm new to this forum just being diagnosed in the last 2 weeks with Adult ADHD

Bi-Polar runs in my family, and I was diagnosed 4 years ago with Anxiety/Depression.  I've been on Zoloft, Lexapro, and finally Prozac.  All of these made me extremely tired, even after 8-10 hours of sleep a night!  I finally went to my doctor and saw a poster in the lobby on Adult ADHD.  I was a decent student growing up outside of Detroit, but my report cards and conferences were all the same..."doesn't work up to potential", "can't stay on task", blah blah blah.  I took the quick way out in college and only got my Associates since that didn't take very long.  Anyhoo...I've switched jobs a lot, I have a hard time concentrating, and that poster on the doc's wall was me EXACTLY!  I then talked to him, did an initial screening, and was sent to a psychiatrist that deals with Adult ADHD.

I'm so happy I was diagnosed!  Most weekends you would find me in a bed dead asleep, but even this past weekend I was up, moving around, and doing things that needed done.  Even my husband notices a difference, as he's stated that I seem happier and more focused.  The only thing I've hated is starting my Adderall (20mg).  The first few days my emotions were a huge roller coaster, the constant dry mouth, I ate about 2 pop tarts in 4 days, and I was jittery.  The initial symptoms seem to have subsided, and I do feel a lot better than I have in years!

Glad to be here and know that I'm "not the only one"

Melly - it gets so much better!

I'm glad the initial effects are going away for you.  I know the first 2 weeks on dexedrine I was a little worried.  I wasn't anxious though which was great.  It was more like a vulcan thing "hmmm logically rapid heartbeat and loss of appetite isn't good for you - maybe I should be concerned?" LOL I felt strongly the pharmacists warning of the "false sense of well-being".  I loved it way more than the real sense of feeling crappy.  It was a wild couple of weeks.

You are certainly not alone.  I meet more and more people online.  Sadly, people in the real world tend to be scared of admitting they have it to me.  I can only think they worry of the stigma attached to a mental illness.

I thought about keeping it to myself.  Then, I decided I'd be doing a disservice to me and others if I didn't share it as widely as I could.  I started to mention it first to my family and boss at work.  Once I explained that it was the cause of my sloppy work, poor behavior and other things all have noticed, then they could see the changes on meds, and all was fine with them.

Soon I told my co-workers.  Some were awesome about it and support me a lot.  Others of course decided it was either an attention grab or some other strangeness they didn't want.  It's ok with me - you can't be loved by everyone it's just impossible.  The new thicker skin I'm growing is a good thing at times like that.

I've even been able to help relative strangers.  There's a man who works at my local 7-11 store who was talking while I was in line to pay about how the other workers tease him about his inability to remember complex tasks and lists.  He said they call it "eric's syndrome" after him.  I was very upset at this - and began to talk to him about the chance he had ADHD.  I gave him the address to the online test so he could get some info.  I haven't heard back but I hope it helped.

Anyway it's been a wierd trip "coming out" with ADHD - but I'm glad I did.  The longer we stay embarassed the longer it stays a hardly understood problem.

Thanks for the kind words Glen!  I haven't been really hesitant about admitting I have ADHD since I feel that finally I know what's been going on with me all these years, and I'm finally getting the help that I need.  Close friends and co-workers do notice a difference, and my boss is very supportive of it.  I also work with kids, a lot with ADHD.  In fact, yesterday I had to deal with a little one that had a major meltdown from skipping meds and just telling him that I knew how he felt seemed to put him more at ease.  My "big boss" at my organization also has a program in mind for me and other adults with ADHD to mentor the children in our program with ADD/ADHD.

I still hate the stigma that's associated with any mental illness, but that's all based on ignorance.  At least when I meet people and tell them, I can also take that minute to educate them a bit. 

Ross - I don't think all the doctors are diagnosing teens just to avoid the hard stuff.  Sure - some are but I think that there are other things involved.  First it seems by just talking to ADD'ers that it's genetic and passed down to children.  That would mean that each generation if you have multiple children - you can pass it down to them.  Also, the doctors are becoming better educated at diagnosis of ADHD - so it would seem logical that when you bring kids in there will be more diagnosed with ADHD.  Used to be the doc would just think the child has a troubled past, an allergy or other similar diseases.

I tend to take the optimist side of it and give most MDs the benefit of a doubt.

I have just made my appointment with the Doctor. Every day for the last five years, I said I would make it and I finally have. The Doctor is the first step to being diagnosed with ADHD. I'm 40 years old.

My son was diagnosed five years ago and it finially provided me with some answers to questions that had haunted me all my life. Why was I different? Why couldn't I cope with things that other people could? Why did I have such a difficult time holding down a job? Why were my finances in a mess? Why was I estranged from my family? Why couldn't I even begin to understand my two son's even though they acted like me??

James (my son) was nearly 15 when he was diagnosed after many, many years of fighting with the authorities regarding his behaviour. Far too late to be diagnosed if medication was to work. The damage to his school work had already been done. He failed every exam. He now drifts from job to job, plays computer games a lot. Can't hold down a relationship. Disorganised. Unhappy! He won't see a Doctor though. Ritalin made him worse and he believes all the medication will be the same. Trying to regulate Ritalin to a  teenager growing at 2 cm's a month was very hard.

I think he might go, if I go, though.

I can give you so many reasons why I haven't seen a Doctor before but we all know why, really. I thought I could cope, I thought I should cope or I was a bad Mother. I thought they make take my boys away if I admitted I couldn't cope.

I never achieve, I have tic's. I am now on my third marriage. My finances are diobolical. How I still own a house, is beyond me.............! I fidget and I lose things. I shout at people, I love. I lock down in a book and won't come out until the book is finished. But, I'm brilliant! I'm clever and funny but always feel so sad! I have learned to cope. I have staff who do the mundane and I get the exciting. I now have a husband who supports everything I do and is reminding me each and every day that he loves me. He is supporting me every step of the way and will be there when I see the Doctor.

I have worked coping strategies and Microsoft Outlook is my blessing. If I set up tasks, it gets done.

My concerns??? We are based with the British Military in Germany. Military Doctors won't have an understanding of what I'm trying to tell them. They don't have to deal with ADHD as it prohibits entry into the Military.

I'm scared but excited at the same time. I can live without medication and have done so for 40 years. I just don't see why I should have too. I deserve a life too!

My youngest son (age 12) was diagnosed adhd 3 months ago and is taking Adderall (after being told through IEP that he was also developmentally delayed IQ roughly 70). That was a wonderful day becasue I finally had a name for what made my sweet baby boy "different." Now I'm trying to learn all I can about adhd in an effort better understand my son and to have some idea of how to help him reach his fullest potential whatever that may be. Guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm asking for any insight/suggestions/advice on how to make the best I can for me, my son, daughter, and husband out of what we have.

P.S. It's REALLY nice after 12 years of dealing with adhd and all that comes with it to finally encounter people who've been where I am and survived .

Hi,

I've posted here for a while and have never told my story.  I like the fact that you can write your story here and people will actually care about it and relate to it.

I am female.  I have ADD inattentive type.  When I was a baby I had casts on my legs and never really crawled.  I've read a lot about a theory that says not enough crawling can give you ADD and ADHD.  Anyway, all through school and growing up I could never do cartwheels like the other kids.  I could never do back bends.  I tried for one entire summer to do back bends like my friends and could never do it.  PE was not my thing.  I did well in school though, so my parents never really thought anything was wrong.  You could look at my sister and me and you could see the difference, though.  She would clean her half of our room in about 1/2 hour and be off to the library, her favorite place.  And I would spend the entire DAY cleaning my half of our room.  I would take out all the papers out of my desk and read each one, remembering things I had forgotten and reminisincing.  Then I would remember that I was cleaning my room! 

Getting married and having a family was a major struggle for me.  I was trying to go to school, have babies, hold down jobs, finish college.  I couldn't keep organized for anything.  I couldn't keep the house organized.  I would lose things, piles of papers were everywhere.  Then I started my own company!  I am an artist and I sold art on plaques.  I had a wonderful non-ADD rep who sold for me and it was great!  When she retired, I lost the momentum.  I couldn't keep things going at all!  It was so discouraging.  I would know exactly what to do, and then I would get distracted.  I would not follow through! 

I ended up divorced - many add and adhd people are divorced - and started to teach school in a private school.  I had a conference with parents of a student who had been dx with ADD and it was then that I made my discovery!  I listened to her father tell all the things that had happened to him and it was like looking in a mirror.  I went to a psychiatrist after that and was diagnosed with ADD. 

I have tried Adderal, Concerta, and herbal treatments.  Being treated seemed like putting on glasses for the first time and seeing things in a different light!  I feel like the knowlege and education I have had about ADD has made most of the difference in my life.  I forgive myself more easily and laugh at my mistakes more easily than before.  I understand myself better!  I know now why people get frustrated with me.  I didn't know why before.  It is such a relief to understand how my mind works.

I have studied a theory about ADD and crawling, as I mentioned before, and am going to implement the exercises into my life.  Of course, I am procrastinating doing the exercises.  I do them and then forget to do them.  The book that got me going is called Stopping ADHD.  It is well worth the $15.00 it costs in my opinion.  It puts a whole different slant on ADHD symptoms.

Anyway, it is great to read other's stories here and to post mine.

Thanks to all of you for making a place to come where I feel so comfortable and at home.

I don't see how that not crawling theory can be a universal truth.  MY Daughter rolled over early, crawled early, and walked early if walking around the house holding on to the new testament bible is walking.  She was always active.  She used rolling as a method of locumotion when she was barely over 3 months.  she would roll around to get into things. 

 Her father has Adhd.  so I think it is passed genetically.  I might have Add.  I have trouble keeping up with stuff.  I get distracted at work too.  I didn't think that was possible but after reading some of these posts I am starting to rethink.

 Her father has Adhd.  so I think it is passed genetically.  I might have Add.  I have trouble keeping up with stuff.  I get distracted at work too.  I didn't think that was possible but after reading some of these posts I am starting to rethink.[/QUOTE]
I agree, no way it's a universal truth. My kids all crawled well, and they all have it. My grandpa had it, dad had it, my mom has it, I have it, my wife has it.

No doubt it is a genetic issue.

I believe it's another AD/HD phobe that came up with it.

Or some AD/HDr in denial.

Best wishes,

David

When I was a baby I had casts on my legs and never really crawled.

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Funny that you should mention the crawling.  My son, now 11 years old, crawled for about a couple of weeks before he was off and running.  That lack of crawling made  him clumsier as a toddler.  Physicians have proven that babies crawling helps with balance later in life as they walk.  My son used to be all bruised up from falling and bumping into things.  Now, he cuts corners too sharply and bumps into stuff all of the time. 

We've been told since preschool by teachers with little relevent experience that they believed our son had ADD/ADHD.  We've proven them wrong every time.  He was diagnosed with Sensory Integration Disorder and completed the Interactive Metronome Occupational Therapy program.  The OT said that our son didn't have ADHD because he could complete a repetitive program of 2000 reps.  We discovered that he has had enlarged adenoids and they were removed as well.  He is a mouth-breather, apparently a common SID trait.  He started middle school on 8/9/05 and he is having a hard time keeping up because of not paying attention, making careless mistakes, not listening, not finishing tasks, not following directions and being easily distracted.  These are all of the symptoms of ADD-inattentive type.  His physician had suggested treating the SID with meds in the past, but we were really against them, but with these new difficulties, I will do ANYTHING to make it better for my son.  We are meeting with her to discuss medications for him.  I have suggested Strattera because of the results my husband and I have seen with our clients and long-term use of the amphetemine-based meds (stimulants).  I am a Social Worker with a County government Human Services agency and my husband works with the Department of Corrections with felony offenders. 

I'm so thankful to have found this message board.  Just reading your stories and comments is a great help.

Currently I am 30 years old but I feel & look younger. 

I was born more than 3 weeks late.

After I turned 3 years old I decided to talk. Doctors said that I was mentally retarded, I say that I just like to take my own time. During grade school I was always near the top of the class in math and science but in the bottom group in reading and writing. I enjoy math and have the hardest time writing papers. I enjoy thinking, reading several books at one time, coming up with a tremendous amount of great ideas, starting some but hardly finishing any. I have lists, if I miss place a list then I redo the list. 50% of the mess in my office consists of paper scraps with lists, notes to self, people's contact information, calculations, etc. I enjoy learning new languages, knowing about astronomy, creating craft sculptures, creative projects, figuring out better ways to do things, running/hiking, cooking, and the list goes on. But for a while I have lost my passion and direction.

My motivation & energy are low. Hard to do what I need to do, which creates anxiety. Start things but difficult to finish, might come back to it later. Time management for me is doing things on my own schedule. I Procrastinate, very difficult to focus on writing papers. I try using an outline for writing papers but I have such a hard time placing my thoughts on paper. I recently bought a digital voice recorder so that I can spit out my thoughts before they get over taken by another thought(s). If my mind gets caught on something then it is hard to let go of it and I become very detailed oriented. My ideas and thoughts are always changing as new information and realizations are discovered. I have had recent multiple lay offs. My most recent layoff I was told that I was being let go because “I was not the best match for the position even though I had a good work ethic and high intelligence”. Hard to get out and be social and I don't mind being alone (I am also introverted). Relationships struggle. My most recent relationship I sabotaged because it was draining any positive energy that I had and I didn't know of any other way to get out of it (Ironically she is the only one that told me I have major ADD). I some how found away to graduate with a BS in Biochemistry. I am getting my MBA but finding it hard to focus, especially writing papers. I have one class left and I am fearful of it. I Constantly feel that I can do so much and that there is a huge well of potential that doesn't get realized. There have been many times that I should be some much greater than what I am. As a child my report cards and the parent teacher conferences pointed out that I needed to focus more. I talked to much with others around me and I day dreamed often. If something doesn't interest me in a classroom setting then I will begin thinking about something else. I tend to think about I carry around a note pad just in case I become bored and need to write. I always print. I am always talking to myself in my mind. I am told that when I am deep thought or I am reading or researching and I am interrupted that I am snippy or rude. It is so hard for me to change gears on the fly. I am a slow, say each word in my minds voice (try this with an organic chemistry text book), but I can retain a lot of information.

What I remember is at times having many ideas going through my head but finding it very difficult to stick with one thing. I walk around when I need to think and I enjoy driving because I get a lot of thinking done that way.

At times I use a friend's adderall and I notice an amazing difference. The difference is that I can act on things rather than letting things consume me.

Adderall makes me feel as if things are clearer. Great productive energy that allows me to organize and stay on task. My mind feels alive with the electricity of ideas and thoughts.

I feel that this medication enhances what I consider as a gift from God. I take in so much around me and have a huge hunger for learning yet I am organized and I feel very passionate. I can recognize when I am falling into an bad habit but the difference is that I can do something about it when taking adderall. Using medication has opened up a my world.

After spending many hours reading this forum yesterday and experiencing today with out adderall has driven me to see my doctor tomorrow. I don't have insurance but I am willing to pay the full price for not having to have the feeling of being chained down. Enough is enough!

I will keep you posted on my progress...

I was born more than 3 weeks late. Procrastinating again, eh? hehe

Doctors said that I was mentally retarded, ...that's what my wife says about me2...

During grade school I was always near the top of the class in math and science ...Me3

I enjoy thinking, reading several books at one time, Me4, but rarely finishing any. 2 nites ago I walked through the house, and found six books that I wanted to read. One was one I'd started and never finished. One was about flags. I started reading four of them that night, and would have read a little in another, but fell asleep. coming up with a tremendous amount of great ideas, Me5. Some paid out, but then I went bankrupt b/c I didn't know how to run a business, b/c I dropped out of MBA school and got into something else. starting some but hardly finishing any. Drs. Hollowell and ??? call this symptom "Many projects going at once, trouble following through".

I have lists, if I miss place a list then I redo the list. Me6, about every 3 days...

50% of the mess in my office consists of paper scraps with lists, notes to self, people's contact information, calculations, etc. Me7. Must be a salesman? Me8.

I enjoy learning new languages, Mi, si. knowing about astronomy, 'Sup, dude? creating craft sculptures, Nope. creative projects, Yup. figuring out better ways to do things, Always! running/hiking, cooking, Don't forget eating... and the list goes on. But for a while I have lost my passion and direction. Pshyst happens. I may have found what you lost... My passion is going South...

My motivation & energy are low. Hard to do what I need to do, which creates anxiety. Start things but difficult to finish, might come back to it later. AD/HDrs are good startings, but bad enders. So, remain a pointman, and pass it off to the platoon. Or remain a scout/pioneer, and pass it on to the settlers. Don't choke yourself.

Time management for me is doing things on my own schedule. Yup. Late at night.

I Procrastinate, Me9. My solution to procrastination is to wait until the last minute.

very difficult to focus on writing papers. I try using an outline for writing papers but I have such a hard time placing my thoughts on paper. On a savior level of seriousness, I may have a solution for you. I open 8, 9, or whatever (once 30 plus documents on at least 9 or 12 programs, 2 computer's worth). I was the only presenter at a week long conference of 20 individual presenters that got an ovation. I've had the keyboard deck so hot I can't rest my palms on it.

As I'm workinig on one doc (here I'm using the word generically, like saying coke), and an idea pops in for another, I'll switch to, or create a new doc. That way I'm being me w/o the strangulations of straight thinking, and at the end, will have 20 creations completed in about the same time as a nOrmal would take with 20 documents. E.g. 4 or 5 web pages, 2 or 3 powerpoints, 4 or 5 spreadsheets, one or 2 MS Projects, 5 or 6 word docs, 2 or 3 Windows Explorers, a search window or 2, 2 picture editors, an atlas, 1 or 2 adobes, a calculator, a music program. I am RAM heavy. As a matter of fact, since I started this response 2.5 hours ago, I've been working on 4 other projects. Relaxing evening, eh? hehe

I have two Jotto desks in my car, which I consider a rolling office. One is for my laptop, (w/daylight capable display), the other when I'm in the back seat, or for a printer. I'm on GPS all the time (doesn't hurt in court to have a backup), with GPRS/EDGE PC card, so I'm internet capable 80% of my day. I'll average 300 miles / day, and sometimes hire a person just to drive so I can be productive in between stops. I have the display setup as a near HUD, so I've one eye on the road, and the other on the screen. Not only do I have a radar detector (not b/c I speed, but b/c I wiggle), but I've a digital camera spotting silhouettes for me. I'm thinking of picking up a proximity radar, but they're kind of pricey.

It'll drive observers nuts, but it works for me. Did it just last night with some music downloads; and this morning with some neurological studies. I only had 3 documents saved, but on the first I had about 5 topics that I'll go back and split out later. Maybe. At least I got the info, and can word search to find it again. Another reason not to vocal record. I scan my handwritten notes into the computer. I should have a notebook laptop, but...

I recently bought a digital voice recorder so that I can spit out my thoughts before they get over taken by another thought(s). Not me. I have to write or type it down. I never went back and listened to the notes. I'm not an aural learner. If my mind gets caught on something then it is hard to let go of it and I become very detailed oriented. Some call this "hyperfocus".

My ideas and thoughts are always changing as new information and realizations are discovered. Me10.

I have had recent multiple lay offs. I call them getting fired. (I just got fired June 2, 2005. I'm now suing them for ADA violations of ADHD mental disability harassment, non-accommodation, and discrimination). Actually, all my firings (about 10 or 12? out of 23 or more jobs) have ended up being beneficial career moves. A professional headhunter told me that the average job stay is now 3.5 years. My trick was to (and you are young enough to do this), start an entity that exists forever, but take work as it comes and goes. So, truthfully, I can say I've been a CEO for x years, a VP R&D for x-y years, etc. Of my own QuantumYields, Inc. I hear an LLC works pretty good, too. Keep a good track record, and record your successes. Learn to mitigate your failures, so you don't repeat them. E.G. I don't keep making the same mistake, I come up with new ones... One of my bosses that fired me said that. He was complimenting me for being obedient.

My most recent layoff I was told that I was being let go because �I was not the best match for the position even though I had a good work ethic and high intelligence�. I made my last employer over $4M in 2004/2005, and still got fired b/c of incompatibilities with the sales department. I was #1 salesman, too. So I went to work for the competition, and have made my new employer the equivalent of $2M in 2 months... dumb phsysts... it would have saved me all that heartache... I'm also on Cymbalta for seasonal depressions.

Hard to get out and be social and I don't mind being alone (I am also introverted). My best friends are barkeepers... sushi bars...

Relationships struggle. Shut up! Nooo way! How about 30+ girl friends before marriage, and my one wife (hyperfocus) has separated 6 times?

My most recent relationship I sabotaged because it was draining any positive energy that I had and I didn't know of any other way to get out of it (Ironically she is the only one that told me I have major ADD). I some how found away to graduate with a BS in Biochemistry. HOT DAWG! I was a chembio premed, then switched to anthropology, then to microbiology, then to an MBA Ag program, then to plant science, then to soil science, then to crop pathology; finally getting my MS in Plant Sci in 6 years... I am getting my MBA but finding it hard to focus, especially writing papers. Stick to it. You'll earn over $300,000/year in a few years with a bio background and MBA training/experience. Within 30 days I had 5 job offers, of which I turned down 4 'cuz they were only around $100 - $150k/year. One employer/friend said to write my own job description, he'll hire me until retirment, but I turned him down b/c he wanted me to stay local, and I want to continue international agriculture career... I just turned down a headhunter who said she had a $200-250k job as a COO, but I'll earn $250-$300 in ag sales and business development consulting.  I have one class left and I am fearful of it. Fear of the unknown. You've been doing this so long, what if you FAIL!? Don't worry, you will. But, you'll pick yourself up and keep going; learning from your mistake. Don't marry another AD/HD. We attract one another, and two ADrs under the same roof, even within the same company, can be devastating for one, or both. I Constantly feel that I can do so much and that there is a huge well of potential that doesn't get realized. Yup. I've tried partnering w/people or companies that recognize that, and let them turn me loose, while they fill in the gaps. Those that can, do, but none have ever lasted more than 3 years. Yeah, I'm a loose stallion, or a wild cannon, but harness me, and I'll quantum leap you to the next level. Just make sure you're buckled in and have your helmet sealed. BTW, you won't need spurs or gun powder.  There have been many times that I should be some much greater than what I am. But you're okay where you are. I was thirty when I finally graduated grad school. As a child my report cards and the parent teacher conferences pointed out that I needed to focus more. I talked to much with others around me and I day dreamed often. If something doesn't interest me in a classroom setting then I will begin thinking about something else. I tend to think about I carry around a note pad just in case I become bored and need to write. Yup. I carry a laptop, an 8x11 spiral, a clipboard, a 3x5 pocket notebook, 2 pens, sometimes a PDA. I always print. Yup. I am always talking to myself in my mind. Not talking, but thinking. I talk when I'm in a critical thought phase, but it's outloud. My AD/HD counselor heard me once, and said that's a great way to help focus. I am told that when I am deep thought or I am reading or researching and I am interrupted that I am snippy or rude. Yup. It is so hard for me to change gears on the fly. I am a slow, say each word in my minds voice (try this with an organic chemistry text book), but I can retain a lot of information.

At times I use a friend's adderall and I notice an amazing difference. Not legal. Get your own. You know you're own mind, and you can diagnose yourself. You just need the doctor for a prescription, or a second opinion if you wish. There are online ADHD surveys that are the same as when a doc does them, and charges you $350.00 for the diagnosis. You will need a once/month office visit to get your "triplicate" prescription written. ADDerall, Ritalin, Focalin, and others are Category I pharmaceuticals. You won't find them OTC, and stay away from the street meth. It's dirty. Find a local ADHD doc. There's refs for them online. Try CHADD or ADDA .net or .com or .org. I forget... The difference is that I can act on things rather than letting things consume me.

Adderall makes me feel as if things are clearer. Great productive energy that allows me to organize and stay on task. Yup. My mind feels alive with the electricity of ideas and thoughts.

I feel that this medication enhances what I consider as a gift from God. Yup. God knew what He was doing when He created you, and knew He wanted to bless you with ADHD. I take in so much around me and have a huge hunger for learning yet I am organized and I feel very passionate. I can recognize when I am falling into an bad habit but the difference is that I can do something about it when taking adderall. Using medication has opened up a my world.

After spending many hours reading this forum yesterday and experiencing today with out adderall has driven me to see my doctor tomorrow. Yup. I don't have insurance but I am willing to pay the full price for not having to have the feeling of being chained down. Ritalin, a more common subscription for ADHD, at the highest allowable dose is $48/month for generic methylphenidate at Sam's Club pharmacies. My phsrynque dalk charges me $25/mo for the 10 minute visit for the prescription; and $75 once/year for a longer evaluation.  Enough is enough! Welcome to the New World, Neo...

I will keep you posted on my progress...

Hey, LynnAnn--just wanted to let you know that I always felt I was a brilliant prodigy.  It was not until I was 32 years old that a psychiatrist informed me I have ADHD.  I quickly read that meant I had a "minimal brain dysfunction" & my ego & I cried for about a day.  I totally can see it in my parents, but all in good ways.  I am 4O now & I understand that ADHD is likely what made me so "smart".  Hyperfocus can be incredibly productive & facilitating.  I never understood why the more units I took in college the more I got straight A's, yet I knew that if I was given a homework assignment 2 weeks in advance it would simply drive me crazy.  I would end up having to delay the assignment until just the night before, stay up all night hyperfocusing on it & get a standing ovation from my class the next day.  I guess that's the benefit of not being distracted.  Don't forget--all your engineers are hyperfocus trolls--people just think they're wierd, but that's why they don't shower a lot--they are hyperfocusing on what they're into.  Their brilliance is undeniable & admirable.  I admit I learned early on in school the better I did the more positive attention I got from my teachers, and I've always loved to please.  I am a born bottom-kisser, but it's gratifying to me to make people happy.  I have eight year old twins & the youngest is not a pleaser & I'm adjusting to that but in some ways I wish her sister & I had more of her independence.  Anyway, just tell your child she's brilliant & reinforce all her strengths with positive touch reinforcement & that can do miracles. It clearly did with me.  My PhD is not far from my reach & that's only possible because I was always TOLD I was smart--not that I am. 

i just re read this thread and it amazes me how many ppl have all the same problems.  after all the work and research and trying to figure out how Cher got the adhd in the first place. I think I have it too. I am impulsive just like she is but since I have lived with for 37 years I have learned to control it.  however, it still gets the best of me.  But as a mom, a wife, a friend, business owner I think it has served me well. 

I found that being adhd is a good thing otherwise I would be a boring person.

One Hundred Percent! 

ADHD is hereditary--it always amazes me how my parents can agree that I have it but they never could possibly--like I'm Test Tube Terrie or something.  I guess they have yet to embrace it/too old to change their minds/know nothing else. 

Hi Caroll,

Welcome to the forum! So how long did it take you to write that? It'll take me a few days to read it... just kidding. I'll do it tonight. Maybe. Get started, at least. :). Anyhow, welcome to the forum. Did I say that already? Don't mind me, I'm a little absent minded person. Okay, ok, I'll tell the truth, I'm a big absent minded person... So, welcome to the forum. Did...? Just kidding... :)

D

Hi, Carol.L, now that Mr. Ornado's very UNfruitfull response is out of the way, I will try to be slightly more supportive!  David--she is in NEED!  Be a mensch, come on . . .

I hope this is slightly more helpful:  I am a very small girl who lived pretty much in the Streets of San Francisco for over three years, albeit I did live inside my Jeep Cherokee in a filthy alley that did not usually tow & was beside an over-full homeless shelter.  I have all my degrees & yada, yada, yada but unfortunately after having my twins & staying home with them I was unemployed when my husband kicked me out.  So I guess my point is this:  Attacking the worst fear first--your son WILL survive, regardless of what happens.  If I can make it, pretty much anyone can.  Besides being without my daughters I almost didn't mind being homeless.  It hurt like hell that my family wouldn't help me (I'm 4O, now) but they are all very "earn your keep & do it yourself" type of people.  Also, it didn't hurt that I'd been self-medicating the ADHD I didn't yet know I had with illicit inhalables.  Anyway, my other question may seem rude, but not sleeping for weeks on end--your son is absolutely not using anything else, correct?  I didn't sleep for three years in a row after we had twins, but I also had chemical help on occasion.  I find it amazing that anyone could do that for weeks on end au natural.  Anyway, it sounds like your son is very close to you & your husband is from the old school, not to mention they're both men.  I find it impossible to pick anyone over my children, yet in hindsight, I have learned that I can't do crap for them without having a strong bond with their dad as a good model of what a marriage should look like.  Okay, none of this makes much sense.  I guess I'm saying the Military might actually be good for your son--I understand not wishing to be murdered in Iraq, etc., but my sister who is the ONLY person in our family perhaps "de-void" of any ADHD symptoms has been in the military (to pay for school--our Dad had the $$ he just believes in us earning everything ourselves) since she was 18 (ROTC--16) and point being that I think the structure must have ridded any ADHD issues she may have had.  She has been on the front lines in Iraq as a surgical nurse, etc. & feels very good about what she does.  She's a Commanding Officer & only 36.  Anyway, you said Military won't take him, so perhaps that rules out other things like Police Dept., etc.  ADHD I thought was not able to be discriminated against.  Anyway (again) I'll end this--just keep praying that God has the right plan for your son & you & even your husband.  Talking about this to him (hubby) & saying that you respect his decisions as much as he respects yours without giving in is an important first step, that needs to be repeated often, I've found.  Mutual admiration & respect can actually work a lot of miracles in a marriage if you're seriously respecting & trying to learn from the other person.  Sorry this took so long--you've probably gotten some real help by now, just wanted to be supportive.  By the way, in San Francisco, I WAS able to get a min. wage paying job at Old Navy, afford to rent a residential hotel room where I shared a bathroom with needle-users & drunks that would be dead by morning so I'd have to step over them on my way out to work, and still had five dollars a day for 99-cent burgers at Carl's Junior.  I had to sell my car & walked to work, & supplemented hungry times with the many dining rooms that feed homeless for free.  It wasn't glamorous, but I did it.  Ironically, my dad runs one of the homeless shelters up here & no one took me seriously that I needed help.  But I managed.  Maybe this will subside the scariest fears when your husband does make him leave.  I understand how difficult this really is.

Carol L.  If your son is good with computers, maybe you could help him get more work.  I am in the IT feild, and I know there are a lot of people out there willing to pay to have someone fix, what your son may consider, simple problems.  Could you work with him to do some advertising?  May be get business cards and put up flyers? 

If he could manage to get 10 hours of work a week and charge $20 an hour, thats $200 a week.  ($20 an hour is not that much for computer work.)  He will probably need help getting started and keeping organized.  And he may end up with a job that is over his head.  But he can always not charge someone when he finds he can't do what they need. 

Hello All.

This is my first post on this site. I am a 26 year old male with ADD and Major Depression. I have known about the Depression and the ADD since I was a kid but was formally diagnosed when I was 21. I spent the next 5 years thinking that I could fix myself.

I have been married for 4 years to a very organized wife. She follows behind me and cleans up all of my "messes" I never told her about the ADD until about 3 months ago. I was always a little worried that she would react badly to the news. It turns out that was the best thing I could have done. My wife was able to understand why I do the little things that just drive her crazy.

I do not use my ADD as an excuse, but it is nice to read these post and truly understand how much my ADD affects my life. I have never been able to stick to a hobby for mor than a few weeks. I constantly feel the need to switch jobs, I never complete any of my projects at home. I am currently remodeling my house and have 5 rooms going at once.

Before I met my wife my credit was horrible. I had the money to pay bills but was not good at the "Small" detalis in life like remembering to pay bills every month.

I have been put on Wellbutrin 300 SR. So far I have seen some improvement. I started to feel very angry and anxious, so my Dr. put me on Lexapro as well. The Lexapro and Wellbutrin seem to work pretty well together.

Well thats my story. I have never really submitted posts before (1 or 2 times) and I thought it may be good to talk a little bit about my ADD. I have a problem with admitting to my Depression and ADD.

Z-ADD

Something that I forgot to add to my post.

Granted I am not a Dr. but I have learned so things re: meds that I have seen some poeple wondering about.

For those that take Depression meds that cause Sexual side effects, speak to your Dr. about adding Wellbutrin. In some peopel Wellbutrin has a good sexual effect and it can in some cases eliminate, or lessen the negative side effects your anti-depressant causes.

I have also heard alot of people say that Wellbutrin causes them to become more anxious or angry. Adding Lexapor or another med to help with Anxiety can help medigate that as well.

Z-ADD

This is my first post on this site. I am a 26 year old male with ADD and Major Depression. I have known about the Depression and the ADD since I was a kid but was formally diagnosed when I was 21. I spent the next 5 years thinking that I could fix myself.

I have been married for 4 years to a very organized wife. She follows behind me and cleans up all of my "messes" I never told her about the ADD until about 3 months ago. I was always a little worried that she would react badly to the news. It turns out that was the best thing I could have done. My wife was able to understand why I do the little things that just drive her crazy.

I do not use my ADD as an excuse, but it is nice to read these post and truly understand how much my ADD affects my life. I have never been able to stick to a hobby for mor than a few weeks. I constantly feel the need to switch jobs, I never complete any of my projects at home. I am currently remodeling my house and have 5 rooms going at once.

Before I met my wife my credit was horrible. I had the money to pay bills but was not good at the "Small" detalis in life like remembering to pay bills every month.

I have been put on Wellbutrin 300 SR. So far I have seen some improvement. I started to feel very angry and anxious, so my Dr. put me on Lexapro as well. The Lexapro and Wellbutrin seem to work pretty well together.

Well thats my story. I have never really submitted posts before (1 or 2 times) and I thought it may be good to talk a little bit about my ADD. I have a problem with admitting to my Depression and ADD.

Z-ADD[/QUOTE]Hi Z ADD, welcome to the Tapestry! I trust you'll enjoy it, and already have contributed a great thread. I'm going to copy it over to ADHD spouses, b/c we've been discussing this issue.

Here's the link:

http://www.adhdnews.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=9363&P N=1

David’s ADHD

I think a part of me was always fighting taking medication because I felt it's somehow cheating, that I should be able to get things done if I just had enough self-will and determination. I *know*, intellectually, that my ADHD is real and biological, but emotionally...

When I first began taking medication for ADHD, I was overwhelmed by the amount of quietness in my head. It was extremely scarey and made me hesitant to do anything. For the first time in my life I could actually hear my own thoughts without interruption. It's difficult to explain but I will try to explain by an analogy. It was like sitting at a rail road crossing watching as the train goes by, trying to read the graffiti written on each car, wondering what’s in each car, how long is the train and how many cars are there, does the conductor like his job and I wonder how does he get back home? The train disappears in the distance, some horn blows, the lights green and I can't remember what my last thought was...:( Driving forward waiting on my mind to catch up! So I can get back to what I was supposed to be doing. I have become accustomed to the diverting traffic in my head, but now on medication the traffic has come to an immediate halt. But, because of my experience, I am afraid it might be a trick to get me in the middle of the road, where the train would come speeding down the track and kill me. With Adderall I have gained the ability to stay focused and trust that I’m not going to lose concentration and get hit and learned that it is safe... Not jump over cars, run to the other side of the road in the wrong direction or wait for another car to go by, so that I could make it to the next safety point.

I started looking into ADD a few months ago and said "this is just like me." It angers me sometimes that I wasn't helped a long time ago. I hated school, hated my job, never really had friends ( my way or no way), and my parents were so unaware of my problem. Of course, my self esteem lacks, because I was always told that I was lazy, a dreamer, always take the easy way out, overly sensitive, never finish anything, unapproachable, etc. The knowledge coupled with the medication has given me the freedom to be able to change. In essence, however, medication does not change one; there is still work to be done. I wish that it were like a magic wand because I struggle in many areas of coping with what some view as basics.

I have been doing a lot of reading on the internet, message boards and chat. Trying to gather as much information as possible on how to implement some necessary changes, adjust to the quietness and comparing medication dosing and reactions. There are many POTENTIAL risks involved with stimulants as with ANY medication. I don't want to be scared off from them just because of the horror stories I have read and heard. When I read of people taking 10mg a day and having bad side effects, it makes me think twice about asking for a dosage increase. Although there are far more success stories than failures. On October 3 I will be 40 years old, I was diagnosed a few months ago with ADHD. I am currently prescribed Adderall xr 30 mg/once daily. I'm 6'5'' and weigh 235lbs. I have been involved in starting my own business the last year. I wake up around 3:30/4:00a.m. go to the gym and out the door to work by 7:00/7:30a.m. Business moves at the speed of life, so I never know when I am going to have a long day or a really long day.

Within the past few weeks it has become easier to recognize when the medication is increasing my concentration and focus and when it is wearing off. Taking my medication as prescribed (1x30mg) the past three months I’ve experienced about 6 hrs of focus and concentration max before I start to hear the train coming. I have recently decided to try taking 60mg (2x30mg) on the weekend ( I finally feel like I had one and got a few things accomplished as well) spacing out the dosing 7hrs apart starting at 5/6 a.m. this worked really well for a minimum of 12 hrs and I’m still able to fall asleep at a decent hour. Monday through Friday I have either skipped a day or taken a total of 60mg (2x30mg) 6hrs apart. More often than not my business requires me to work late physically and mentally. First I tried taking my dose later in the day, but that’s like putting out a forest fire with a squirt gun, might as well let it burn its self out. So, I have realized that taking one 30mg is just not enough for the entire day. I feel worse in the afternoon (around 1p.m./2p.m.) than if I didn’t take any medication at all (falling back on caffeine).

I've had a really good few months: clarity, depression better (because I can think better), less squirming, better concentration, etc. Not a single bad effect, and I have had no adverse effects from the med. In fact, in my opinion I'm calmer, sleep better, coffee consumption reduced dramatically, my appetite is fine ( not taking Zantac on a daily basis) and certainly not having any negative effects on my sex life ( because we get along better). I exercise (cardio and weights) almost every day. My personal relationships as well as social have improved dramatically. When I hear of these horror stories people tell about Adderall it leaves me to believe that they must not suffer from the same thing I have for the last 40yrs. The medication creates an instant quietness in my head which has given me the ability to attempt to change many of my ingrained coping with ADHD mechanisms... I realize the medication is not magic. Yet, it is so much better than it ever was prior to the medication. Now I know, I have spent most of my life unaware of my behavior, and these behaviors have greatly impacted the quality of my life and the lives of those around me. For example my poor time management, confusion, interrupting others, poor study skills and even overeating have fostered low self-esteem and ill with others.

When it comes down to it, I personally believe that every individual should weigh their options and choose what's best for them. For me, it is to take Adderall. Yes, there are many potential side effects from it, but you only get one chance at life, and for me, I would rather spend my life at least somewhat "put-together."

Quite frankly, every drug has its dangers and side effects....it's a matter of what works for a particular person.

I'm finally being treated and I'm looking forward to a better and successful life ;)

David Mauller

Sunday, August 21, 2005

It's just too cool to hear how much meds can help someone.  Thanks for sharing your experience.  I suspect that sexual side effects would have affected me more as well, but like you said:  The communication's better/I'm "better" thus the relationship is better and that results in a much happier Mister.  Congratulations! Keep posting . . .

Hi  My name is Heather and I'm new to adhd. They think my dd is adhd. But I can't find any one to help me. She is 5 and i'm not sure what to do could some one help me ???         &nb sp;