Tell your ADHD story

Hopefull Mother and Mahem

you have just summed up my boys school life to a tee. He happens to be the oldest but the smallest in his class. He dosn't put up with anyone being a bully and watch out if you hurt his older sister. he hasn't hurt anyone, his way is to embarrass them so much they back off they don't know if he will or not so they leave him be.

Hopefull mother I do know what you mean about them being MORE and I agree.

hello,  I am glad you are doing well on the adderall.  I did hear that it can cause depression at some other things.  I don't know what to do in regards to my 10 year old daughter.  She is extremly bright but is struggling. 

Stay

-Stay...

I canunderstand your daughter's troubles at school. I myself had them, as do my younger siblings. I remember BEGGING my mother to home school me. I knwo it's isnt' always an option for parents, but it might be soemthing to look into. You know your daughter's needs best, and can be her best teacher.

My mom did this with my little sister who was being so tormented at school by other children because of her learning disablilities that she litterally started pulling out her eyebrows as a nervouse habit, which of course only made things worse.

Antoher option would be to talk with the school's principal, or event he school board if need be and try and get your daughter's class assignment change. As a drastic measure if nothing will be odne for her in that school, look at the other schools int he district. It may be more of a drive to get her there, but could pay off big in the long run. My mom did this with me all through elementary school.

I was a "chatty cathy" in school too which got me in trouble with the teachers alot... then they found out i had an IQ of nearly 140. Teachers often jsut want kids to conform and sit still and listen. Us ADDers, jsut dont work like that and they need to realize this.

Good luck! :)

thank you for your hart warming ppost. 

Hank

Mayhem,

I really feel for you man.  I spent my childhood sort of like you only I was not spanked in school.  My grandfather use to SPANK ME TOO.  Sometimes it was with his cane.  As for school I think if I had been a boy it would have been different but I got away with things because I was a girl.  I never fought girls but spent most of my childhood beating up boys.  In first grade I got hit by a car BECAUSE I RAN ACROSS ROADS WITHOUT LOOKING!  Anyone surprised about that?  Well I had a cast on that went across my right side of my shoulder over my chest and around my waist.  As soon as I was able to go back to school I made fun of the class bully until he hit me.   I maneuvered my chest so he hit the cast and then hit him back.  He was so mad he couldn't judge his punches so I just kept hitting him in the face and moving my chest so he kept hitting my cast.  He moved away the next year.  As a matter of fact I know of at least 3 boys who moved away after I started taking care of them.  They would all bully the girls and the smaller boys so they were not nice but they all moved.  I GUESS I AM A BULLIES BULLY.  I know if I had been a boy I would have ended up in reform school or something. I keep expecting one of them to try to get me on the Jerry Springer show for ruining their life.   My little brother told me that when he wanted to beat up a boy but had been told that he would be suspended if he did he would tell them to ask me out and I would beat them up for making fun of me.  He used my predilection against his enemies. 

now you know why I say Jasmine is so much nicer than I.  She hasn't really hit anyone since Kindergarten. 

Hopefull Mother Thanks.

I have to admit I had a chuckle over your story. I was lucky because I had someone like you of sorts to watch my back. He was my older brother who was ADHD as well and notoriously brutal with his fists. Like you he had this sense of justice that didn't like to see the weak getting beat up. When he was around I was safe.

They say what goes around comes around.  I hope someone is taking good care of you now.

Thanks for your kind words and I wish you well.

Oh my gosh.  I praise you for all you do for this child.  He needs love and patience.  I would never call my child those things that woman did.  Awfull.  Sometimes kids are treated so poorly that this happens.  Shame on that woman. 

I am happy to say how proud I am of my daughter.  I have been vounteering at her school, going to her school trip and making sure she has all her work when she goes home.  She is very intellegent but has inattention adhd.  This week her work came home and she got A+'s and B's on her Reading comp test and Math test.  She also spent over 4 hours working on her book report on Thursday night and when I asked the teacher how she did, she said she did very well.  She went to bed at 12:00 am that night.  I told my daughter I was very proud of her and keep up the great work!  But ater school when I went to pick her up, she forgot her band instument that day and there was band class on that day.  She was having words with some of the girls because she said they were being mean to her.  The teacher said she only got the tail end of it.  These girls are in the 6th grade class, they have 5th, 6th and 4th together at beginner band.  It just hurts that she does get singled out for some reason and that she sticks up for herself and then gets into trouble because of what she (my daugheter)says.  When I asked her what she said she only said "Loser" which isn't nice but the teacher said the girls said she used horrible bad words.  When I asked her what else was said She coudln't remember.  When she gets angry she goes off and can't remember everything she says.  I wish I could help her not react this way.  She has been told to just say I wish you would stop or I will go to the teacher.  But she will not do this.  She said she doesn't want to tell, because then she will be made out to be the bad guy even more.  I said, well to them you look that way.  She won't do it.  She said I get into trouble no matter what I say or do.  When I use to tell the teacher or duty she said they still blamed me.  How can it be only her?  She tells me these girls especially this one is like that mean girl in the movie "Mean Girls".  And my daughter resembles and dresses just like this girl.  I don't get it.  What do I do come Monday?  What do I tell the teacher and what can I do to help my daughter?  Any suggestions are welcome.  Thank you.

Stay

Chojones,  Hi I appreciate your input.  It' so hard for me to hear and see her struggling like that.  She isn't intimidated, but these girls are the ones other girls look up to.  I don't think she looks up to them though.  I just am so sick of hearing how she keeps getting blamed for stuff.  I do believe in fighting your own battles, however this school does show favorites and it sickens me when the dutys (who happen to be parents of kids at the school) step in and tell on kids.  It's rediculous.  You are suppose to leave the kids alone.  But they do things there own way.  When I was in school I never heard of anything like this.  From what I hear it's everywhere in all schools.  Parents get involved in the supidist little kid things.  And I am a protective parent myself but I know when to step in and not.  If a kid is really physically hurting my child, I would have to step in.  But these are just words.  I am so sick of this school, and the principal is a hipocrat.  I understand where you are coming from though, but in todays world these right wing (hipocritacal) parents run the school!

Stay

I didn't make much sense after I send the email.  I just get so upset it isn't funny.  I just want the school to leave my daughter alone.  Stop blaming her for everything.  She is her own person, who is not a trouble maker, she isn't perfect and will react when provoked.  I know if I go to the school board, this won't help only make things worse on my daugher.  I think she is handling it well, but the teacher gets this stressed out look on her face when kids come to her about my daughter.  I am so sick of this feeling.  It cannot be just her.  She is there scapegoat and my daughter is not like the other kids who are robots and are afraid to be there own person.  I was the same way.  But I didn't have adhd.  Which makes it harder on my child.  It's frustrating.  Every time I leave it alone she gets blamed for something else.  There is a school play next week, and she won't be in it because the boys were mean to my daughter and she pushed one of them, she again got into trouble and the teacher said she can't be in the play.  this makes me mad but who cares it's not that great of a play anyway.  Right.  I just can't stand it anymore.

Stay

Hello Chjones,   I thinks you are right though about how to let kids fight there own battles.  Only when it gets carried away with hitting etc.. should step in.  But these kids are different in the way they don't wear there hearts on there sleeve the way my kid does.  They don't understand her.  I did tell the teacher yesterday that I felt she gets picked on.  My daughter does have to learn how to just say go away, and that is it.  Instead she chooses to say things that are bad words etc..  The teacher is more of a push over for the other kids in a lot of ways because the parents have had there kids in this same program from years earlier so I am just some outsider mom, they don't like me either.  I am quiet and keep to myself, It isn't a comfortable feeling, but I don't care, I only care about how my daughter is learning and how I can help her.  This is very hard to watch.  She gets tired and moody herself.  Kids are constantly telling her to stay still in her seat when she figits, and stop flipping your hair etc...  its rediculous.  The teacher has no exuse me ,balls!  It's hard being surrounded by such right wing etc...  I don't like it.  But in the real world these kids are going to come accross others who are not going to be like them and they won't be able to cry to mommy or daddy, then what are they going to do.  My daughter will be fine and stand up for herself and will be respected in the longrun.  I grew up in a very well respected neighborhood and I feel was better than this one.  These parents have an ora about them that they are better than everyone, it is sickening.  

Stay 

Stay

How embarresing, I thinks you are right.  I must be loosing my mind.

Stay

oh and I am loosing my mind? what's that?  I think I am though.  thanks for your time in chatting.  I do appreciate it.

Stay

So many of the stories that I have read seem so familiar, but I haven't seen any posting on issues regarding the PARENTS' role in working with an ADHD child.

Briefly our story is this...my son is now 7 and was diagnosed with ADHD a little more than a year ago. By the time he was 3, everyone noticed that he was different - already 'walking on the ceiling' as we all know. He exhibited classic symptoms of inattentiveness, defiance and inability to stay focussed for any length of time for everything from eating to bathing to sitting in a grocery cart. Obviously far beyond the appropriate behavior of his age.

My husband's way of dealing with this is 'he will grow out of it'. Now my husband is a loving attentive father, but rather than face the issue straight on and consider what is best for the child he has maintained this attitude until recently (after he saw the wonderful changes that occurred when my son went on medicine). Although he now sees the need for his medication and the good that they do, he still doesn't follow through with the necessary behavior modification that my son needs to assist in his dealing with this lifelong condition.

To my husband's credit, he is consciously attempting to reverse the neglect of his own father (another issue, another day), but to spoil and give in to my son is actually doing him harm. I see that the plans I have created with his doctor and therapist have helped when we stick to them and I am the main caregiver (I take him to the doctor, I administer the medicine, I discipline him, etc.)

If you have a child with ADHD, just between you and me - they are not only clever and resourceful, but probably smarter than most people you know, including us!  What happens is that he wears my husband down and I have to be the strong one and stick to the plan. This is a daily routine. But what choice to I have? My son is such a wonderful, sweet, affectionate, smart boy who deserves a real chance at a bright future as a contributing member of society. Yes, the stakes are that high!!!

What I need is some practical advice from those who have experienced the same difficulties at home. I wish that my husband would consider therapy, but that is out of the question.

I have read so many insightful posting that have helped me in the past, please respond as I am lost for any answers.

Stay, thanks for the kind words. My stepsons mom is no mom at all. She cant deal with a child who is ADHD. She dont have the patience. (How do I know this, he was coming here every weekend and he had bruises all over him. CPS done nothing and so did the police)  When he misbehaves with her, she loses her temper and takes it out on him. She would call, at that time she "thought" I was her new found buddy, but I only tolerated her for my stepsons sake. She would call and complain "about the hard day she had with him". I told her, and it made her upset, that he didnt act that way here. He is hyperactive when he gets bored. So when he was here, I made sure he done something to occupy his mind and hands. He would work puzzles and he would sit and try to fit them together. (the little 50, 75 or 100 piece puzzles). He was so overjoyed when he finished them and he would ask if we could out and buy another one. He is a smart kid. She dont have him to do his homework, she does it for him and then when he has a test, he fails it. He told the teacher his mom does his homework. She then turns it around and says he "has been diagnosed as a habitual liar". To me, he learned it from her.

Stay, my youngest son who is 12 and my oldest is 16. Neither one of them are Add/ADHD. But my youngest had a very severe speech problem. He had a high palate and velo-pharyneal diffiency. (In other words, his uvula was to short and to weak to stop the sounds from coming thru his nose.) When there was a new kid in his class, they would make fun of him. He came home from school and told me the teacher needed to see me tomorrow. So I took him to school and met with his teacher and principal. They told me that my son instigated a verbal fight with the new kid and he hurt his feelings. I asked my son what happened and he told us the new kid was making fun of his speech and the other kids heard the new kid. So when the kids came in the room from breakfast, the teacher asked the kids what happened. The kids told them what happened. The teacher and principal apologized to me. I told them they owed my son the apology, not me. I also told them that the new kid owed him and the entire class one for involving them. I told my son when this happens, to say to the other kid who starts trouble, "You are just jealous because Im special." This has been going on since my we moved to another county in WV. This started when my son was in kindergarten. He is now in the 6th. (He got held back in kindergarted because of his speech. This was before he has successful surgery) He can almost now talk with no impediment.  So every year, a new kid has come and done the same thing. Well, the new kid that first started the fight, is now my sons best friend.

I know this about my son had nothing to do with add/adhd, but I felt the need to tell his story about putting up with bullies. He is skinny for his age. Most kids his age are atleast 10 to 20 lbs heavier than him. My new husband is in karate and my son decided to try it too. My husband wont let kids pick on the other kids. There are add/adhd kids in karate and it seems to help them get out the built up energy and they have to concentrate on their "kata's" (their steps to go up in belt color). I hope his story helps your daughter in some way.

I don't remember if I have posted on this thread or not, so forgive me if I have.

I found out I had ADD when I was 40.  It explained so many things in my life.  I was finally able to forgive myself for the crazy things I do in my life.

I tried Adderall and it was the difference of putting on your glasses for the first time.  I could finally "see" what I had been missing.

Adderal wore off and I had to have  higher dose.  I tried herb when the side effects from the higher dose of Adderal bothered me too much.  I also tried Concerta, but that made me depressed. I was about to go back to my dr and ask for more Adderal and just put up with the dry mouth, etc. Then something cool happened.

I found a book at Barnes and Noble and have been doing the exercises in this book.  It is called Stopping ADHD by O'dell and Cook.

I have found the results to be better than medication in so many ways.  And the results are staying with me. 

I have written all about it in a post in the alternative and complementary section of this board.  It is called "crawler's unite."  It is worth checking into for yourself and for your child.  It costs only the amount of the book.  All the exercises are in the book.  It has been truly amazing to me.  I hope it can help others too.

hello, I am involved in a program Called " the Natured Heart Approach" By Howard Glasser.  It is all about positive reinforcement etc.. No negative what so ever.  Praise for everything.  I have watched his 6 hour speach on the Natured Heart Approach.  It is truly amazing, it does work for my daughter, however the teachers have there own ways of dealing with things, I feel don't help her.  In my eyes the teacher is far to negative and this is detrimental on my daughter.  She does praise from time to time but still, she has this attitude of "Not good enough"  which is not good for children like mine.  My daughter did however do great on her book report and two tests she took last week.  Math and a reading comp test.  I praised her and took her out to her favorite store.  She won't let herself get bullied and gets in trouble with her mouthing off.  It's hard really hard on me, I am in that class once or twic a week helping.  I just encourage her to do the best she can and not make any negative remarks.

Stay

Becca,

I am so glad that you have found the answer for your son.  My dd has been diagnosed since she was 6.  I really wanted to have her diagnosed earlier but the doctors around here wouldn't at that early an age.  I could have diagnosed her at 4 months.  SHE WAS USING ROLLING AS A WAY TO GET INTO THINGS.   She turned over at two weeks because she couldn't see on her tummy.  She has always been just MORE if you know what I mean. 

Stay,

My dd has a friend she is not allowed to sit with in class because they can't stop talking but the teacher doesn't keep them apart any other time.  That  whole situation just doesn't make any sense.  I hope you are able to get it fixed.  I really want to put a bug on Jas sometimes when I hear about the things that girl I wrote about earlier says.   I need some really good spy gear. 

Nicollyne & Direct Drive,

I am very proud of you both for being who you are.  I am a mother of an adhd child, who is very intellegent and very pretty.  You both seem like very intellegent people who have gone through life unfairly.  I think, there should be more support in the school system for future adhd or other disabled children.  My husband went through hell when he was younger.  He too is very smart, but because of his impusivities etc.. They put him in special ed.  The school told his mother either you put him on medication or he goes to special ed.  (even though he had a very high IQ.)  It just isn't right. 

I go to my daughters school every day at lunch.  When I am there the kids are super nice.  She is a non conformist but so what.  I will cry if I talk any more about it.  But I think I am making everyone who works there nervous at her school.  Good!!!  I don't say a word to anyone but my daughter. I will fight for her until the day I die.

Keep being you and don't worry about what anyone else thinks.

Stay

Please excuse this tome but I need to unload as the last couple of days have left me feely a little giddy. Two days ago my 11 yr old son was assessed and diagnosed with adhd. We were always aware of the troubles he’s had at school and home but the scare around the medications to treat it left us believing that toughing it out was the best course of action. I now completely regret that decision.

            The assessment process for my son was an emotional roller coaster ride for me and I found myself several times having to fight back tears. Stupidly it never occurred to me that I would be asked questions about myself but when I found myself uttering the words “I was just the same when I was young” it was as if the light got switched on. It never occurred to me that I may have ADHD.

             The revelation has left me feeling completely confused. I feel joy and relief because I know my son is now in the good hands of trained professionals and from now on something positive will be done for him. But rather selfishly however, it’s as if I’ve picked a scab and the sore is still festering beneath the surface. I guess on some level I feel a little ripped off.

It was far more brutal when I entered school in the late 60’s and excuse me if I indulge but I need to get this off my chest. My early years of school placed me in the care of teachers who would strap and cane me regularly. That was bad enough but they also seemed to enjoy making a public spectacle of me by hauling me in front of the class and ridiculing me. A teacher once got another student to hit me which he did by slapping me across the face hard(the rest of the class found this highly amusing). Another teacher took great pleasure in refusing my requests to visit the toilet and would wait and watch as I writhed in me seat until I wet my pants. This carried on daily until my mother had to visit the teacher.

             A change of school brought more punishment and among the standard canings and straps, resulted in one teacher fracturing my jaw and in another incident a teacher struck me across the face cutting my lip. Both incidences were swept under the carpet.

Though these incidences were traumatic enough they pale in comparison to the treatment I received from my classmates. Even today I feel anxious as I recall some of the stupid things I did that would attract the jeers, taunts and occasionally beatings from others in the schoolyard. Sometimes it seemed everyone in the schoolyard would join in.

Sadly, returning home at the end of the school day provided no relief either. My mother had a vicious temper and had herself acquired a thick leather strap that she would use almost daily.  My mother was never too worried where the strap landed during her more frenzied attacks. The relationship between mum and dad soured soon after the marriage began, however, they battled on for almost a decade finally deciding to call it quits when I was about eight. The marriage was tempestuous and arguments and physical stand offs between them were also a daily occurrence. It was a very acrimonious divorce.

In my late teens I discovered alcohol and drugs and found a level of acceptance among peers within these circles. I was raised a Latter Day Saint (Mormon)  however the relief I obtained from using drugs far outweighed any guilt I may have felt in using them.

After a decade of drug abuse I decided to clean up my act and married at the age of 26. Five beautiful children later all seemed great until our marriage hit a rough patch and I began to dabble in drugs again managing to hide it from my family. Ironically Ritalin became my drug of choice. The real irony however, is that the Ritalin came from my younger brother. My brother and his daughter were diagnosed with ADHD a few years earlier, a fact at the time I used to hotly dispute with him, blaming his problems on our tumultuous and troubled upbringing. Later I would justify ripping off his Ritalin in my own mind, by deciding I was doing his daughter a favour protecting her from harmful stimulants. Before long I was injecting ludicrous amounts of Ritalin daily. Such a habit can’t remain hidden forever and before long it was soon discovered almost tearing my family apart.

My adult life has been marred by serious bouts of depression, anxiety and panic attacks. Today I have my addiction under control, and have managed to over come much of my anxiety though not all. I still suffer from the odd panic attack but they are generally minor and short lasting. Most annoying at present is a constant urge to move my legs and mash my toes into the ground or anything hard. I drive my wife crazy at nights mashing my toes into the bed rest but I simply can’t seem to stop.

I guess my past addiction (and one could justifiably argue present addiction) rules me out of taking any effective medications, however, would be keen to hear your thoughts. For the most part I may have developed the coping strategy’s over time to deal with much of the problems adhd causes. I have my faith which keeps me strong but am ever aware of my weaknesses which seem to hang over me like a dark cloud.

Hi Mayhem:

What school system did you go through!

How horific!

Strattera is not a stimulant drug like ritalin and is sometimes very effective in treating both adults and children, though the effects are slower to appear, taking 4-6 weeks I believe after ramping up to the target dose which is weight dependent.

Have you considered therapy such as counseling?  I know I am a bit younger than you (I was born in 1961) but I too was physically abused by both parents as a child, and frequently went to school with "belt bruises" all up and down my legs.  Mandated reporting was not around then (or not enforced?) but my parents were never chastised by any teacher or authority figure for the 'spankings'. I know that therapy helped me tremendously, and I did not have the ADHD to add to the mix.  My therapy helped me to be an effective parent without resorting to beating my children, which was all that I knew (not to imply that you beat your children).

It is well known that therapy + meds is the best treatment for ADHD, so the therapy alone can't hurt if you cannot find an effective med.

Goos luck to you and your family and welcome to the board....you will find it a wealth of information.

Hi And thanks for your kind words. Wow quick replies I'm blown away. Iv'e never posted on any forums for that matter but the last few days has been quite big for me. I was born and live in New Zealand. Corporal punishment in schools has long been outlawed.

Your a couple of years older than I chasemom. I began school in 68. Admittedly they didn't strap 5 year olds but seven wasn't out of bounds as I recall. I have had counseling but didn't really enjoy the experience. I have never heard of strattera but will be sure to look it up now.

Thanks again for the support. It truly means a lot.

Hi,

For as long as I can remember I've battled with issues of attention issues or remembering things or trying to control my mind from wandering long enough to learn something. I've felt depressed and lonely, like I could never measure up to the rest of the world. My mother would not listen to the specialists who said ADD and ADHD exist she insisted that I was just bad behaviored. I barely finished high school. I started college but didnt finish and I started a military career that I didnt finish,and I started dozens of jobs that I quit after 4-6 months. Relationships have always been horrible for me, the women would complain that I was childish or too emotional so I never really found a woman that I could love. Until 3 years ago my life never made sense, I could never picture myself doing anything, I just zombied my way through life. Three years ago I met woman who understands me better than anyone else ever had, she could relate to me so well. After 3 years of being together though things started to get diffucult for our relationship. I would find myself being told over and over again to do things. I would be in a conversation and not remember things that I said or think that I hadnt said this or that. Later it would be brought to my attention that I had said it. I would be constantly getting angery and not being able to stop yelling or loosing my temper with he stupidest things, I always feel like my brain only knows what happens after I have already done or said it. I recently started seeing a psychologist, which recommended me to a psychiatrist and now I am taking strattera to help with me ADHD tendencies. I now feverishly study ADHD and am new to the world of me actually having a mental disorder. But the more I research the more I feel like all the characteristics of ADHD I have always had. I feel like I was mislead into believing that I am "normal" like everyone else. I have very unique issues that plague me. I feel the need to reach out and find other people in this world that I can relate to and share my struggles with. I now have been on strattera for about a month or so, and I can now see what I am doing. I am seeing what others have seen in me for my whole life. I just found this message board yesterday and read though most of it. I learned alot thank you all for listening to me.

 I'm 19 and got ADHD on my "dad's" side. Too bad it was the only thing he ever gave me. My mom got pregnant with me at 17-18. Dad cared too much about himself, so my mom divorced him. Dad would buy motorcycles instead of saving money for doctors bills, ect. Mom met my step-dad and we moved to Tennessee when I was little. I don't even remember. On top of the ADHD, I have a speech impediment. So pretty much through school, I was labeled everything in the book. I didn't hang out with the kids I wanted to (the preps because I'm a little preppy myself) because I was afraid when I got to talking and a stutter came out, they would laugh. I was alone alot in life. Mom and step-dad worked, so they didn't feel like taking to the mall or movies. We went every now and then though. Anyways, being alone I started to develop a "new" life (ADHD and being alone don't mix. lol) I started thinking I was a movie star/country singer/ what ever my mind thought up, I thought I was that person. When I wasn't doing that I was talking to myself in my head about anything: Something I should've said in a conversation. If i said it, would it be a different talk? And I think what that conversation would have been.

I've been wanting to stop for a long time, but, like I say, I was alone. But watching TV, going shopping, talking, as long as my mind was doing something constructive you would have never knew I had ADHD. I've never told anybody about this except one of my former co-workers, who is ADHD and bi-polar.

 I didn't know this was an ADHD side effect. I thought God was punishing me for something. But the girl said, "I thought the same thing to, but its the ADHD.

 So I'm trying to move on with my life, but easier said than done. I heard "Jesus, Take Wheel", and "Don't Forget To Remember Me" by Carrie Underwood and I just broke down in tears because I'd never thought my life would've turned out like it has. Both songs have special meanings. "Jesus, Take The Wheel": its a really powerfull song. God can show you the way and that's all I wanted. Got tired of being lost. I was lost for so long "being" other people that I didn't know ME anymore. "Don't Forget To Remember Me" is also powerful because The year it came out I was graduating high school and the chatacter in the song was to and it talked about life after. I feel like that song was made for me because at my 1st high school reunion, I want to walk in those doors and say I'm not who you thought I was, that was just a really messed up time in my life. This the real me. I wanted to say that without actually saying it. I wanted to be so big I couldn't stand it: football player, doctor, country singer. But God showed me my talent was writing. And that's what I hope to do because Lord knows I'm not cut out for anything else. lol. I have a plan now: Go to college next fall (while trying not to make this ADHD not so bad), major in english or whatever, become a best selling writter and marry the girl of my dreams. I know this wasn't the life God had in mind for me because I feel bad everytime I "slip" because my mind thinks I should be like this person or that person. If I didn't feel bad, I would probally still be doing it.

 Thanks for reading this long story. It feels good to get that off my chest.

 P.S. I was and still am on medicine- rittelin to adderall. But I can't tell a difference when I'm on or off it.

 I like to inspire people, and hopefully, I did that to some of you.

 God Bless

i am only 8 weeks into my diagnosis and have been changing doses (under dr order)as i feel out of it or too angry or hyper , there is no specific correct dosage that the doctors can hand out because we all have different reactions to various quantities.

when i asked my doctor if i should have benn trying different amounts of dosage he couldnt believe that i hadnt experimented with the dosage to try and get it right.

follow your instincts, nobody knows your kids better than you

regards

Hello, I have a 10 year old daughter who has adhd.  She is not on meds, as I use a different program for her.  Called the Natured heart approach.  All about positive feedback with no negativity at all.  I am at my wits end about her school.  There has a been a three way problem with my daughter her friend and the other little girl.  My duaghter always seems to get the finger pointed at her, so the teacher suggested not to have her down by the playground for a while.  this has been going on for weeks.  Now, she is talking to her friend again, and the other girl has a big problem with it.  My daughter and her friend tell me how at lunch after eating she was talking with her friend and went down to the playground.  According to the teacher she wasn't suppose to, and yelled at me after school.  (she has been doing so well prior to this).  My daughter tells me her teacher allows her to play down by the playground at snack, but to only play with certain children not including her friend and that she would think about having her go down at lunch.  Well, she got caught in the moment and wasn't sure if she can go down or not.  So she went down just talking with her friend. The other little girl cried got a whole bunch of people involved and just got into my duaghter business made my daughters friend feel bad and said my mom said I can't play with you if you play with lee (my daughter).  When I picked up my daughter the teacher was not understanding, acting very irrated (the other little girl who is not my daughters friend stands there with her hand on her hip listening to the teacher talk to me (as if she is the one in control) and I was made to feel horrible.  This is not right.  I am told by the phycologist not to go against the teacher, However I feel this teacher is a pushover for the other regular kids as my daughter has been doing so well and just wanted to talk to her friend. All that ever happend in the past were words exchanged, and my daughter always winds up the bad guy.  She does wear her heart on her sleeve. and that is what gets her in trouble.  Very pretty and I feel the teacher just drops these bomb shells when she should show some of these other children and parents who the boss is.  Meanwhile the little girl who cries over a drop of a dime and lies and manipulates gets away with it.  Her parents and sister come to school at times giving dirty nasty looks as I just ignore there imatuity.  I am made to feel uncomfortable on purpose I feel the way this is being handled is out right abuse.  I can't stand it anymore.  I am told to do nothing but go with the teachers rules and suggestions, but I just want to complain to the board. Any advise would be helpful.

Stay

Hi...I'm new here Well I have three teens 2 are adhd and 1 is add!! I don't have that much of a problem wit the add one....but the younger 2 are driving us  insane They constantly fight at home and at school and will not take their meds or want to see a therapist!! They are 14 and 16 now and we are at our wits end wit these 2!! Any advise?

Studying was always insanely hard for me in school. When i was young, i was intelligence tested and ranked off the charts, enough so they wanted to pass me ahead 2 grades. My mom wouldnt let them out of fear that it would hurt me socially. I was BORED, all the time. I couldnt focus, i started acting up. Instead of doing my homework, I would forge my teacher's and my moms signature back and forth. I Got horrible grades, and this was all through the 6th grade. Once i got into middle school, the teachers seemed to be more engaging and i became the "bronw noser" of the class because as long as there was discussion, i was excited. I liked learning, but come test time, forget it! I could not remember equations and memoriazation things to save my life! This went on all the way through High School. I was enver diagnosed, never even CONSIDERED for a diagnosis. I did well in High school because i knew how to "play" my teachers... more or less bargin with them to drop my non-existant homework grades, and keep my my ok test grades and my phenominal paper and project grades. I took the SATs and got a 1300 on the first try, and that was with forgetting my calculator...

Then came college. It was HELL. I could not get myself out of bed to go to class. Didn't matter when i scheduled my classes for, it just wasnt' happening. Again, hoemworks and readings were impossible, i couldnt sit still in class, I couldnt concentrate, but did amazing on projects. I even got a semester scholarship after a competition in our business program. I struggled with "self medicating" in the form of cocaine and my grades improved significantly. It's hard to see the downside to drugs when they are helping you. I stopped doing the coke and of course, couldnt concentrate at all again.

I started seeing a therapist my junior year of college and they diagnosed me with depression... one even said i was severely bipolar and wanted to put me on lithium... that is where i drew the line. It was not too long after that when i decided to seek a second opinion.

It wasn't until after i graduated college that i seriously considered that I might have ADHD. When I started reading about it, it just all made sense... The innability to sit still for any length of time, my complete boredom with everything around me in school, my total blonde "ditziness" that my mom would chastise me for... It was like a lightbulb jsut clicked.

I was diagnosed a year ago and have been living with it now for what i figure has been many more years than jsut this year. I have had numerous traffic accidents and plenty of personal failings, but am finally getting to a point where I can cope with it all.

I am on Adderall now. It's amazing to me to hear from other people like me... It helps to know I am not crazy and I am not alone. The Adderral makes me be ME. I get things done... not only do i have the great ideas, i execute them too and have been doing much better now. It's a daily process, and has taken alot of patience formt he people around me, but i know what it's like always wondering "why if i am so smart, do i feel so incapable."

So, yeah... Thank you all for not letting me feel out in the cold

What is it about bullies and ADHD-ers! They always seem to seek us out and try and make our lives miserable.

You sound like you are an exceptional individual, though. You probably have more goals now, right? Just treat this man as one more obstacle.

Remember bullies are looking for a reaction from their victims to boost their ego. If you don't give your boss one or if you react cheerfully and positively then he will move on to someone easier to feed off.

Remember too, an ADHDer adapts to change more easily than Linears do. Will your goals be better filled if you work somewhere else? If not, then focus back on the real picture.

Good luck.

Hi Bran. We ADHDers have very vivid imaginations. We often develop fantasies and retreat into them. This is because ours real world is often painful. It's built for "normals" and we all get marginalized to some extent. 

I really encourage you to go with your dream. It won't be easy but then again just living with ADHD isn't a walk in the park. If you are going to struggle - make sure it's doing something you want!

And don't be upset if you fail. It isn't baseball! There are no three strikes. You can go for it again and again and again.

ADHDers make excellent writers too! We have vivid imaginations and think outside the box. Heck! Sometimes we make out own box!

         For nearly 6 years I had been treated for bi-polar disorder, and had tried every known method available to my doctor, a psychiatrist in the Metro-Deroit aria.  After a barrage of medications, monthly trips to the Rehab 3 psychiatric ward in Wyandotte Hospital and two series of ECT-(Electro-Convulsive Therapy), suicide began to look like the best option for myself, and for those I had put through hell with my illness.  In six years, I went from;  "I don't want to lose everthing"...to... "I ain't got nothing to lose".

        On the day I had planned to sleep with the fishies, I was in my doctor's office.  I told him all my feelings except for the suicidal thoughts.  That kind of disclosure always led to the hospital, and after the ECT gig, I wasn't going there.  I told him I was tired all the time.  I couldn't focus mentaly on things, and forgetting things like orders at work.  He gave me a perscription for Adderall and said try this and let me know how you do.

        WOW!  I could not believe what was happening.  It was as though I had thrown a switch on it was so quick.  I was listening...even to my wife!  And whats more it was all registering.  I actually began to be motivated, finnishing projects I had abandoned and implimenting new ones with ease.

        One day several months ago, I began to question whether I needed to continue taking prozac for my supposed bi-polar condition.  While studying on the matter, I began to research on the internet where I found this forum, and learned for the first time the symptoms of ADHD and it was as if I were reading my own chart.  I took my findings to my doctor who just smiled and recomended I continue taking the prozac.  I left his office like a defiant school boy and within 4 weeks had weaned myself off prozac.

        Its been over 3 months now, and the only effects from stoping prozac have been improoved vision, much, MUCH improoved sexual functioning.

        So if you are being treated for ADHD and depression, it may be that ADHD was the reason for the other malady.  I do not recomend that anyone use my method of self-diagnoses.  I took a chance.  Looking back now, I think I would have done better to consult another doctor, because a person who treats his own afflictions has a moron for a doctor.  

[/QUOTE]

Wow, you just told my entire story (except I haven't tried the ADHD medicine yet. I know that I have ADHD. I just figured it out a few weeks ago. But I Have been treated for Bipolar for 6 years now, and nothing seems to work. So I always wondered if I even had bipolar. I mean if I had it, then why doesn't any of the medicine work? It will work for a very short while, then I am back to square one. I came upon an article about ADHD by accident, and then I lightbulb went off, and then I knew I had ADHD. So I also took my findings to my doctor's (Psychiatrist and therapist). And they said that even if I did have ADHD, that there really isn't a medicine that they can give me because I have a history of abusing things (mainly alcohol). So they have made me wait for weeks and go through dozens of tests, over and over. And still no medicine yet.

I want to tell them that would they rather me a abuse a drug that will help me, or abuse a drug or alcohol that will hurt me and my family? It's obvious that I am abusing alcohol, and stimulants as a means to "self medicate" myself to feel "somewhat" normal.

Right?

Mia

For nine years I have had a big problem with my son. he was throwing steak knives at people, physical violance, concerntration span of 5 minutes and sleep was all of an hour a day. The countless doctors that said there was nothing wrong or it was autisim or he was just naughty and I should try a smack. So I fully understand were you all are at. It took me to have a mental break down my self for someone to give him a proper going over. Now he is medicated and I am finally getting to know my lovely little boy. He told me he loves me for the first time last month.

What do you guys think? Other than I am nuts

Hello again,   I just dropped my daughter off from school.  Every time I do I can't stop worrying.  She hasn't been down by the playground (per teachers request) because the teachers know some of the other girls try to pick a fight with her, and my daughter will not take it and answer back.  This is what gets my child in trouble.  Some of the other  nicer girls keep asking the teacher when can my daughter go down and play with them.  It really bothers me.  As the teacher tells me none of the kids like my daugher.  I know for a fact that is not true.  I am told by the doctor not to go against the school, to work with them best I can.  Maybe a postive outcome will come of all of this.  But my gut wants to go to the school board and right a long detailed letter.  Letters don't go away.  But what good will it do my child.  Probably none.  She seems to be in good spirits, says she likes her teacher and does not feel like she is being punished.  All I can say is we do not live in a fair world.  And I want so bad to fight back.

Stay

This is austin1 and I am feeling pretty crazzy right now.  My son and I have been just trying to do spelling words and what a nightmare that is.  Anyway, it ended up with a fight with my husband ont he phone becasue he thinks that I am not doing it right, helping our son with his spelling words and that this is why he can't get them.  He does not understand that he can not stay focused long enough to get them.  I am afraid that this may end our marriage at some point.  He can not see that I am trying everything I can to help our son.  His problem is not my fault or our sons fault.  I am just at my wits end and dont know what to do anymore.

Hello, austin1,  I know it's tough, I went through and still going through it with my 10 year old daughter.  Problem is she is like my husband and I would be constantly watching two of the same person feeding off each other.  It's gotton a bit better, but still struggle with things.  You will get through it.  If your son doesn't finish it, let it alone.  I would talk to the teacher and see if you can come to an agreement on how his homework should be handled.  Maybe he can do it at school at certain times on the days he doesn't finish at home.  That's what my daughter does.  She gets a ton of homework a day, does most of it, but the rest she finishes at school.  I would talk to the teacher about your son though. 

It must be very difficult for you. We ADHDers tend to be very passionate about some things. We can get angry about the most minor thing. We also get very impatient when things don't go our way. If we are not careful, we act like jerks.

I am sure I am telling you nothing new. I guess the one point I can make is that sure husband cares a lot about your son. I am sure he sees the same qualities in your boy that he hates in himself. These are the qualities that caused him to suffer when he was the same age. It is a terrible thing for us that our children are going through the same thing. Perhaps you can broach the topic with him in a subtle way.

Maybe you can give your husband  a role in the process. I am not suggesting that he help your son with his spelling. That exercise would last about a minute! I am thinking more of a planning role. We do come up with good ideas. If he has ownership of an idea that may help him be more supportive and helpful.

Hi I~forget:

I guess a lot of us are new to this as well. I think it's great that you are getting yourself tested for ADD. If you have it then you know for sure what has been going on all your life. You are an ADDer living in a world that has been built for non-ADDers.

Most of us can empathize with you about the difficulty and pain we have experienced living with ADD.

If it turns out you have it though, then there is some really good information about how to work with it.

One really good place to start is to review the following article.

http://www.addresources.org/article_50_tips_adult_hallowell_ ratey.php?menu_off=true

It describes 50 things you can do that will help you move forwards. Personally, I found it to be an inspiration.

I have a couple of "rules" that I live by. I know that they are my rules and may not work for everybody - but here goes:

1. Never think of your ADD or your loved one's ADD as an "illness". Your brain is wired differently and you think differently. It only becomes a handicap when you try to live primarily in a linear fashion.

2. NEVER beat yourself up for your ADD traits. They are who you are.

3. Put together a list of the famous and remarkable people who have (or had) ADD. It confirms that ADD (when used properly) is a gift and not a handicap.

Good luck, I~forget. Treat your diagnosis as the start of a new and positive phaze in your life.

Hi- My son, who is 7 has just been diagnosed with ADHD.  I am not sure what to do next.  I have always known, without the actual eval, that he was ADHD, but it is causing a lot more problems for him this year in school and I can see that it is also affecting him emotionally too.  It is breaking my heart for him to think that he is "stupid."  He isn't, he is so bright it is almost scary. 

Anyway, the pshchologist feels that he would benefit by the use of medications.  I am almost convinced and am of the opinion that I would rather try it and see how it works for a while.  At this point, it can not hurt him at school at all because things are already so bad there.  The problem is my husband.  He is a truck driver and does not have to deal with everything on a daily basis and feels that he is just being a "boy."  He is dead set against him getting meds.  I don't know how to approach him about it yet and was even considering going behind his back and getting the meds without him knowing. 

I guess what I am looking for is some advice on how to approach him with this.  I want him to realize that our son can not help himself and the way that he is.  My husband feels that he needs to be disicplined more and he wouldn't be this way.  I feel like my husband is in such denial and is under the "not my son" delusion but it is his son and we need to do what is best for him.  Not what is best for us.  Anyway, any advice would be greatley appreciated. 

Hello, Hopeful mother and Austin1,

I am pretty new to this board as well.  I mentioned earlier about my 10 year old daughter.  I can't give advise but can tell you what I have been doing.   It kills me to see my daughter looked at so differently, but there isn't anything I can do about it.  I can only praise her and help her feel good about herself.  Not reacting to every little thing about how she goes about things, instead "see how well you did your homework"  etc..  Reacting to things only reinforces children with adhd to become defensive and even more frustrated.   So by being mad at them back and yelling or taking away will only make things worse.  So instead of taking away, just say your in time out (can only be for a few seconds) then praise them on how well they behaved.  It sounds hard, but once I got use to doing this I saw a tremendous change in my daughter over the summer.  The only problem now is, Yes, school.  She is one of the prettiest etc.  but other girls try to get her in trouble for anything, and it is not fair.  I just try to work with the teacher best I can, and I absolutly don't want her down by the playground right now.  The other girls in her class seem to try and bully, she will not let herself, and will retaliate with words the same as they, but only tell on her.  It is rediculous.  She had a great week last week at school, she did not go to the playground, instead finished up some of her work and will be helping out in a 4th grade teachers classroom at the time of recess.  I did not like it at first, but as long as she isn't around those girls she is okay.  I still worry because my daughter wears her heart on her sleeve as someone mentioned earlier.  Just be there for your child as best as you can and be positive.  I know it isn't easy, but try.  Also, my child isn't on meds.  I don't think they are safe, (not to tell anyone what to do) but this is my opinion, and there are other programs without medications that have been very promising for children with adhd. 

Stay

Good luck to you all

My daugther has had great resuls from concerta. I personally have had good results eating halibut oil capsules and garlic pills. Together they seem to do a marvelous job! (Some studies have shown that ADD people seem to need more of these oils to function properly).

Incidentally, my daughter saw a psychiatrist a couple of weeks ago. He told her he didn't know that much about ADD. Then he prescribed her prozac!

Hello again,  I just can't sleep, have been up all night worrying not sure what to do.  I shouldn't have to feel like this.  I just thought if anyone had any words of wisdom I would gladly listen.  I was feeling really good for my daughter and constantly telling her how proud I am of her.  Now this rediculous thing at school.  I feel terrible. 

Stay

Hullo to you all:

Here’s my story, for what it’s worth.

I just recently found out I had ADD. What a relief! I always thought I was lazy or a sicko or something!

At school and University I just scraped by. It seemed I never was able to perform to my “potential”. I was pressured by myself and those who meant something to me to live, think and work in a linear way. Of course I was unhappy and unsuccessful at everything I did.

Then, at 25, I lost another job. (I think this was job number four.) Anyway, I decided then and there that I didn’t have to think or live how others wanted me to. I knew I had potential and I knew I was smart. What I had to do was live and think and work in a way that worked for me. That was 26 years ago.

I have spent all that time working on myself. I have gotten a few biffs along the way. I haven’t had the most steady employment record. But things keep on getting better for me. I have been married for 22 years, have had my own business for the last 12. I have two kids. (One, my 18 year old has ADD. My other one hasn’t been diagnosed but suspects she has. That’s another story.)

The long and the short of it is that – after all this time – I have found out I have ADD. I am not “sick” or “lazy” or “immature” or “stupid”. After all, our brains are just wired differently to the brains of the people who have set the rules of how we “should” live, think and work. (I call those people “Linears” – is that wrong?)

hmmn... At Age Five I was diaganosed  with adhd...  though through the years i've been on Ritilen  though The raw form leaves me with a hard crash that will send me into fits of anger, rage. slow release was  so much better. But eventully that wore off at puberty... taken over by addearal at age 15. Again slow release and was eventully mixed with dexidriene... Unfortunately... As a side effect of this... After a two weeks of going psychotic, and insane. Walking and feeling like I was floating...    horrible stomach pains, solved by only drinking milk with the dexidrine... and nightterrors... delusions... I was finnaly taken off... I havn't touched any meds sense.

What I did... Was actully odd... I start sword fighting, I got into meditation, met up with a friend of mine who worked with chi energy and tichi martial arts  it helped...  A LOT  self disiplin is great when your in the mood for it... but i nearly have to force myself to be there... at certian times...

Though...  I' thinking about going back on meds  for concentration... I'm turning twenty one next month and could use it for school and work...  I havn't kept up on what new meds are out there...  I personally like my hyperness... Working twelve hour days... as a chef it comes in handy... Zipping back and forth through hundreds of orders a day. Though the sudden thought proccess drop of loosing concentration and wandering off. Really needs to go...

Other than Foculin, Concerta and Staterra what is there? I'm not touching adderal. Dexidreine or ritilen... Ritilin will make me lash out...  and my tempers gotten worse over the years... and the other two... I'm not going through that hell again...

Hi,

I am am mom of 4 and 3 with ADHD. All boys, one 12 and twin 9 year olds. They were diagnosed about 3 years ago. All boys were born premature by at least 3 months. It is very crazy in this house when they do not take their meds. There is no calming them down. The only thing that stops the twins is PS2, but I refuse to let them play too long. I am constantly dealing with teachers and homework. And the hard part is that I have to actually work full time to feed them. It is very hard to get notes from teachers that they are taking too long to finish and assignment when ther are testing at 6th grade level. Having 3 with ADHD is very frustrating and tiring. I feel guilty when I punish or yell, but sometimes I just can't help myself. I have been trying to find legal forms to ensure that my children are getting what they deserve in school, because the teachers are so overwelmed with too many kids and either don't care or don't have the time to help them with the needs they have.

So that's the basics to my Mommy ADHD life.

(I don't know why this is posting on the parenting board - can someone move it?)  Thanks!

I'm newly diagnosed.  Although I've known that something has been wrong with me since childhood.  As I matured, all I heard from many Doctors that it was strictly hormonal.  Atleast now I have proof that it isn't as I have recently had a hystrectomy and am taking HRT.  My hormones are balanced out and the problems still exist.

I've always known something was wrong with me.  However, my family just told me that I was just being lazy and just didn't focus enough. Boy, if they could only get in my head for a day they would know what I go through.  In my adulthood now I still exibit the very same behaviors from childhood.  I have a very short attention span, start many projects without following through, cannot keep up with my bills or my finances - (I pay them, but they are scattered about), can't maintain new friendships because I can't keep up with calling people (I have friends that have been life long friends because they know my ways), I'm easily distracted, very disorganized and I have a real problem with authority. 

I recently started seeing a new MD and I talked with him right before my surgery and told him that I felt as if I was going crazy.  I explained my symptoms to him and he said that he thought I had ADD.  He didn't want me to start on meds until after my surgery because he didn't want any interaction with the other meds that I would be taking.  Friday, I went to go see him and he started me on concerta.  I took it the first day and had a rough time sleeping that night off of it.  I took my second dose on sunday and slept so much better.  I am now on my third dose and I can tell such a difference. 

This weekend has been great.  I've finished some projects I started.  Got all my bills together and made out a new schedule in paying them.  Balanced my checkbook for the first time in awhile.  Cleaned my house from start to finish without getting distracted.  Played with my children for awhile without worrying about what needed to be done.  And just today, I've finished one major project here at work that has been lingering for a few weeks now.

I'm amazed and sad at the same time.  I'm amazed that someone finally realized what was wrong with me all this time.  I'm sad in away because I feel like I've lost out on so much not being able to give myself at 100 %.  I never graduated high school because I quit from frustration.  I did manage to go back and get my GED.  I never got to go to college because I had issue retaining knowledge because I couldn't focus like normal people. I know that the medications can only fix certain things so I have made an appointment with a behavior specialist to help me with these issues.

Now I just hope and pray that my children don't end up with this.  I feel that I inherited it from my mom's side of the family as my younger brother is ADHD and my mom has had ADD her whole life.  Both of my children do well in school and have no issues as far as behavior or attention problems go.  Guess we will just have to wait and see.

Congratulations on discovering that you have ADHD.

I suggest you read the following article.

http://www.addresources.org/article_50_tips_adult_hallowell_ ratey.php?menu_off=true

It discusses tips for dealing with your ADHD.

I found this inspirational.

There are number of good books regarding ADHD that I found helpful. I found "The DaVinci Method" especially helpful

Congratulations on discovering that you have ADHD.

I suggest you read the following article.

http://www.addresources.org/article_50_tips_adult_hallowell_ ratey.php?menu_off=true

It discusses tips for dealing with your ADHD.

I found this inspirational.

There are number of good books regarding ADHD that I found helpful. I found "The DaVinci Method" especially helpful

[/QUOTE]

Thanks!

Hi friends, my name is Jonna.  I am chasesmom79's adult daughter, who, as you may already know, has been diagnosed with ADD as an adult.  I am proud of my little brother's achievements, as I am the one who urged my mom to get him diagnosed.

I have been married for 7 years and we have three children ages 6, 4, and 2.

That's all I can think of for now (ADD brain) LOL

well the bloodline of the adders can extend to all lengths

the big problem i have had with my brother, sisters and parents is denial

just when i go on a crusade to FIX the family they put the barriers up

the hardest part for us is being intuitive enough to see the symptoms but not having the communication skills to get the point across softly

I had to really preach it to my mom for several months, if not a year or more to finally convince her to get my brother tested.   You may want to ask her what the defining moment was for her so you can begin there with your family members.

Best of luck!

Stay

I would think that a teachers job would be to TEACH the children ways to get along and coexist, NOT to in effect punish your daughter and restrict her access to the playground.  If, indeed , keeping them seperated is the only option (I can't see that happening with a compeotent school system), then I would think that the 2 girls should take turns not going to the playground, NOT just excluding one.  No playing favorites, not allowed!

I would definately go to the teacher and tell her one last time how you  feel, then if (when) that doesn't work, go over her head to the principal, school board, and so on.

This teacher is incompetent if she cannot teach these children some social skills!

If only I had a dollar for every time I have seen this.

The child has ADHD. The child is bullied by the other children for his or her ADHD. The child stands up for him or herself. The child suddenly is the Problem - not the Victim.

Let's face it. School teachers aren't necessarily teachers in the real sense of the word. They are people who have decided to make a living from working in the education system.

There are some good ones. Many of them resent and don't understand ADHDers because they represent more work for them.

Hello again,  This teacher also says my daughter made her look bad by talking to her friend at lunch time.  She said I have all these others coming to me telling me your talking to her.   My temper is going to flare.  I want to have a meeting quick.

S

That teacher is obviously unable to cope properly with the situation fairly.

I really have no time for these hacks. I had one or two of my own at school. My daughter has experienced a similar problem.

Get in there fast!  This is America!  She should be able to talk to who she wants to!  Why can't the other girl "make new friends?"  And why are they not teaching them ALL to be friends?

At my sons school, they have a system... it is called Panther Pride our mascot is a Panther...the children get a 'paw'  when they are seen displaying a positive character trait, such as respect, compassion, empathy, being helpful to others, etc.  If a teacher or the principal, or PLAYGROUND aide witnesses one of these traits (which are gone over  with the children at the beginning of each school year one per week) then they hand them a paw which the child can either enter into a weekly drawing to win a small prize, or save to cancel out a dicipline ticket.  This makes the children look for ways to be kind to each other, not hateful.

For instance, my son got one when he helped a physically disbled child carry his books to class, even though they weren't going to the same class.

ARGHH!!!!  I would really love to talk to this teacher! 

Be careful. You might make that teacher "look bad".

Oh well she IS!!!!

And I normally really give the teacher the benfit of the doubt.

So true....I guess that I am a little perturbed because I taught in a Head Start preschool, and it really only takes a little extra effort to teach the children social skills..a little modeling correct reactions...a little playacting situations....and they get it..

I agree...if a teacher does not love her/his 'customers' (the children) and want the best for them no matter their disability, or personality, then they should get another job...

My daughter got into an argument with her friend over a month ago.  My daughters friend was ignoring her (as she always does at band) and was making my daughter nuts.  So now my daughter stays away from the playground for a month.  Now this is over and her friend wants to talk to her at school.  This is making me nuts.   The teacher see's how my daughter's friend makes her highly distracted etc..  When she wasn't playing with her and talking to other kids she did much better paying attention etc.  However this was only suppose to be temporary not permanent.  At this point my daughter feels like this is a punishment and that she does not want to go to school anymore.  She tells me she hates the teacher for yelling and making she and her friend look bad in the class.  It is terrible.  I have to find a way to go about this in a calm manner.  This is not easy because the schools dutys are all parents and most of the parents kids are in my daughters class.  There is a lot of pointing the finger etc..  Yes, my daughter is not the easiest child to teach, but there are ways of handling situations without being so intense and overacting.  I have a letter I want to give, Not sure if it is good enough.  All I know is my child has rights.  I am sick of this.  She went in late today, you know what she said to the front office?  She said  " I am late today because I AM SAD ABOUT MY SCHOOL!!!!  Good for her for being honest.

Stay

Stay

The teachers are not there to teach only the easy students...they are there to teach ALL of the students.

I am studying to become a teacher and I thank God that I have these experiences to draw on.  I believe that it is going to make me a better, more understanding teacher in the long run. 

You need to post this thread in the "ADHD issues in school" section that is further down the list on this board.  There are things that you can do to aid your daughter in having a level playing field in school.  Legal things.  Things that will make the school system sit up and take notice and see that you and your child are not to be toyed with.

Just copy and paste all of the things that you have posted here into that section.  If you are unfamiliar with how to do that, just send me a private msg and I will do it for you.  (The 'pm' button at the bottom of each posted msg)

Maybe someone over there can point you in the right direction.

Good luck to you and your girl....

I am a 25 year old mother of 2. I have a 9 year old son and a 7 year old daughter. My son was diagnosed with ADHD when he was only 4 years old. At first, we thought that he was "just being a boy", but as time went on, he was more aggressive, and was harder to control. He was in daycare. I had to put him there when he was 6 weeks old, as I was a young, single mother. This was a huge help in the ADHD diagnosis because the teachers at the daycare knew him pretty well, and they observed how he was learning, compared to the other children the same age. This is something that most parents do not see. They usually act different for other people, anyway. They had noticed that he was smart, and had the ability to do things, but he was hard to keep content with one thing. (harder than most). When he moved up to the 3 year old classroom, he started flipping over tables and just really acting up. They had people come in and do testing with him (with my permission) for different things. We got the head start involved and I was referred to a hospital that is 2 hours away from here. There was not a doctor in my area that would even evaluate a child for ADHD until they are 6 years old. At that point, I HAD to something. I did not want him to go to kindergarten and get off to a bad start with learning. He was diagnosed with ADHD after an evaluation and they started him on medication. It took a little while to get him on the right medication and the right dose. He was then on Metadate for 3 years, once a day. Then we started noticing some problems with his attention span at school at the end of the day. Then they put him on the ritalin,  twice a day. That seemed to help, but now we cannot keep him under control at home. Once he gets home, it doesn't take long, and we notice that the medication is worn off. I do not want him to be constantly on medication, but I don't know what else to do. He cannot even concentrate on his homework long enough to get it done. Then we run into behavior problems because of his uncontrollable behavior. I don't want to sound like I am making excuses, but I need help. His grades are dropping and I don't like that. If anyone has any ideas, please let me know.

Hello,  I have a daughter who has been diagnosed with adhd.  She is 10 years old extremely bright, but has fucus issues.  I have been working hard with my child and I did NOT put her on medication.  There is a program called "The Nurtured Heart Approach".  This is a book written by Howard Glasser.  I saw his presentation through a family memember who happens to be a physcologist.  I will tell you it is incredible.  It is all about positive reinforment, as there are to be absolutly no negative feedback to the child.  It is a step by step process, it does help.  The problem I am having is how my daughter is being treated at her school.  She is a strong beautiful girl, who in others eyes takes too much time and the teacher does nothing but yell at her.  I am so sick of it.  The teacher is only worried about how she looks as there is something very wrong with this.  Long story.  My daughter started doing better a few weeks prior, until this teacher humilated and made her feel horrible for talking to her friend at lunch recess which the teacher does not want.   Now my daughter is sad about school and does not want to do anything.  After all the hard work we put into the teacher has to lose it and make her feel like this.  I would suggest reading this book only because I feel this will help not only your child but yourself.   It is the only thing that has helped my daughter at home and at school, but the teacher says it takes too much of her academic time. 

Stay

Hello, my 10 year old daughter has adhd.  Yes it can be tiring and frustrating.

She is in a good school, but the only problem is although she is extremely bright, it takes her longer to finish her assignments.  She is very pretty, but the other kids seem to look at her as an easy mark, she is not one to stand for harrasment and will retaliate with unkind words back.  Teacher seems a bit frustrated, this usually happens at recess, now they want to single her out and keep her from recess.  Is this fair?  I think not.  But what to do???  I was told by my physicologist to work with the school not against them.  But it really is against my better judgement.  There is one girl in the class that tries to play her (get her introuble etc.) who seems to be the one the other girls follow and my daughter will not follow or take any of her nonsense.  So now because she retaliates with unkind words just as the other girl does she is looked at as if she is the problem.  I am so sick of it.  What to do?

A mother who loves her daughter more than anything.

I wish I could help you. All I can say is that I for one went through exactly the same thing.

 My daughter was driven to retaliate by bullies in her school. Somehow it ended up that she was treated as the trouble-maker. The teacher involved seemed to find the whole thing a really big bother.

I guess one of the issues is that bullies are very good at covering their tracks. Kids who have ADD are much more likely to wear their heart on their sleeve.

Maybe we need a whole support group for ADD kids who are being bullied?

Hello,  Thank you for your response.  My daughter is no way shape or form afraid of the girls.  I just feel like the teacher is a bit selfish and doesn't want to deal with any problems on the playground.  I think the one girl is given toomuch power in the classroom.  I am just so sick of it.  My daughter is very strong but she is an easy mark.  I am just going to keep being positive toward my daughter.  Yes, these girls are very good at covering there tracks.  She says they say bad words, but when she says it they tell on her.  The teacher feels that they are using her as a scapgoat but the other kids parents have complained.  So rediculous.  I am so sick of it.

Stacey

They say there is no justice - just us. The fact of the matter is that you will not find much in the way of fair treatment from the teacher. Teachers often feel (rightly or wrongly) that they are underpaid and overworked and don't have the time to spend on the special needs of a single child.

The schools themselves often don't help, either. It's hard to do this when bullies can be so devious.

You won't find any support from the parents of the bullies. These individuals are often bullies themselves.

When our girl was first bullied for being different, we didn't know she had ADD. Once we found out, we could seek out the information that is available regarding ADD. There is free information available on the internet regarding ADHD and bullying. Look over that.

You actually have already made some positive steps. You have set up a dialogue wuth your child regarding the bullying. You are taking it seriously and you have invloved her school.

One last point - my daughter found it so helpful to come home to a loving and supportive environment. It sounds like your daughter has that as well.

Hello,  Thank you again for listening.  I feel that my daughter is never going to let anyone push her around, and when she reacts Inappropriatly (just words no physical) She is the only one to get in trouble.  The teacher knows this.  She fully admitted that my child is not the only one or the one who starts it.  Just that the teacher doesn't know what to do about it.  So my child has to stay away from the play ground.  She is a strong child, and I am proud of her just the way she is. 
But  Because she can handle herself, she is out to be the bad guy.  not fair.  I really wish she would listen to me and that I could home school her.   So far this week has been very good at school.  She has finished her work during recess, (as it takes her a little longer)  and has been doing fine.  But how long can she stay away from the playground.  I really don't want her down there neither does her teacher.  I told my daughter how proud I am of her and all weekend we will go and do whatever she wants. 

Stay

Hi,

I am writing you to tell you about an ADHD / ADD support group that is starting to thrive on a new website, http://www.DailyStrength.org.

ADHD / ADD Group: http://www.dailystrength.org/support/Mental_Health_Addiction /ADHD_ADD/

DailyStrength brings together people with similar life challenges to share their experiences, treatment information, stories and support each other through the hard times.  We have over 500 groups ranging from brain cancer to parenting a toddler and everything in between. 

Our ADHD / ADD Community is growing and we're excited to share it with everyone who has ADHD / ADD and who might benefit from an online support community. Please join! You really can help us shape the way this site works and what it offers. We're just getting started.

And please forward this email to anyone you know that has ADHD / ADD or would benefit from one of our other 500 communities.

Our online support groups are a great compliment to the real-world support groups you may be involved in now.  In the near future we are planning to offer support groups and other organizations great tools that will help them communicate with their members and stay organized.  And we have a host of other projects planned which will make our site much more useful and effective than it already is.

I work with DailyStrength, which was started by three partners who met at Yahoo!, where they worked to create some of the biggest online communities on the web. The founders of DailyStrength know how to make successful online communities that are safe and anonymous. We're really excited to offer http://www.DailyStrength.org to the world.

I would be eternally grateful if you'd come check out the site, let us know your thoughts, and share this resource with others who it might help.

I can be reached at Nicholas@DailyStrength.org with any thoughts your might have.

Thanks in advance for your time and feedback.

Warm Regards,

Nicholas Jarrett

I am also really sceptic towards the medicinal industry, so I havn't even gone to a doctor to get it diagnosed after I figured it might be ADHD.. as I figured I would just get thrown pills after, frying my brain even more.

I've heard of a lot of side effects but brain frying isn't one of them.  Doesn't sound like you've got much to lose given your brain doesn't seem to be helping you much as it is.

I've been on antidepressants for about 8 years and it was like someone switching a light on - I didn't realize I had been walking around with knots in my stomach until they were gone.  And I didn't realize how negatively I had been viewing the world until I could see it with clear eyes.

I lost my second husband to cancer a few years ago and one of the things I learned is that you only get one chance to live - that all the fears I had been using as excuses for not doing things were trivial because in the end I will either have done all that I wanted or not.  And no one will be there to blame but me. 

I think you want to get help and owe it to yourself to try to find out what life would be like with a clearer mind.  Just be sure and find a good doctor - one who specializes in ADHD.

Susan

ihi Javi,

Thanks for your post.  good luck at med school.  what do you think of the lhallowell books?

I am just getting started in neurotherapy w/ a mapping.  I think it is a poor mans SPECT SCAN ala doc Amen.  the ritalin is good but this offers the hoope of training the brain to do the same.  i am guessing it is only for a few of us. 

Hank

I agree with swinkin626

It wasn't until I was 32 that I started taking Zoloft.  I was negative and on a roller coaster of ups and downs. 

When I first started taking Zoloft I felt really spun out and different and I nearly gave up on meds.  Also, the stigma of taking anti-depressents doesn't help.

However, 10 years down the track I have cultivated a positive and happy lifestyle, I have a great husband and a smart active child.  I don't believe my life would have turned out like this if I wasn't taking my Zoloft. 

I believe ADHD runs in the family.  My father is 65 has been through 2 marriages and countless relationships which have all ended with disaster. 

Give the meds at least 6 months and see if you feel different. 

Royleena

Aloha Royleena Swinkin and all:  Ditto!! 

I was on zoloft for one year and it was good. but took a full two months to work.

Then I stopped for a few months for an unrelated reason.  back on now.  it again took two months for me to benefit.  I am converted from anti med to pro. 

 I ALSO do on-going therapy (co-counseling at no cost cept time and travel) and other helps to my ongoing health care program

Hank

we are with you piscess.  many have similar story.  gotta keep tryin'  personally, wellbutrin did not work for me and neither did ritilin.  i am still experimenting  BUT Zoloft at 200 mg. /day has keop serious depression and any sucidial thoughts away.  YEA

hank

Hello, I appreciate your two cents.  It makes sense that some of these meds can be addictive.  I am sorry for your having reactions like this.  I hope that you are doing well good. 

Stay

My 9 yr old stepson has been on Adderall, Concerta, Strattera, Ritilin, Risperdal, Focalin, Depakote, Clonidin, Keppra and Metadate. These are the ones I can remember. He was taking up to 7 pills a day. Last year, he was taking up to 830 mg of pills. He would have outbursts of anger because he didnt want to take them anymore. He told me they made him feel funny and that he didnt like the feeling. But yet, my husband and I had to give them to him. I didnt want to, but I had to. I have researched how some of these pills react and the damage they cause. He is ADHD, but she has told me that he is bipolar and schizophrenic. She has even told him that he had a brain tumor. That weekend, he asked me what it was. When I asked her about it, she denied it. How could a 6 yr old come up with that. (This happened 3 yrs ago.) I do think he needs the ADHD meds but not the others.

Does anybody know what, if any, damage this does to a child? Can his organs handle all these med's? Any input would be helpful.

Thanks John D and Stay for your responses:

Stay:  Just remember, there are laws that protect your child's access to education.  Don't let them bully you or badger you about your daughter OR make her just a discipline problem.  You are her ONLY advocate; it is one of the hardest things we have to do as parents is to find that balance between standing up for our kids when the world seems against them but at the same time, making sure they learn personal responsibility.  If you haven't already, research IDEA and 504 laws.  Schools don't offer this information up typically as it creates more paperwork, work, cost to provide the accomodations.  Good luck and sending warm vibes your way.  It is so scary and frustrating at the same time!  I have had my son on Attend the last 4 1/2 days.  It is a homeopathic mix of 70 different ingredients but it says it will take 30-45 days before I can really see any changes.  Who knows if it will help, but we will see.  Amazingly, a Red Bull in the morning the last 3 days has seemed to have helped (unless it really is the Attend too)....no Red Bull's on the weekend though to limit the caffeine. 

John D- You are playing to my heart strings as far as waiting to see what works and finding a good doctor.  It seems like every one I've talked to along this journey just makes me feel like a number and just want to push a med without digging deep enough into my son's condition.  How DO you find a good doctor that really cares? 

I have a family member with mental/neurological issues for whom I tried to help get answers to his bizarre deteriorating mental state (fully functioning adult one day has symptoms of dementia the next and only gets worse) and the constant cocktail mix of meds and pushing the meds was a real turn off to me when they never once, recommended we get him neurologically evaluated for his condition.  Only took our money, told us to make sure he ate well and took his meds.  It's hard to get beyond that ordeal I went through with him.  I am glad to hear it works well for you and others.  I am personally afraid I am cheating my son of a good thing with meds, but at the same time, I haven't come to grasp with what i saw my brother go through and I just couldn't live with myself if something bad happened to my son.  If that makes any sense.  I can make peace with the decision IF I feel like I have at least tried this for a few months with consistency, not just getting lax at the first sign of improvement.  I know the dice can only roll so far so much longer with him.  Now is the time to do something before junior high hits and new problems are compounded.

Thanks again for your words.  They do weigh on my mind. :-)

Hi. I'm new here.

I was first introduced to ADHD when I starting dating my husband. He had it but it wasn't extremely noticeable. To me he just seemed moody at times and wasn't doing very well in school. It was his brother that really showed me what ADHD was at it's fullest! That was one overactive/hyper child!!! He almost seemed to get worse every year. Even up until he was 21. Sadly, he died when he was shooting off a cannon! But I think it was all for the best. ADHD had such a hold on him and his life. (I hope that doesn't sound harsh, because I don't mean to be rude)

Anyway, my son was diagnosed with ADHD about the age of 5. He was also diagnoxed with dysthmia and possibly early onset bipolar disorder. He's been on probably every ADHD med out there. Currently he's on Strattera, zoloft and risperidal. He is 9 now. There are times when he's doing pretty good, but most of the time he struggles. He's behind in school. I want to get him back to see a physciatrist or whatever, but I'm afriad of having him miss any school to go to appointments.

He is constantly fighting with me about every little thing.... cleaning his room, doing his homework.. etc. I'm frustrated and I know he is as well.

He doesn't seem to know any limits. I try to teach him respect and how to act properly, but he just doesn't get it. I want him to be happy, I don't want to criticize him for being who he is. Of course at the same time, I want him to act appropriately.

He doesn't have any friends. He says they all pick on him, but the teacher says he provokes it.

He seems to love to say mean and hurtful things..

I don't know what to do or where to turn right now, so I'm starting here.

Thanks!

Hi Benji,  I am sorry to hear about your situation.  I want to help.  I am a mother of a very smart 10 year old daughter who is going through the same thing.  She does not let herself get bullied and reacts back by saying Loser etc.. I know this is inappropriate but I do realize she is only reacting to the nit picking that these kids do.  When someone is different they don't understand.  I have not put my daughter on Any meds, I don't trust it.  I do feel in her own way that she is improving, however in school, she has a hard to keeping up.  She is trying more and more.  This is all you can do.  There are so many opportunities for you.  Just because you are what I like to call "high energy" doesn't mean you are bad.  It just means you have a lot of drive and that is just you.  Ther are jobs out there, maybe not sitting at a desk or somthing that requires being quiet,  but there are Gym trainers, all types of sales positions etc.. who are absolutly high energy people.  I know you can do it.  My husband is the same way, he has had different jobs, but he did do well at all of them.  Just keep your head high. 

Stay

Chjones, You are so right about what you mentioned in regards to your cousin who has add.  Just because somone has ADD or ADHD does not make them useless.  My husband and my daughter feel that way sometimes, but I know differently.  I know they are creative intellegent people who can make a difference in our world.  Could you imagine if we lived in a world where everyone was the same?  What is normal anyway.  Be yourself, don't be someone your not. 

Stay

My stepson was diagnosed as being ADHD a few yrs ago. He has been on everything from concerta, strattera, ritilin, risperdal, clonindin, keppra, depakote. His mother has him believing he is bi-polar and schizophrenic. She said that he acts out when he is home and at school. She does not discipline him at all. He has total control of the home. At one point in time, she was calling me, his stepmom,  to come to her house after work to punish him. I would go, but all I did was talk to him. She didnt want to be "the bad guy". She wanted me to spank him and I told her no.  When he came to my house, he was very well behaved. We told him we had rules in the house and he was to follow them just like my 2 sons. At first, we were easy on him until he got use to being here and how he was to be punished. He would take and swing his arms, while we were in public, just so he could hit my boys in the testicles. For that, he got punished. He got mad but we explained to him what he did was wrong. He then replied, "Well, my mom told me too." That night when he was in the bed, I called her to explain what he said and she denied it. I talked to her friend, who called me when she got to her house, and told me that when I called and talked to her, she was laughing and said that she did tell him that.

This woman, in my mind and in my heart, is the one making this child this way. He will lie to you in a heartbeat and dont care. When he was going home that Sun, he tried to steal a cd of mine. So, his punishment for lying(he told me my 2 sons said he could take it home) and stealing was no PS2. When his daddy took it away for the weekend, he hit his father and bit me. When he went home that Sun, his mom beat him because he gave me a hug and kiss in front of her and told me he was sorry and he loved me. His arm and eye was bruised. So when he went to his behavior therapist that Mon, she acted like she never seen it. Then she filed abuse charges on my husband. She then dropped them after the Pros. Atty. told her if she was lying, she was going to jail.

To me, she hates me because he acts better here than he does at home. She hates me because me and him get along now. At first it was rough. But I gave him the attention he desired and showed him patience and understanding. She dont. She has also stated that he "is like he is" because of his daddy. She has called the child SOB, 4 eyed retarded looking bastard, how he was a mistake and she didnt want him. She has taken us to court so many times. We have a courtdate coming up. Now she is out in public stating that his daddy molested him but she isnt going to use this but she is "sitting on it until courtdate". Im sorry, if my sons father did that to them, Id have him hung then and there, I wouldnt wait 3 months down the road. She is claiming she has documents from doctors stating this. He is still on his pills. At one point in time, she was sleeping while the other girl got the other sister and the brother up and ready for school. Well, they gave him the wrong pills and it made him sick at school. Well, when the kids left, she got up and went out with her married boyfriend. They had to call the girls stepmom to come and get him.

Sorry this is so long, but thanks for letting me tell his story. I do believe he is ADHD but not bipolar and schizophrenic. She has him believing he is stupid. I know he isnt. He is only 9 and for the last 5 hrs since we started seeing him, he could tell me the make and model of any car/truck. It was V6 or 8. Even what year they came out with that car. He was doing that at 4 and 5yrs old. Now how in the world can a kid who can do that, be stupid. She makes him feel like he has no self respect or anything. He is a smart kid. Ive heard him read. He can quote a bible scripture and it will bring tears to your eyes. He loves going to church with us. Every Sun they ask us if we have any luck in getting him, and we tell them to keep praying for him. Thanks for listening.

Hi, I'm new here and first want to say thanks for having such a great site with such great information to share among others.

This is my first post (a venting, emotional release for me I suppose) so please bear with me and thanks for listening if you manage to make it to the end.  :-)

I am a mother of three.  A 16 yr old step son, a 10 yr old son and a 6 yr old daughter.

I have been a single mom to my two for most of their childhood.  I have always found juggling the job and parenting (to be the type of parent I strive to be) very difficult, but I do my best.  My daughter is currently being tested for gifted/talented as she is amazingly witty and complex in her thought processing and overall, type A and organized just like me (which is hard because of my son's struggles which I will get to next).  I don't want him to feel inferior to her accomplishments so I walk a very fragile line with both not to steal either of their thunder and make sure both feel special in their own way. 

My son, the 10 yr old has had struggles since he was very young and arguably, I have prayed and hoped and denied that there was a real problem to this point.  I find it interesting to read about the crawlers as he did not "crawl"; only pulled himself around like an army man and then shortly thereafter began pulling up and walking right before his 1st birthday.  Anyway, I always thought he was just being a typical boy when he seemed to be so full of energy and like an elephant in a china shop.  He fell frequently up til about 3 yrs old and in preschool, he really started showing signs of problems in his behavior.  He has always slept well and seemed to be a very happy, bright child so again, I chalked up the energy and short attention span to being a boy.  He has such a big heart so I tried very hard to look beyond his struggles.

He is a summer baby (born in July) and when it came time to start him in Kindergarten in the fall, I enrolled him without giving any thought (out of ignorance really) that he may be too immature socially and emotionally for that step.  It was in a very strict private school setting which ended up being very challenging for him to comply with the structure and rules.  By December, the teacher was telling me he should repeat Kindergarten.  He was behind in reading and writing and his discipline issues made her single him out because of the constant redirection he required.  Being the stubborn, "refuse to believe" parent that I am, I took him to an educational psychologist and she performed a variety of intelligence tests.  He scored very high average overall and chalked up his struggles in school to "wrong environment" for his learning style.  Wowee I said.  He's bored!  Eureka!

So I switched him to a smaller, less structured private school the next year only to discover that his issues became worse.  He struggled with reading, writing, staying on task, emotional outbursts, impulsivity, compulsive behavior when it came to something he really wanted/enjoyed doing, etc.  I was so saddened and tired at the same time but I love him and I stayed at it trying for a breakthrough, holding out hope that he would "grow into himself".  I enrolled him in Tae Kwon Do (for the discipline and structure) and boy scouts.

By second grade, I decided to go the public school route.  I figured by law, they have to help him succeed right?  Almost from the onset, his two teachers started sending notes home about his behavior and poor focus.  They were always quick to point out that my son was very sweet and wanted to please and do well, but he was struggling.  They were the catalyst for suggesting he get tested for ADD/ADHD.  I researched 504 and IEP's and went through the school diagnostician.  He did test positive for ADD traits so it made him eligible for the 504 program.  I wanted to have him enjoy a regular classroom setting and still expect that he do the same work and learn the same things as any other child so I never told him about the "special accomodations" that would go unnoticed to him in his classroom.

Even though I had this diagnosis, in my own fear, I still refused to go the route of the medication.  No offense to anyone that uses it, it is just something I am afraid of for many other reasons that are personal to me.  I read numerous books on nutrition and supplements and began that regimen.  Even though the results weren't stellar, I found that he did improve within his own capabilities.  Long ago, I made peace with the fact that if his best effort meant that he was a C student, then so be it, as long as he passed and retained knowledge.  School did not need to be a struggle for him.  He was trying his best and that is all I wanted.  He also began participating in baseball and he seemed to interact very well with the other boys so I thought all was as well as it could be.

Well, passivity set in on my part.  We stopped the supplements, stayed with the IEP and loosely watched what he ate.  The red dye and yellow dye thing was very easy for me to watch.  The habit of eating a lot of protein and good carbs naturally stuck with us and I've never been a sweets and soda mom  anyway so it was easy to follow somewhat of a good meal plan naturally. 

Flash forward to 5th grade (now).  We moved to a new home and new school and  I'm not sure if its a blessing or a curse, but his new teacher ( a mother of 3 sons herself) isn't "passing" my son apparently like his teachers of the past in the other school!  The reason I say it this way is because his grades suddenly have dropped from A/B/C to D's and F's with basic math concepts and grammer/writing skills completely shot as if they are long forgotten. Not capitalizing sentences, forgetting to write his name on the paper, sloppy handwriting, easily distracted, doesn't raise his hand, frustrated easily and hs desk (and bedroom) constantly look like they've exploded.   He used to get a 2nd chance to re-do papers that failed, but he doesn't get that now.    I feel cheated because I know now, I wasnt seeing the real picture with him because his other teachers were "enabling" him more than helping him really learn.  In our state, its all about a certain annual test, pass or fail and its on the teachers backs to ensure their students pass, not necessarily focus on the retention or real understanding of the subject.  I am a firm believer in taking personal responsibility for ourselves however so if he doesn't know it, we need to learn it and now is the time! :-)

At home, he has always been a challenge and I tend to look at myself as a highly structured parent and very firm when it comes to discipline (the 1-2-3 system with natural consequences works very well in our house) so I don't think its a lack of structure in our home.  Other people even comment about how well mannered they are and how they are impressed they stick with their routines so well.  But we do have constant "negotiating" of rules and boundaries, constant reminders to brush teeth, make the bed, pick up your shoes, have you done your homework, questions everything and accepts nothing at face value, etc etc etc.   He is amazingly very responsible about certain things, which is why it is so frustrating to feel like I have to henpeck him about simple things.   He can be overly focused on something he is interested in which has also been a conflict for me when accepting he has ADD; if he has an interest, he lives, breathes and eats it to the point of compulsivity.  Amazingly (maybe because I refuse to buy in), a lack of video game interest hasnt been on his list. ;-) His friendships also suffer because he can be very stubborn and lacks the social skills to take turns and be empathetic and compromise, find solutions to issues that arise.  I like to say that I am raising a fierce future attorney, but I'm exhausted and he's failing so I am feeling defeated at the moment and trying to circle the wagons again because clearly, my passivity and denial and wanting to coast and ride this storm out is not working.  I love my son very much and I want the best for him.

So after a recent parent/teacher/asst principle conference, they are not wasting anytime at hinting I should really be considering medication.  Which is hard to swallow because I have to face my fears and also realize at the same time, my beautiful son is still struggling.  Quite frankly, he is borderline classic ADD and Overfocused ADD and the latter I have read may actually be made worse by certain meds.  I really want to feel like I have exhausted all efforts before I go that route and I know I've been passive about it, so......I have recently ordered Attend/Extress and am going to try it for 60 days minimum.  *Pray Pray Pray*  I also pulled out the nutrition books and supplements I used before and dusted them off.  I am also intrigued and will be reading more about others experiences here with the variety of measures used that gain some hope (crawling, the Fatty Acids and Magnesium).  Caffeine is also intriguing to me.

Anyway, I know this has become like a personal "novel" instead of story and I apologize.  I'll close by saying I'm anxious to read, share and listen to others that have the same struggles and deep love for their children that I do with this very real, very challenging disorder.

xoxo

Hello, residentblond,  I am so glad you talked about your son.  My daughter is in the 5th grade and has adhd.  Everything you just mentioned is very familiar to me.  I am still struggling on what to do.  I just spoke to the school physcologist.  Wants to set a meeting with principlal and the teacher to talk about some of the little behaviors my daughter exibits at school.  I told her what Little behaviors?  She said she will further discuss in meeting.  It has got me very upset because children with adhd do have some impulsivities etc... and it sounds as though they are making her out to be a monster.  I just feel like there is more than meets the eye and I trust nobody.  I don't trust the principal, teacher.  They have all perfect little kids in the class and my daughter has adhd and it's okay they boss her around tell her what to do, it's okay for her to be singled out constantly.  I am so sick of it.  When there is a meeting, I will let all my feelings out on how I feel about this new principal.  I feel she is not for the children whatsoever.  This whole thing is just awful.

Stay 

Oh, by the way residentblond, Are you trying your son on an herbal remedy?  Please let me know the name.

Stay

residedntblond and other non-adhd parents of adhd kids, I feel for you!  I'm sure you must be struggling almost as much as your kids.  Schools weren't even looking for adhd when I went to school and I only figured it out recently...after my 50th birthday!  I didn't hesitate when the psychiatrist prescribed medication and boy, what a difference it made!  It made life so much easier for me--at home and at work. 

You can work yourself up about all the side effects and stuff, but the bottom line is that I wouldn't trade it for all the herbs in the Garden of Eden.  I've been on a lean and healthy diet for years to keep my cholesterol down, I exercise hard 5 days a week, and am fitter now than I was at age 30.  I take fish oil and flax oil and all that good stuff--organic all of it!!--and I know it keeps me healthy but it can't touch my adhd symptoms like the stimulant medication does.

The most important choice I think you have is not if your child should try medication, but rather finding a docter who you are comfortable with to work with you and your child with the medications.  The more time you spend reading about this and that sort of alternative and with 30 and 60 and 90 day trials of this and that is precious time for your child, who will likely still be struggling after it all, and you just (if not more) worked up about it!  Try the medications with a good doctor who understands the meds and adhd.... you can always, always experiment with herbs and exercises and magnesium and fish oil after he's on medication and if you find something that works you can lower the medication dose accordingly.    Good luck! 

Hello

My ex-dh always new he had ADD and dyslexia, but he was never diagnosed. Therefore when I gave birth to our son, I was aware that he too could have ADD. When he turned 2 years old, I knew he had issues but he wasn't diagnosed with ADHD until he was about 6 years old. He's recently turned 9 year old.

I refuse to put him on medication. I've been trying to adjust his diet and we've taken him to the Allergist. Nothing has changed. He seems to have episodes and I don't know what is causing them, he'll be okay for a while then for a week he looks pasty and he's off in space somewere that I can't get through to him.

I'll keep looking for answers and hopefully one day find something that works for him.

Hi everyone

I'm new to the forums and my son is 4 and recently diagnoised with ADHD and ODD. I have a hard day, most days with him. I am having the biggest problem with potty training and him fighting with me and my husband, other family members and of course kids at daycare. Like I said I'm new to this whole thing. He is a only child and I dont know where to begin with him. If anyone can help me and give me some advice about anything pertaining to ADHD, I would absolutly love it. 

Amanda

Runningmommy,

Welcom to the fourm! I don't have much advice on potty traing and ADHD kid mine decided at 3 that he was not going to wear diapers and more because his daycare class did not wear diapers! so maybe an older favorite person of his can say something to him. of you can staart a new topic just for potty trainig! Maybe you will get a better responce  that way!

My non ADHD child I used stickers on a chart and candy or natural fruite snacks by motts ans a potty reward too.

Oh and just remembered my son use to love trying to pee on a cherrio! Inexspensive! I think they also sell some kind of floaters for toiliet traing!

Hope this helps some!

Thanks for the advice, unfornately i have tried all of that. The problem isnt urinating but having a bowl movement on the toilet. But again, Thanks

Amanda

I didn't force my child when she was even three, to potty train, I mentioned it and guided her.  The doctor told me she will go when she is ready and NOT TO FORCE HER.   I did just that and did not listen to anyone who said otherwise.  And guess what, it worked just fine.  Don't worry they won't be wearing diapers when they are in there teens....  Just be patient and they will go when they are ready.

Stay

Hi everyone

I'm a 30 year old female, I'm new here, and I have not been diagnosed with ADHD. However, ever since first really reading about it about 4 months ago (gone through about 4 or 5 books on it,) I believe I have it.....I've intended ever since the first book I read about it to make an appointment with a Doctor to discuss a possible diagnosis, but of course, I can't keep the appointments I have made - I've cancelled two so far.  Anyway.  I hope I can still "tell my story" withougt an official diagnosis.  Perhaps some of you would be able  let me know if you don't think I am "ADHD-positive."

As a pre-school age child, say age 6 and before, I was extremely active.  I was  called "wild woman" by my mother (she tells me) and I was always into anything I could get my hands on - removing and throwing stuff onto the floor out of cabinets I could reach, running around the house naked and wet after a bath with my parents chasing me with a towel, talking incessantly, and taking and throwing my mom's stuff out of her purse in church, climbing up into my brother's crib to play with him.  I was all over the place, and, if I remember correctly, happy.

At some point this changed - probably about age 6, and, I think going to school was to blame.  I have certain memories of very specific events, and a few in particular of the first grade.  I remember one day in first grade our teacher asked us to take out something to write with.  My desk (at the back of the classroom - it would from this point on always be at the back of the classroom, if I could help it.)  Though not entirely clear, I remember the teacher having to come back and stand over my desk while the rest of the class waited for me.  I remember a verital SEA of papers on my desk. and parting it with my arms, papers falling on to the floor - nothing to write with.  I checked in the cubbie under the desk, nothing there.  At last I remember finding a stubby little knob of a pink crayon, and showing it to the teacher.  I had found something to write with!

I have a lot of humiliating memories from school.  I could make a list, but it's too long and I don't exactly like to relive those things.  Suffice it to say that I never did homework, had few real friends - or had friendships that didn't last, and over time became more and more withdrawn.  I did fine in school, miraculously, but I was entirely inconsistent.  Bad grades, good grades, faking sick not to have to go.  On top of this, trying to be like everyone else - to wear the right thing, say the right thing (GOD- I hated this.  I always ended up blurting out the stupidest things when I tried to make "friends"), act the right way.  I would wear what I thought was a cool outfit and at lunch time would spill ketchup all over the front of my shirt, or something, and have to walk around the rest of the day like that.  In my own imagination though, I could be anything and go anywhere - and I did, but this made me even more internal and misunderstood.  I began to draw pictures (one day at home on a weekend I covered the entire surface area of my bedroom walls and door with drawings.)  I would get in constant trouble for drawing pictures in class, and eventually I just stopped.

By the time I was 13 I was completely withdrawn, unhappy, and lost.  I had gained weight because I ate everything, and didn't do anything. I was more aware than anyone else how different I was, but I couldn't help it.  I was harder on myself than anyone.  I got by in school, I was a "nice girl" or a "shy girl", but I couldn't help but think that my teachers thought I was maybe also just a little bit stupid.   I was pretty much all but ignored, and didn't cause any problems, so I wasn't an issue to be addressed by either teachers, or parents (I have a brother who needed ALL the attention because of his rebellious behavior - I supsect he's got this too.)  It was all I wanted - if I couldn't garner good attention or be liked by people, I would have rathered just be invisible and left alone.

At about 14 or 15 I discovered that exercise helped me with just about all of my internal restlessness and helped me focus, and my addiction to exercise continues to this day.  It was important for me to find a private way to do it, so I used an exercise bike that my parents had bought, downstairs in our basement.  I would be on it for hours at time- literally.  I wouldn't have done something like running outside, where I might be seen.  I used to love to listen to music while exercising, I loved what it made me think about - thoughts uninterrupted.  

We moved accross the country when I was 15, and instead of being scared to move away from the place I grew up, I was excited and relieved.  We were moving to an exciting place, to the east coast from the midwest, and it turned out to be a good thing.  I would have no history and I could expel most of my bad memories. I did make friends, and I generally found that people were more accepting of me, in fact.  Of course, I was no longer fat and physically awkward from all the exercise so this likely helped.   my academic performance however did not improve, and I barely made it through school (I did make it though.)  I failed a couple of classes here and there, but it was accompanied by a B here or a C there, maybe even the occasional A, so there was no inquiry from my parents.  I think they even stopped asking for my report cards (again, baby brother was always getting into trouble!  I actually envied him a little.)  If they did inquire - or if a counselor inquired, I did my best to push it away.

This is getting too long, but long story short, I sucked at college and got extremely depressed there.  I had to watch my friends graduate while I still had work to do- I was skipping and failing classes, purposely reading books that weren't required reading instead of those that were, pulling mammouth all-nighters for finals and term papers, doing drugs, drinking, screwing around, hating the world....and now I am asking myself thinking back on it, how in God's name did I get away with this?  Why did NOBODY say anything? After I had to endure my non-graduation day, I ran to Paris for a year feeling like a royally unfixable screw-up, and worked as an au pair - the family who hired me was as crazy as I am, so that worked out I learned more there than I ever had in schoo...but I digress.  By the time I got back home I took the classes I needed for my "degree", again, doing just enough to pass them.  I graduated college via mail 3 years late.

Now, I mean I guess name it - lost keys, lost phones, missed appointments, messy papers, irritability, distractability - I have it.  I never knew that there was a name for this until I accidentaly stumbled accross "Driven by Distration" once while I was looking for a book on Depression, of all things.  

Anyway, before this turns into a novel, I'll spare you the rest.  I'm setting up an appointment SOON that I have to promise myself I will keep.  I enjoy reading these boards, and learning more about ADHD.  It feels great to have other people out there who can relate to these feelings, THANK YOU!

Ali

Alley

Definitely keep your appointment.  Tell someone that you trust to keep reminding you about it.  I have had to do this for my daughter.  She was just as you were....slipped through school barely though she tested as gifted on proficiencies.  She never went to college....I cringe when I think back to all of the times I reprimanded her on her bad grade cards...I just had no clue!  I only knew about the hyperactive type of ADHD, and in fact, my husband's doctor (he was dx at age 45 a few monhts ago) said that inattentive type only began to be dx about 10 years ago.  My daughter was dx as an adult in her 20's, and if not for her pushing me,her younger brother (15 years younger) would be going through the same struggles that she did.  She calls him her "little male clone" and persuaded me to get him help before he had the depression/self esteem/academic issues as she did.  Neither one of them were/are big discipline problems, just "not working to their full potential" on each and every grade card no matter what interventions the teachers and I implemented.

Get to the appointment, get help, and hopefully get a life where you are happy and healthy!

Good luck and welcome to the message board!  

Chasesmom

Thanks for the welcome, and thank you so much for the encouragement. it's just such a huge relief to know that others experience this and that I'm not alone.  I'm definitely going to keep that appointment....and educate myself on this.

"Sllpping through" is a good way to describe my life, in addition to school.  Or maybe....hanging by my fingertips!

Many many thanks

Jay and Allie,

My dd has adhd and is on adderal.  I am so glad that you are getting help now.  I really am glad that I am able to get her the help that she needs. 

Jay and Allie,

My dd has adhd and is on adderal.  I am so glad that you are getting help now.  I really am glad that I am able to get her the help that she needs. 

[/QUOTE]

Thanks Hopefull_mother,

I hear a lot of parents who are very concerned about putting there children on this medication. All I can say to you, from someone who has lived an entire life of ADHD without help, is if your child truly has ADHD and you can find the right medication for him or her you are giving them a gift in life you just can’t comprehend. I have been successful and have overcome a lot in my life but so many walls have come down for me now it is amazing.  I wish you are your Daughter all the best in the world.

Jay

Jay,

I am concerned about putting my daughter on any medicine.  when I was a child I was not put on meds or given vaccinations.  I had hives all of my childhood and the early part of my 20's. I was never given anything to help this.  I learned that  benedryl helped the hives go away and made the horrible itching go away in when I left home.  I remember being so itchy that I slept on the floor under my bed because it was cooler and felt good in the summer when I was itching so bad I couldn't sleep.  After watching my child break out in hives I don't understand how my family could have watched me itch for all those years.  I give my daughter the meds she needs to make her life easier while paying close attention to how she reacts.  If I didn't see such a extreme change in her abilities when she is on her meds I would not be giving them to her.  I am going to do the best thing for her no matter whether some people say medicating your children is wrong or not.  I don't care what they say they can take care of their own children and leave me to mine.  DO I SOUND A LITTLE DEFENSIVE?  GET SO TIRED OF BEING ATTACKED BY PEOPLE WHO DON'T HAVE A ADD/ADHD CHILD.

Hi all I am new to this site. My 9 year old daughter has adhd and a mild auditory processing disorder. She was diagnosed at 6 after a terrible first year of school. Ritalin worked wonders and she became a new child. That was until grade four when I realised that she couldn't actually spell. So last year we ended up with another label APD. At the moment we are currently doing the dore program and would like to hear of any positive experiences. We are only three weeks in and have a very long way to go but we are very optimistic.

karrie,

I have never had a problem with my dd swallowing pills so don't have personel experience but funnily enough one of my coworkers just had her son diagnosed with adhd and he says he can't swallow the pill.  it seems he loves bread excessively.  She wraps the pill in bread and he just swallows the whole thing.  my dd wont take liquid medicine.  so I have to try to get everything in pill form. 

Hey my name is Selena, I'm a 27 year old woman living in Australia, I have ADHD, SID (which stands for Sensory Integration Disorder otherwise known as Sensory Processing Disorder) mild tics and mild depression.

I've been under the medical system since 1983 at the age of 4 and due to the fact that SID isn't well understood in Australia, I've worn a few misdiagnoses over the time, yes that was very hard and at times emotionally painful but I've gotten through it and now I know what I really have...I'm one happy camper

My interests are, listening to music, reading a good book, watching the CI channel on Foxtel, chatting on msn with friends, going on www.addforums.com (my username is Crazygirl79 on there), going on www.myspace.com (my page is www.myspace.com/aussiewombat79)  and now coming on here.

Please feel free to contact me anytime about anything and I should get back to ASAP.

Take Care

Selena

Hi, welcome to the new guys. I've been here a while now and never wanted my story until now.  AT 18 I had my first bout with depression.  I didn't know that's what it was then. I just knew life didn't seem to be worth it. It felt like there was nobody in the world who loved me and everything I did was a let down to everyone around me. Let's just say I got into a lot of things that could not really be considered healthy. Then a few things happened, not least of which was I met and fell in love with DH.  We married at 21 and still have a great marriage today.

My 8yo DS was born when I was 23 and he was a great baby.  He only cried when he needed something, slept through at 6 weeks and smiled at 3 mos.  He was a really gurgly, happy baby and I was lucky - because I got Post Natal Depression.  There's no way of describing that adequately. It's a black black hole.  I cried 24/7, got prescribed addictive tranquilisers to take three times a day by my idiot doctor who said I needed to calm down, and - again my hubby rescued me. He took me for a second opinion - after which the right stuff got prescribed, an anti depressant. I had a week of hell starting those, and going through withdrawals for the tranquilisers. Anyway I took them for six months and things were much better. 

Until at 8 months old my baby couldnt sit or crawl, much less walk. We found another idiot masquerading as a paediatrician who said that he never would walk, he had a condition that would kill him before he was 30 and that we might as well put him away in an institution.  Well!!!  This floored us, but I looked at my smily, happy, responsive baby, and thought, rubbish. And I could never lock any of mjy kids away in an institution. So we took him for a second opinion to someone with a brain who said all he had was low muscle tone and after physiotherapy he walked at 18 months. 

Last year he was dxed with ADHD.  Some days when the ADHD is bad I think back and realise it's a walk in the park compared to the first diagnosis.

My second son was born in 2000.  He too was a happy baby and slept through at 7 wks.  We took him to the physiotherapist as a precaution when he was a few weeks old to see if he was also low tone, and he was.  But he didn't do as well as my oldest.  He only walked after 2 yrs old, and was not potty trained properly for a lot longer. Tests and muscle biopsies showed nothing wrong with him.  Finally last year we took him to the Genetic Clinic who told us that he had Beckwith Weidemann Syndrome (basically he's a bit slower than everyone else) but he will get better. And he is. One thing still has a hold on me and will until he's 7 - every six months we have to have him scanned for stomach tumours. (That's tomorrow).

By this time depression had hit me again.  A person tends to blame themselves for their kids problems and also I was working for Atilla the Hun.  The suicidal thoughts were back but I had kids this time.  So off I go to a shrink - who says bipolar disorder.  Well - I WAS a bit up and down at the time but after he prescribed lithium I realised I definitely DID NOT have bipolar.  It was plain old depression.  Anyway something circumstantial had to change.  I quit my job, and set up on online secretarial service with backup of DH so that I could get away from Atilla the Hun and be at home to help my kids. 

So far we have gone from strength to strength in every aspect.

From the outside our family appears "normal". But we all have a challenge to deal with - Depression, Diabetes (DH), ADHD and BWS.  And we're doing well. All of these afflictions will send us curveballs again - and we'll deal with them.

I'm here to say that no matter how hard it seems, you can find a way.

Hi simplyseminole

Thank you for your input, I have tried to respond as best I can

[QUOTE=simplyseminole]

I will be posting my own story with more detail if you are interested, YEP.

2.  If you do resort to psychiatry, be careful.  There are controversies over disorders such as ADD.  I'm not keen on putting either of my kids on any kind of medication right now. I don't like taking the stuff myself and only use it as a last resort.

My psychiatrists confused me Me too. The misdiagnosis over bipolar disorder completely put me off them.

 This is most likely because the disorder is the result of aggregate of many causes, most notably in:  insufficient nutrition, insufficient exercise, an array of environmental stimuli, etc.  If you are certain that you have addressed all possible causal factors, then resort to medication. My thoughts exactly.

5.  Be wary of "bad teachers."  I find that if my kids have a bad teacher it just means I have to do so much more with them to 'counteract' it. But it's also good life experience for them. At the end of the day you have to learn to take the good with the bad.

6.  No matter what, your child is special.  I spent years being confused with adults that treated me as though I had a disability when they did little to treat anything as a strength or ability.  My son has been diagnosed with ADHD for a number of reasons, and I believe the acting up was simply out of frustration on his part.  Now that we all understand him better, he is a lot less frustrated. But he still has ADHD issues that we handle on a day to day basis as they come.  One thing that I read a year or two ago which I try to keep in mind at all times is the following:  If you tell a child he is naughty, he will BE naughty. His mindset is "people think I'm naughty, they expect me to be naughty, so I must act naughtily". Tell a child he is good and he will BE good. With the mindset that "people think I'm good, they expect me to be good so I must be good". 

Remember, your child is only five years old.  My child with ADHD is 8 and was having severe self detrimental issues last year. Believe me this is not premature diagnosis

Your son sounds like a wonderful boy, He is

Hola,

My story started with the amazing birth of my daughter PL ( who is now 6).  High energy, outgoing, full of life, were things I always heard as she grew from toddler to preschooler.  Looking back it makes so much sense . . .  She has been at an all day school since age 3 (Nursery - 6th grade school) and has always recieved teacher comments - difficulty paying attention, impulsive, willful, so on and so forth.   I think my husband and I always knew in the back of our heads that it was odd she always had a terrible time following through with directions and was so easily distracted.  So,  a diagnosis was almost like a sigh of relief.  Once that moment of relief was over, the reality that this is a chronic condition has set in (1 1/2 years later).  We started meds in Aug. changed dosages and types in an effort to find the right fit.  Now I think we are on the right track.  She is doing better in school and is reading and writing . . . still things are difficult since the meds are wearing off once she gets out of school.   So,  though we are on the right track, I need support!!  Each day takes much energy.  I love her to pieces, but it is hard to keep it positive all the time.

Thanks for listening

Hi Sokoban:

I can only speak from personal experience.  As time passed, without even noticing, I learned skills which allowed me to get better at passing tests, studying, and even talking to people.  Nowadays I've got good social skills, can study and pass tests well and make As, and work.   

I think it helps to be able to talk it out with a therapist or counselor, as they can give you ideas, and they can be there to pat you in the back as you get better. 

The meds are good, I've heard.  Unfortunately, I have a heart condition that doesn't allow me to take them, so I have to make do without them.  I'd be doing very very well if I could take medication.  Oh well!  Life isn't perfect. 

I have a feeling that you will be okay.

Take care,

Sarita

You're welcome, Sokoban.  Just keep on trying but don't be hard on yourself and don't insist on everything happening yesterday.     (PL's mum is so right).

As a curious aside, I learned the other day that Prince Charles, Agatha Christie, President John F. Kennedy, and John Lennon suffer(ed) from ADHD/ADD.  Albert Einstein is said to have suffered from it as well, since those who knew him said he had all the symptoms of it.  

Hi, I'm new to these boards.  This is my son's story.  I'll try to be brief.  Sorry, probably won't be, knowing me.

He will turn 5 at the end of this month.  He has always been a handful..full of energy but in a good way.  Always a smile.  Always excited...soo excited he'd clench up his fists and shake with glee over things like seeing animals at the zoo or doing something fun.  But you had to keep an eye on him as he was very impulsive and definitely was a risk for hurting himself (like running into a street chasing a ball)

He got kicked out of his first daycare when he was 3 1/2.  He was in a private home before that.  He was at the daycare 11 months.  He had just moved up to a new class and the teacher didn't like him.  (Teachers that have since left and loved him told me his new teacher lobbied to get him out)  But, the straw that broke the camel's back was he bit another child.   It had happened sporadically since he had been there (he had never bitten at any previous or subsequent provider), but he did at this place about 4-5 times in that 11 months.  He also did occasionally have problems following directions, as the owner/director would tell us that she wondered about him as he "couldn't" make eye contact when she'd talk to him about his behavior. His 2nd daycare he was there for about a year, until this past fall.  We never got complaints about him, so we thought he was doing fine.  But, now looking back, I think they just needed the $, so didn't complain.  He didn't bite anyone there, but...this is what happened.

My older daughter was going to a private Catholic School.  We decided to move him over there last fall 06 as they had a 4 year old preschool to get the kids ready for kindergarten.  He always kept saying he wanted to go to big sister's school, so we thought, why not?  That would help reserve his spot for next year.  Well, he immediately started hitting kids and being defiant.  He started throwing all kinds of temper tantrums.  The Catholic School pre-school teacher didn't like him and had nothing positive to ever say about him.  She always complained and started calling us to come get him every day.  When we'd tell her he hadn't acted like this before, she acted as if we were lying.  She'd say he was the only kid acting like this, disrupting her class, and hitting others.  We hadn't seen this kind of behavior out of him before.  We called the old daycare and they swore he didn't do that there either.  Needless to say that only lasted a month.  We moved him back to the old daycare thinking it was an adjustment thing.  We had just moved to a new house & I was pregnant (had the baby in October)...WOW lots of stuff for the little guy to have to deal with all this change.

By December his behavior was just out of control. When he went back to his previous daycare, he moved up to a new class and a new teacher started with the school.  She was horrible.  She didn't have manners herself.  She talked like (pardon my french...but trailer trash)(figuratively speaking, of course...i don't think people who live in trailers are trashy).  We pride ourselves on manners, and he'd come home saying some of the most inappropriate things.  I felt like I was having to teach her how to speak appropriately if she wanted the kids in her class to mind.  It was mostly boys.  The boys would wrestle, fight, not participate in circle time/preschool activities.  And, the teacher was fine with it.  She said she couldn't make them do anything.  Her class was OUT OF CONTROL.  She'd call in sick a lot too, and then quit 2 months after starting.  For the next month, he had a different teacher every day.  Total inconsistency.  We pulled him out right before christmas.

My husband has now quit his job to be a stay home dad.  He takes care of the baby.  We have our son in another church preschool, mornings only.  That way Dad can have more time with him and help get him back on track behaviorally, hopefully.  He is doing much better, but still gets into trouble for not following directions and/or hitting, kicking, pushing, when in lines.  He's quick to say he's sorry.  He feels bad about it, and says he's mad at himself for getting into trouble.  At other times, he seems to take such pleasure in "being bad" as he puts it.  But, he has improved greatly since starting at this church pre-school at the beginning of the year.  He has a real teacher who leads up the class and she is trying to get him ready for kindergarten next year.  He is behind on what the rest of the class can do, so we aren't sure yet if we should hold him back or not.  She really seems to care about his progress.  And, I'm still torn about whether or not he'll ever be accepted at my daughter's Catholic School (which we built our house near by the way so the kids would be close to school!!!).

We did see a psychologist for a few visits.  She diagnosed adjustment disorder because of all the changes in our lives.  I'm not necessarily searching for a diagnosis...I kind of don't like the idea of him being labeled if he is diagnosed with ADD/ADHD or ODD.  But, the visits have stopped because she coded them as family therapy instead of individual therapy and our insurance denied coverage...only individual therapy is covered.  She didn't really help much anyway as I've read lots of stuff on the internet and books...she even said we already do 95% of what her PCIT (parent child interactive therapy) classes teach!

I also went to a naturopathic dr...he seemed like a quack who just wanted me to buy his products.  I mentioned some of the high EPA/DHA stuff I found on this board, and he said his products are the right ratio...wrong!!! His Metagenics stuff was DHA only!!!...And $20/bottle.  He also conned me into buying this $41 bottle of Ultracare for Kids...which my son won't drink.  Its basically a drink of vitamins...we buy natural vitamins at the health food store anyway, so I'm not sure what this was supposed to help.  Not that I don't think natural herbs/remedies aren't the way to go...I just think we got the wrong dr. because I feel like we have found some moderate success with the things I've read in books and on these boards.

Right now, we are giving our son...concentrate, natural learning factors, magnesium at night (he started having sleeping problems this fall), EFA jr., calcium supplements, multi-vitamin and the DHA softgels the ND gave us.  All of this has seemed to help.  He had a great week last week.  This week not so good, though.  He's hit/pushed on 3 different days.  Might not be right ratio yet...just got our Omega3joy in the mail and will start him on that asap.  He's also got a cold and is home sick today, so that might be why he was acting up.  We are trying to eliminate as many dyes, artificial ingredients as possible, but its difficult when he eats some meals at his preschool...and snacks, etc...

Anway, he's not technically diagnosed with anything yet.  Both my brothers were very hyper boys (not diagnosed either).  My Jeffrey is generally a very sweet, loving child.  Sometimes he can be so adorable and cuddly.  Other times he's a terror and out of control.  I just know I love him with all my heart, which breaks every time he gets into trouble.  I so worry that he's going to have problems making friends if he can't get along.  I'm trying to get him on a good combo of natural things in the hopes that he won't have to take meds some day.  The Catholic School teacher was already half way suggesting he was on that track.  We just try to take it one day at a time for now.  Any suggestions from you all would be great!

p.s. He also has/had asthma.  His pediatrician had him on daily pulmicort for almost 2 years.  Albuterol on emergencies.  He was able to stop taking them last june with only 1 flare up last fall.  We're hoping this cold he has now won't develop into the wheezing where he needs those treatments again.  I know these meds can make a child hyper as well.  He's always had trouble sitting still, and I'm afraid he won't make it through a whole day of kindergarten this fall. I may be searching for a place that has half day kindergarten.

Hello everyone, 

First I would like to thank the operators of this message board and all the posters.  This community is a godsend for those of us with ADHD and the parents of ADHD kids.  I wish my mom had access to all this information when I was young.  It amazes me how I can read other people’s stories about living with ADHD and how their lives can parallel mine so much.

Secondly, this is a long post.  It is something I never could have done a few short days ago.  I never meant it to get so long, but now that my thoughts aren’t a jumbled mess fighting inside my head, I can express myself. 

On to my story…. 

I guess like a lot of us here my ADHD problems really started to show up as a young kid.  I think the first sign that I can recall from talking to my mom was that in second grade they wanted to hold me back because I was unable to sit still.  My mom opted against it.  To quote her “He is in second grade.  He is not supposed to sit still.” And that was that.  My grades where good, better then most, so I moved on.  No problem, no worries. 

Elementary, came and went.  Middle school flew by also.  The teachers were always quick to point out how bright I was, but I underachieved.  I did not try (if only they knew) and I was lazy.  He daydreams to much. Blah, blah, blah… The standard stuff most of us heard throughout our lives.

As school progressed I was the son that had the discipline problems.  I racked up my fair share of detentions for whatever reasons.  I never did any homework, but I was a smart kid (still a smart guy) and was able to get by with reasonable grades.  I could not do homework to save my life and I never studied, but I made up for it by doing well on tests.  I eventually graduated high school at 17 with a 3.0 and went on to college.

College was a disaster, well, the two years I attended were.  The work load picked up and so did the challenge.  Still unable to bring myself to study, do homework, and quit my daydreaming my grades were sub-par and furthering my education was done for me for awhile at the young age of twenty.  I felt I disappointed my family.  I was embarrassed for myself, but I never had a grasp on the struggle I was really dealing with.

I spent the next few years working at few pizza shops in the area.  I did everything from delivering to even managing a couple of stores.  It worked well for me.  I did not have to sit still.  I did not have to study and I could run around change tasks on a whim without any real repercussions. 

All during the college years now, until present I “self medicated”.  It was the only way my frustrations seemed to ease.  I never showed up to work drunk or high, but after work was a night full of beer, pot and Mario Kart.  I was 24 or 25 years old with no real career, no goals, and still just as frustrated, angry, and temperamental as possible.

Now this is where I really consider my adult life began.  I was down and out.  No one understood how someone from such a great family could piss so much away.  Life was slipping by and I failed to realize it, but I was going to give it one more try for a real career.  Off to Mississippi and flight school…

Flight school went as well as it could.  I took much longer then most, but not for my aptitude in flying a helicopter.  Once again my “lack of discipline” and “poor study habits” got in the way.  I spent my nights in front of the TV or hiding out in my room.  It was to frustrating for me to deal with people.  The only time I was sociable was when I would whack back a few beers.  I wasn’t smoking pot anymore, I quit that for career reasons, but I still would self medicate on the nights I did not have to fly the next day.

 I went on to get my commercial pilot rating and eventually my CFI (certified flight instructor).   The focus to push myself  was never there, but I fought thru it and I was a helicopter pilot.  My dream job since I was a grade schooler came true.  Life was going to be so great now.

That leads me to present day.  I had my dream job.  I was up above 2000 flight hours.  My work was flying up and down the West Coast of Florida.  I did everything.  I did tours, flight instruction, and I was even flying the local news helicopter.  From the outside my life looked perfect.  On the inside I was miserable.  How could this be?

So for nearly four years I worked five to six days a week, but I became more and more withdrawn from people.  I wouldn’t go out to restaurants, movies, amusement parks, or anything that I knew would frustrate me and piss me off.  The only time my friends ever saw me where my nights off when I didn’t have to work the next day and I would be drinking.  The “self medication” was the only thing that seemed to curb my emotions, be it temporarily, and get me out of the house to interact with people.  I was unreliable for social commitments; in fact I never ever really made any.  All my relationships, from my friends to my girlfriends suffered.  I never thought much about the ADHD as a root cause for this so I ignored it.  I’ve got this far so how bad could it really be.  Then the depression set in.

I was depressed.  It was harder and harder to get out of bed and go to work.  It seemed strange because I love flying, but it took everything for me to function in society.  It was all too much there would be days I would cry in the parking lot for what appeared to be no reason.  The bad days became bad weeks and I was in a funk that I could not get out of.  I tried to alter some of my work duties.  I eliminated the jobs I didn’t like hoping that would help.  I just wanted to be happy. 

Then one night after a few beers I went out with some friends to my favorite bar.  I wasn’t feeling great.  I almost did not even go out, but after being egged on by friends I did and the party began.  The beers and shots went down.  I was with my friends. Everything was fine.  This self medicating was working, or so I thought. 

I was at home now, alone in my room when I finally broke down into tears.  I had breakdowns before, but this one was more severe.  I had hit bottom with my depression.  I was a miserable mess and truly scared for my own safety.  I called one of my friends, who was out with us that night, at 2:30 weeping.  I had no idea what to do, but I needed someone at that point to both comfort me and keep me from doing something stupid.  I needed help.

The next day, I called my mom, told her my deal, and made an appointment for the following day with a (now my) psychiatrist. I went in to talk about how depressed I was, but my ADHD was way to apparent a few minutes after walking thru the door.  We talked for an hour or so about what was going on and my options.  I had to think things over and make another appointment.  There was more to talk about.

I had a lot to think over.  I am, well was, a pilot.  Any of the drugs for ADHD would immediately ground me.  I would have to choose between either getting help or keeping my dream job.  It would seem to be hard choice, but the choice was clear.  I could not go on living like this.  I needed help in a bad way. 

A few days ago I started on Adderal XR and I’m back to my life.  I’ve gone to my friend’s kid’s softball game.  I can drive to work without losing it, and the people in line who take 10 minutes to choose what will be losing lottery tickets I can handle.  I’m not withdrawn anymore. I’m not drinking anymore.  The changes are profound. Hell, I can tell my story without getting sidetracked, giving up, and eventually quitting.

Thanks for listening,

Robin

Hey punkcoop, welcome. 

Well done for taking the initiative and telling your story, it does take guts.  And you're right about the board being great for parents of ADHDers. Your mom is a clever woman for not letting them hold you back in second grade.  She may still benefit from this board if you want to tell her about it. And from your post it sounds like she has a clever kid.  To still get good marks while facing undiagnosed ADHD could not have been easy. 

If it helps, Einstein was also told he was not good in school.  He overheard one of his teachers saying he was "addled". So - dont put too much to what they said, now.

Self medicating - generally not a good idea, but you showed character by still being able to get your helicopter pilot license and CFI while doing it.   It doesn't matter if you took long.  You completed it and that's an achievement.

Let me tell you something, I think those of us who have been down and out at some point in our lives (most of us on this board I think) have a lot of strength of character.  They do say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

With depression and how hard it makes everything you're talking to the converted.  I had post natal depression after my first son was born and it's the darkest hole I've ever been in. The harder I tried to be happy the worse it got. I also had somebody who loved me there to help me out of it - my hubby. You had a friend and your mom.  I'm glad you made that 2.30 call. Again it took guts.

So now you're at a crossroads - again a part of life. I had one too not so long ago when I had to decide to quit working for the worst boss ever and start working from home. It's not easy but I made the right choice.  You will too.  It's possible that the flight experience as well as everything else was necessary in order for you to be great at what you do next. You may not know now what that choice is going to be, but when you do, you're strong enough to be great at it.

Does anybody know if taking ADHD/ADD medicine will cause seizures? My 9 yr old stepson is having seizures at school. I know this because I am friends with some of the ppl at his school. The mother keeps him from us and we have a court order to see him. (thats another story) She is suppose to keep us informed but she dont. A very good friend of mine has a daughter and when we lived in the same state, the doctor told her that a child playing to much ps2, xbox, nintendo, etc. Could it be a combination of both?

If anybody can help me, it would greatly appreciated. Maybe I will go searching on the internet and find some things out.

The last time I saw my stepson he was on Focalin XR 80 mg, Keppra 750 mg and .1 mg Clonidine daily. In the morning he took 2 focalin @ 40 mg and 1 keppr @ 250 mg. at 4 pm he took 2 keppras. Then at 8 pm he took the clonidine. so he is on 830.1 mg of meds a day.

When he was coming here, I allowed him 1 hr of game time on the tv. His mom uses it as a babysitter. He is on it from the time he comes home until he goes to bed. One night here he thought I was in the bed asleep and I heard the tv on his room, so I walked in there (at 2 am and he was in bed sleeping by 10:30 pm) I unplugged the tv and told him when his daddy got home in the mornig from work that I was making HIM tell daddy what he done. He was defiant but to me, that was his punishment. At the breakfast table, I asked him did he have anything to tell daddy and he said no. I said r u sure. He said, "My mom said you would be mean to me and not let me have my way and im not telling daddy!!" His daddy then asked and then he told him. Well, he got no playtime that evening. He was mad, but instead we played a board game. (but he liked it)

Could it be that the med's and the tv games are causing him to have seizures? He isnt on tegratol. He has atleast 3 of them a week. 

PS. He has also been diagnosed as being schizophrenic, bi-polar, ADHD and he has to take anger management classes. In my opinion, she is "making" him this way. He also has, if he still has I dont know, but a behavior therapist visists him 2x week. 3 if its a bad week. He does not act that way here. People have seen us in public with him that know him, and says he is totally different with us. with her, he is running around, climbing under and over everything, screaming and crying to get his way. (he tried that with me one day, I gave him the look, and he quit. THen he asked me why I done that and I told him you dont act that way in public and he  said, "With my mom I do and she buys me anything I want". I said, well good, but Im not because I just bought you some new clothes and your not getting a toy because of the way you got up and played games. I said, that is part of your punishment.

Its a really long story. Mother told him he was a mistake, he was a bastard, retard, SOB, 4 eyes, etc.

I was never the super hyper person that is a typical ADHD; instead, I have big trouble concentrating. Since I was a little kid I have problems maintaining attention, especially during stressful periods of my life.  My teachers always said that I was a good student when I would pay attention, but I got bored easily and was always in trouble for daydreaming.  When I was in high school I was diagnosed with ADHD and depression. I was embarrassed to take the medication and refused to.  

Until recently I felt that my ADHD was a misdiagnosis, as I read so many stories about ADHD kids bouncing off the walls and that was never me.  I just completely drift off and then find that I have been careless or inattentive or that I have lost spans of time.  I have no idea how I made it through college, but I think that taking theater and art and music classes helped maintain my interest. The fact that classes are only a semester long helped a lot. In my adult life I find myself losing interest in jobs after about 6 - 8 months, getting frustrated and irritable and unable to understand office politics or deal with long meetings, unable to connect with my coworkers, getting distracted in the claustrophobic group environments, etc etc.  I have done a lot of temp and contract work successfully which has been a good fit for my short term attention span!    

In the past year I have been in my first permanent job in years (well, aside from the one I had for four months and quit) and it has been a very stressful time.  The job is stressful and demanding, I work with a lot of very pushy sales guys, long hours, corporate politics.  Since all of this is very difficult for me and I am in stress overload, all of my past bad habits of inattentiveness, poor follow through, irritibility, confusion and carelessness have reared their ugly heads. I feel totally out of control.  After much discussion and deliberation (on my part) my doctor put me on Wellbutrin, but I found that has only made everything worse as I feel like I am walking around in a dream like some weird zombie woman. I made an appointment with a therapist who not only specializes in cognitive psych (so I can get a handle on my behavior under stress) but I am finally open to trying something such as Adderall, at least for a while, to see if that might be helpful.  

Has anyone had experience with Tryptophan which is available through compounding pharmacies and is a seratonin precursor?  Do you know if this has been known to help with ADHD?  Has anyone tried it and what are your thoughts?  I am not a big fan of prescription drugs, and if there is a more holistic supplement I would like to try it.  I know I need to make some changes so that I can have long term relationships in my life and a career, and I am at the point where I am ready to admit I can't control this without some help

Thank you for your help and patience with my long post.    If you are like me, you may have not even made it through the whole thing! : )   I would very much appreciate your feedback.

Hi Serah:

Thanks for your post.  I can relate.  Most of my life I've felt as if I'd just been in a wreck.  I spent most of it believing the reason everything went wront for me was that I was bad.  Mostly Cs in school... some Fs... never As or Bs (though I have been told I'm rather intelligent, but one would never know from my performance).  I did grow to believe that I was lazy and refused to follow orders because that's what I kept (and keep) hearing.  Of course, no one knew (and few know now) I had (and have) ADD, nor was ADD even recognized when I went to school, and it still is barely recognized.  Certainly, it's not a good thing to mention at the work place, since the U.S. does not have job security the way Europe does, and even with U.S. disability laws, well, it's just wise to mention one suffers from it.  

At work, my yearly job reviews have always included, "you must pay close attention to your work", "you must try to stop making little mistakes", and, "if you don't understand something, please ask again, or ask for retraining."  The truth is, that sometimes I perform very well, and others, well, my mind is out there somewhere.  There are even times when I'm not aware that the very thing I am doing at that moment, I am doing incorrectly.  I find out later and am shocked because I could've sworn I was doing it well.  I have been fired due to inattentiveness.  :(

In addition to ADD, I have suffered from depression all my life, as well as social disorder that no one believes I have because I've become so skilled at acting as if I were confident, that even when I'm talking to a group of people, no one knows that deep inside I feel as if I were being accosted by a dangerous gang of criminals. 

Because I have a series of physical problems (not the least of which is heart problems, so I can't take ADDerall and the rest of the ADD meds), I am very interested in anything that is alternative or natural.  I've heard exercise helps a little, but with depression it's not easy to just get out there and exercise.  I don't know anything about alternative precursors of serotonin, but if you find out, please let me know.  I'd appreciate it. 

Good luck to you.

Sarita M.    

sarah1950@peoplepc.com

Well, I haaven't worked with my doctor yet, and I haven't been formally diagnosed with ADD, but please someone out there, please tell me if you have experienced what I have. I need to know that there is a reason for the way I've been all my life, always feeling as though I'm 5 steps behind everyone else in some areas, and completely out of touch in every other way.

Im reliable with appointments and things like that, but I cant remember most of what a person says, or instructions, details, things like that.

Ive offended many people, even those closest to me, because I give the appearance of an interested, intelligent person, and then after they've told me something interesting and important, I keep asking questions about what they've just told me as though I never heard what they're saying. 

I involve myself with interesting people, who simply dont know that I cant remember what they're saying to me.  Its not that Im tryihng to get something over on them or that I think that it's some kind of a joke, I really am interested in them, what they do,and I feel ashamed and disappointed in myself because as interesting as they are............I wont remember anything they've told me.

Im 55 years old now.  As long as I can remember, I've had trouble learning, remembering, and listening.  If someone is talking about something, I can only remember a few things that they said.  It's so embarrassing to ask them the same things that they have already said. This is especially difficult at work and in social situations. When it comes to trying to figure out what to do in a situation, I become lost in the effort.  I just feel lost and out of touch.  As an adult, I can't add to any interesting conversation, because the only informatiion that I've picked up through the years is only partial.  I dont have any complete information to add to a conversation.  When people are talking, I only grasp high points in what they're saying.  I would have to have them repeat what they say, several times in order for me to know what they said. 

I've been pretty good through the years finding ways to compensate.  I have a wonderful personality and I look directly at people when they speak. I give the appearance of a person who is listening.  The jobs I've had have been low key, assistant type jobs.  My husband doesnt even know about these problems.  I think that the only person who is on to me having a problem, is my boss. She's a general practitioner and very insightful.  When a person first meets me they think that Im sharp and smart. It doesnt take long before they can see that my head is empty and doesnt work well.  Ive just lately had more trouble than ever, between the job moving at a much faster pace than Im used to, menopause, a little short of sleep, and some personal stress.  Ive seen the frustration on my bosses face lateley when she gives me a quick list of instructions, and Im lost.  Im embarrassed and this is the time when I can think back on how far back these problems go, and how good Ive been at covering it up until now.

All my life, Ive felt that is there is one thing that I could have, it would be  that I could be smart.  Occasionally Ive felt smart when I completed a day with out ditzy mistakes, or was able to remember well. 

Thanks for listening.  I cant even tell you how it feels to be able to talk about this to someone after all these years.  For so many years I just simply thought that I was dumb and didnt have the intelligence to learn the way others do.  I will be talking to my doctor because I simply dont know how Im going to be able to function at work for the next 10 years until retirement.  I dont feel that its fair to the Dr. or my co workers to continue there, if im not able to do the job in a responsible way. 

My mother always told this story of my second grade teacher who thought that iI was a llittle bit "slow". The story always embarrassed me, because deep down I thought that was true, and I knew that the people she was telling the story to, were thinking that was true. My mother refused to believe it, obviously.

I chose public high school over Catholic, at 14 years old ya dont know that that choice is a cop out because public HS means that low grades are "cool". My main interests through those years, were boyfriends, a good bod, and calories. In my early 20's DISCO.  BUT.....I didnt really learn disco, because I couldn't remember the steps for the real dances..   I was good at the individual dances that involved pelvic thrusts and twirling around your dance partner.  Drinking. dancing , partying were the main events.

Am I still alone, or does someone out there know what Im talking about?

im new to this, and I just cant tell you what a purge I feel, just being able to express and explore my discovery.  I see myself differently, and I just dont know why the people closest to me havent even mentioned it. Maybe they're too polite to say that Miss wise and wonderful has a mental defect. Believe me, Ive seen the looks on their faces from time to time, more of a discouraged look, when they're trying to explain something to me, or bring me into their world.  Can you believe that it's been 13 years that my husband has been a manufacturing engineer, but Ive never been able to until recently, remember what kind of engineer he is. I present a very capable and knowledgable appearance.  Nobody knows, but me, that when people are talking, I rarely hear what they say.  Ususallly Im looking them straight in the eye, nodding and agreeing appropriately, at the same time, thinking about other things.  I keep reeling myself back to the conversation, but off i go again. 

I dont even know where to start with my relief of having people to talk to.  Since I was a little girl, Ive been dealling with what I thought was Dumbness.  Ive always thought that I was covering up "dumb".  I only know that people have been frustrated with me, insulted by what they thought was my inatentiveness, angry with what they thought was laziness, shocked by the fact that I hid my dumbness.  Ive done a brilliant job of constructing my life around ADD so that the focus would go onto my creativity or something else instead of my deficiency. I' ve done a good job of taking the attention off of my deficiency, and putting something much bigger in front of it.  This is why people are so put off and dont understand when they see how out of touch I am. I have humor and creativity, and even insight and intuition, but no information, nothing solid to add to a conversation. 

When someone talks to me, I understand very little of what they say to me. I can t  remember any of the details. Just high points , like "son's birthday". I dont remember any thing else and Im looked at like Im a Martian when I ask my questions. the answer is,   "I just told you, we're having my son's birthday party tomorrow at the party palace, and we're inviting my sisters, aunts, husband and children, 12 sharp. 

This has come to a climax this week at work.  We've been very busy, and Ive been called on to make reasonable adult decisions.  It's very difficult for me to think things out or figure out solutions to problems, and to recieve directions that require more than one detail. I loose it. I get lost in the problem solving process, and when I recieve directions, I try to remember a very limited and reasonable amount of information without writing it down,  but I get back to my desk and Im thinking "what did she say?"  Its always like this, sometimes worse, never better.

Calico, you're describing me. 

I'm middle aged and spent my entire life thinking I was stupid and lazy.  I didn't pay attention to conversations, and caught very little of what was being said.  I attributed this to some lack of responsiblity on my part. 

In school, I caught only the first portion of what the teacher was saying.  The rest simply faded into nowhereland and my mind took off into a daydream.  When called upon to answer a question or work out a problem, I never could.  Students took this for granted and smirked, tho sometimes they laughed at me, while the teachers were usually irate about it.  

My friends were always witty while I wasn't.  Whenever they told a joke, for example, I'd laugh along with them but I often didn't understand it till much later when I was alone.  Sometimes I felt that perhaps if I tried harder to pay attention, I could be more focused.  Sometimes I felt that I was just not very intelligent.

In a group, I was always shy because I never knew what to say.  Whatever I said was said too late, by then the conversation had gone past that point.  Eventually I got to feeling that people might feel pity on me for being so dumb and stupid that I couldn't even carry on a simple conversation. 

You're not alone.   

Dear Carmen and Sarita ,

Thanks so much for sharing your stories so quickly.  Let me ask you this, how many people know that you have a learning disability?

I woke up this morining and before getting out of bed, I was just laying there thinking about what a relief it was to share with others, to get this out in the open.  I was thinking about all the ways my life has been shaped by this, while I've been thinking that I was covering up how dumb I was.  Truthfully, I dont know where Im going with this information now.  I 've probably learned all the coping techniques available, I dont want to take strong meds if any at all, and I still dont want to tell anyone about this except my primary dr. who I trust.

Carmen, what did you have to do to get diagnosed?  Has the diagnosis helped you to understand yourself better? 

Sarita, how about you?   

Is this something that gets worse with age?  This is what Im experiencing.

Thanks so  much.   Let's have a good day!

Dear Carmen,

I know what you mean about wanting to tell people.  It's such an eye opener to realize this, and you want to share what you have been bottling up for so long. I dont really know who to tell.  Some people may think that Im making excuses for making so many dumb mistakes, and for not paying attention.  They have no idea what goes on inside.  Others see very little of what's inside, and what we have had to cover up, and  compensate for.

I can imagine how you felt about that day at work when you lost your list.  I never had that particular thing happen to me, but close to it.  You feel like the naughty child getting caught.

Ive mainly had people who were training me on different jobs, get very impatient and frustrated, and nasty with me because I keep asking the same questions over and over. 

That was funny that your bi-polar grandmother didnt understand you. See it just goes to show that you did a pretty good job of not showing on the outside what was happening on the inside.  It sounds, though, like you have a pretty good and supportive group on your side.  Were your friend and boyfriend relieved or interested in that your diagnosis explained a  lot about you?

Have a good day tomorrow! 

Hi Calico:

Only my sister, a psychologist who has ADD, and one friend, know that I have ADD.  I attempted to explain it to my mom (since she has all the symptoms of ADD), but it didn't quite sink in for her.  She's holding on hard to the idea that she's just not very bright (which of course is not the case), and the very idea of her symptoms being classified as something called Attention Deficit Disorder is something that just doesn't make sense to her.  It is *such* a relief to share it with others.  My psychologist in particular has been a great help to me because he has ADHD and as you know, misery loves company.     

I can't take ADD meds due to a mild heart condition I have, so I rely on every coping mechanism I can. 

Speaking only for myself, I don't think ADD is something that gets worse with age per se.  Part of my ADD involves a horrifically bad memory, so if my memory were to eventually get worse, I'd have to have notes taped to my forehead.     I do think my coping mechanisms got better as time passed, and of course we're all smarter as we get older, so that doesn't exactly hurt either.  Also, I've developed a rather good sense of humor about it.  After all, if I can't change it and be reborn without ADD, I'd better learn to live with it as joyously as I can. 

The hardest thing for me is attention to detail at work.  I rely on my work for my living, so I haven't decided yet if I should be honest at work about being ADD, or keep it hidden.  For now I think it's best that I keep it hidden.  I try to compensate at work by using to the max other talents, but that doesn't always compensate for really messing up something at work does it?  It's downright humiliating, and others make us feel we're irresponsible when they yell at us or accuse us of doing a bad job. 

However, talking about it does help me a lot.  I wish there were a local group of adult women with ADD in my area that met regularly to discuss this and empathize.  I know there are books written about how adult women cope with ADD, and we appear to handle it differently from men (tho there are similarities).  There's a really good book I read, I think it's titled Women and ADD.  I can recommend you that. 

Remember, you're not alone in this.

Sarah

Thanks, Sarita

I'll try that book.

As far as your mom is concerned, I think that this is why it's very tricky as to who we talk to about this.  Many people equate this with mental retardation or something similar. Maybe your mom just feels happier believing that she's smart. I know that I sure would. I would be able to get through the rest of my life with this fairlly smoothly if it wasnt for my job. I take that back. Not just my job. The people I associate with also. They are very knowledgable, college people and I dont converse well because I dont absorb what's being said. I suppose they think that Im shy.  I never have anything intelligent to add. Ive learned that If I do chime in, it's usually with a totally inappropriate comment since Ive only actually heard a part of what was being said. You probably know what I mean.  As you said, the work related errors can be very humiliating. Personally, I havent talked to ANYONE about this except for you and Carmen.  anyway, maybe your mom isnt so bad off.  She's very fortunate, though, that if she should come to a point where she would want to talk about it, she has an understanding daughter by her side.

I think that my husband would be very upset.  He would think that Im dramatizing my situation and putting myself down.  He just thinks that IM a ding dong sometimes and loves me very much. I have not discussed with anyone how dumb and embarrassed I have felt all my life, and all of the humilating things that have happened. 

Well, Sarita, I have to get ready for work. It was nice talking to you.  Have a good day.     

                                              Calico

Wow, sounds like me...people are always getting mad at me cause I tend to dominate the conversation, or that is what they think...but it is like the words fly out of my mouth and I don't have control...I just have to get it out before I forget...I can't even read a sentence without having to go back to re-read it.  The words just won't stay in my head.  But I found that if the book is of an interest to me I can read it..might take me longer then someone else but I do get it finished.  I am so distractable  that sometimes it can take me days to clean one room in my apartment.  Don't worry your boat will stay a float You are not alone....

Hi Taires:

Please don't be scared of finding out if you have ADD or not!  I wish to God I had found out when I was 19.  I wasted lots of years of my life because I didn't know what was causing my problems.  If I had known, I could've done something about many of them.  If I could turn the clock back to 19 and know then what I know now about my having ADD, my life today would be MUCH better.  Instead, I had to suffer not knowing what was causing my problems.     

During all those years I didn't know I had ADD, I thought I was stupid, or irresponsible, or disrespectful, or silly and my quality of life was horrible.  By the time I found out I had ADD, I had already lived too many years.

Being diagnosed with ADD is a good thing.  It means you will be able to find skills to overcome much of what ails you and move forward with your life in a much better fashion, a more beautiful life.  I wish I could send you over some courage to step right up and get tested. 

Hi Calico:

My mom is pretty happy.  She keeps repeating to herself and to me that she was born stupid, and I keep telling her she's intelligent but suffering from ADD.  She rejects that but gets tremendous joy from other things.  Ah well....

Concerning your husband thinking that you're dramatizing your situation.  I think it's very hard to explain ADD.  It took me a long time to convince my sister ADD really existed, and that I had it.  Now my sister has the brain speed of a computer, the memory of an elephant, the attention span of a hawk, and the wittiness of a stand-up comic, and I don't.  She'd argue with me about every symptom I had and told her about.  She'd respond, "I've done that too.  Doesn't mean it's ADD." 

The turning point was when I described for her some of my coping mechanisms and tools that I used to survive.  She was shocked that I required such things to function, when she didn't. 

Now this is going to sound a bit radical, but hey I'll say it anyway.  It's hard to tell husbands that we're ADD because we know husbands might not like it.  Society forces boys to internalize a message that they must "fix" things.  They grow up to be men that want to fix whatever is broken, and if they can't, feel helpless.  When we women are "broken" (a "mess") and they can't find some quick fix for us, they feel very uncomfortable.  (And helpless is not a good feeling).  Also, society teaches both, men and women, that women must be ladylike or at least not a "mess."  It's not too ladylike in not showing up for things, doing badly at work, being unable to follow a conversation, or becoming a loner.  It almost gives the impression of being a rebel, manly, or anti-social. 

Sarita, you're right about husbands wanting to fix things. That's exactly how my jhusband would see this.  Something that he can't fix.  Besides, we've been married for 30 years, he would feel that if Im broken, then he is too. 

You're also right about girls not supposed to be a mess.  I remember in grade school, where really the only poor students were boys - except for me.  I was the girl dumb dumb in the grade. Girls were supposed to do well. No matter how my parents coached me, I just never caught up.

Have a good day Sarita,  Its good talking to you. 

dkwida,  Im so very sorry to hear about the problems that you have with your daughter. Being a parent of a very difficult daughter and the grandmother of a 7yr old grand daughter who is tearing her mother (my daughter) up, I really feel for you.   Its a terrible feeling to hate and love your child at the same time, but those feelings come up under the best of circumstances.  Hang in, dkwida, and time will pass.  Mainly, don't let the problems with your daughter, keep the relationship with your son from growing.  Remain close to him, treasure that, and enjoy it.  Not only does your son need it to grow from, but you need it, and an interesting thing may happen - your daughter may just want some of that too.  Make sure that she sees that the family's lives dont revolve around her 24/7 and that there is a lot of love and good stuff that will continue to go on wheather she chooses to join in or not.  If you extended family nearby, people who understand the situation but arent really involved, continue to have them to your home. Im sure that your daughter is embarrassing and unpredictable, but when yor family is over, she may just stay in her room, or pout in the corner while everyone else has a good time.  Do this as much as possible.  You and your son need your family, the interaction, and there needs to be laughter in your home.  ALSO your daughter will in her withdrawn way, continue to wittness the fact that joy will go on in spite of her, she will see how happy normal people behave with one another, she will see what she's missing out on. Again, with time, these are things that will continue to nourish her, and inflluence her, and hopefully, eventually, working at being happy may become something that is important to her.  IF you, your son, and daughter are locked in and isolated by the  problems with your daughter, your home will be a prison for all of you, and you may all forget what joy and laughter are. 

I hope that something that Ive said can help you.  I wish you a good day.

                                     Calico

You said you had signicant times with concentration, right? How do you do it?

Do you ever manage to think "nothing".

I often "normal " people what they think and they answer "nothing", do you ever have the same question. It is tiring to think all the time. Is that normal?

You know what, I don't remember and this is not a joke.

So much pain.

My stepson is only 9. For as long as I can remember he has been on meds for 4 yrs. Clonindine right after he was put on the adhd pills. So far he has been on Adderall, Ritilin, Concerta, Focalin, Risperdal, Keppra, Depakote, Strattera, Metadate, and Clonidine. They have put him on different dosages, and combinations. At one time, he was on Metadate, Risperdal, Depakote, Focalin and Clonidine at the same time. I think for his size and age he is to young to be on this many pills. I have read that it causes you to have a fast heartrate, it could cause liver damage. I have been reading about all the pills he is on or has been on.

I do know this, when he was coming here, he would eat from the time he got here until he went home. So, one day I asked him, "Do you eat like this at home?" He said "No, my mom dont cook for me. But she does cook when one of her boyfriends comes over, but she sends out to play and tells me not to come back until she yells for me."

The mother has denied this, but I can tell by the way she acts he is telling the truth. We have a courtdate coming up in less than a month. We hope to get custody of him. We havent seen him since Oct, 16, 2005. If we dont get him, atleast we hope to start seeing him again. Which means, we have to start all over again with his trust issues with us. She tells him we only want to see him so we can take him from her forever. We tell him we just want to see him. Now it has come down to us wanting him due to the abuse he has to endure on a daily basis. A kid in his classroom is my friends nephew. That is another way how I found out about him having seizures at school.

Does anyone else have trouble doing housework? Keeping dishes clean
and putting away clean clothes?

Oh yes! among other things

Hi JaneDoe:  I'm curious what happened with your insurance when you turned 18.  Where you on your parents plan until then and then no one would inusre you?  Was there a lapse in coverage from your parents plan over to your plan.  I think if you keep it going you would still have to be given coverage.  I'm already worried about that when my son turns 18 and he's only 7 right now.  I think I should be like Scarlett O'hara and say I'll worry about that tomorrow.  Could it be that your job is too boring for you perhaps that might be why you can't concentrate.  I'm not ADHD but my son, step daughter and husband are and they all have trouble concentrating when they are bored.  And even though I run around picking and cleaning up after all of them my house is almost always a mess.  I love them all anyhow and I do try to train my son a bit better to help clean up after himself.  He used to be better at it but has seen how the other two leave everything around so he is getting that way too.  Good way how you diagonosed the child's ADHD although teachers are really not authorities they do see the difference in children.  It's only a check list that psychologist use anyhow so I'm sure you all used that too.  I took my son for the full evaluation because he's adopted and I was concerned he might have something more like bipolar but they said he does not.  At least not that they can tell yet.  Good luck to you and please let me know about what happened with your insurance, I am curious to know.  Even my husband and I had to get whats called an At Issue policy where they charge you a huge premium for insurance due to pre-exhisting conditions.  I only have acid reflux and take meds to control that and still they put me at risk.  My husband takes anti depressants.  Just curious what might happen to my kids when they turn 18.  Thanks for any info.

Welcome aboard pj!

I like to go through long posts in pieces. Thank you for breaking it up into paragraphs, it helps a lot

OMG!!  Yesterday I found this site searching for answers for me and my sons problems, I've read my life story among the many here! I cried my eyes out for an hour or more and was depressed the rest of the day.

When you get over the shock you'll be on your way to helping yourself [and sometimes, we're pretty funny around here and can perk you back up]

My son only has been recently diagnosed with ADHD , Dyslexia and Tourettes. I've been doing a lot of reading online about ADHD in Children and began recognizing my own behavior when I was a child-teen and still now as an adult and I'm feeling so incredibly angry ,sad, hurt and alone within myself.

Get tested. This is something you want to be sure of so you can settle your own mind. Chances are, you're right but there's sometimes more than one single cause for unhappiness so it's best to get all the information you can--so you can get your life on the track YOU want.

The only silver lining is my son is going to get early help, his life won't be wasted on making implusive dumb things like I did, he won't go through life thinking he is stupid, nor go from job to job, start somthing & then not finish, he knows now he is not at fault he's not a bad person.

And neither are you

I  found out that ADHD and other disorders are all thorugh my family & that I had these problems from the beginning but no one ever bothered to test me or find out why I was such a mess, I was going through life by the seat of my pants. And now only because my son has been determind ADHD , I would have contiuned to go through life feeling like a failure. That I wasn't worthy to hold down a job other than motherhood and even that I feel inferior to. I always thought it was the weight that made me feel that way..in fact it was my own disorder that caused all the chaos in my life.

It isn't just "your own disorder" causing chaos,  although that's part of it. It's also "societal norms" and educational requirements--many  circumstances can feed into this disorder causing it to create more havoc in our lives than we would ordinarily have dealt with.

There was only two times in my life that I felt normal in hinesight, while under a doctors care as a teen for a short time I was on some medication to help me lose weight. The name of it escapes me but I was able to function , I lost the weight and I was fine by that time I had already quit school because I thought I was to dumb even for school. I soon discareded the meds as the weight was  coming off and had a job doing well everything was peachy king my life was on track I was able to focus and complete tasks that were required of me. Once I took myself off the meds , my old behaviors returned I never connected it and the weight came back.

The second time I ever felt normal was right after I got married, I was again seeing a Doctor for weight loss same story . I was just older and I wanted children so again I took myself off the meds, so that husband and I could begin trying to have a baby....six years later I had my first child and yes with each day my behavior was back to the way it was while growing up..man I was a mess. Anyway, that's the long and short of it. Sorry for the long read but I guess this is my only shot at an outlet.

I just hope and pray my son doesn't ever have to go through anymore heartache that the teachers, the other children and the whole dam system has put him through , my baby has been made to feel unworthy to live and I'm pissed over it ,have been fighting the schools for 3 years telling them something is wrong but they just want to sweep it under the rug and pass him with him whether he  knows the subject or not, or hold him back and make him feel even less.

Well, I suppose I've rambled enough for you, I do appreciate you all listening to me.

A pleasure to meet you!

Hi JaneDoe:  I'm curious what happened with your insurance when you turned 18.  Where you on your parents plan until then and then no one would inusre you?  Was there a lapse in coverage from your parents plan over to your plan.  I think if you keep it going you would still have to be given coverage.  I'm already worried about that when my son turns 18 and he's only 7 right now.  I think I should be like Scarlett O'hara and say I'll worry about that tomorrow.  Could it be that your job is too boring for you perhaps that might be why you can't concentrate.  I'm not ADHD but my son, step daughter and husband are and they all have trouble concentrating when they are bored.  And even though I run around picking and cleaning up after all of them my house is almost always a mess.  I love them all anyhow and I do try to train my son a bit better to help clean up after himself.  He used to be better at it but has seen how the other two leave everything around so he is getting that way too.  Good way how you diagonosed the child's ADHD although teachers are really not authorities they do see the difference in children.  It's only a check list that psychologist use anyhow so I'm sure you all used that too.  I took my son for the full evaluation because he's adopted and I was concerned he might have something more like bipolar but they said he does not.  At least not that they can tell yet.  Good luck to you and please let me know about what happened with your insurance, I am curious to know.  Even my husband and I had to get whats called an At Issue policy where they charge you a huge premium for insurance due to pre-exhisting conditions.  I only have acid reflux and take meds to control that and still they put me at risk.  My husband takes anti depressants.  Just curious what might happen to my kids when they turn 18.  Thanks for any info.

Does anyone else have trouble doing housework? Keeping dishes clean
and putting away clean clothes?

I am afraid to enter  the kitchen in case that fuzzy coating on the dishes attacks me and all my hair falls out.

I have not worn matched socks in two weeks--even the ones I dug out of the dirty laundry hamper since I ran out of clean ones a week ago.

My dresser looks like the fire sale table at the Salvation army AFTER 2,000 maniacal women gutted it looking for jeans during the red light sale special.

Pay attention to WHAT? What was I saying? Did I say that? DOH WHAT?

....does that answer your question?

Oh yes! among other things

boy Sk8ter do I feel for you.  I hate doing my check book because I have forgotten to keep and write things down.  If it wasn't the fact that I can get emails from my Credit Card companies to remind me to actually pay them.  Thank heavens I manage to keep them up but am almost always forgetting my phone bill and am one month behind all the time.  I keep my license because I have a child and slow down when she is in the car.  When I was younger I kept getting speeding tickets. 

Danniiw,

There are lots of parents on this site some who use meds and some who don't.  I have used medicine on my dd since she was 6.  She was diagnosed in 1st grade but had many problems before then.  She was kicked out of Preschool of a private school because she would not do what the teacher asked of her.  She was suspended from Kindergarten for 2 days.  A teacher in the school really thought she should have been kicked out because she would have screaming kicking fits.  Jas kicked her.  She weighed all of 39lbs then.   the teacher realy didn't like her.  Luckily that was not Jas's teacher.  Her teacher loved her!   He was able to get Jas to do anything so it worked out okay.  When we started her meds it took the whole year to get her even close to were she needed to be because the teachers were not talking to me.  YOU HAVE TO MAKE SURE YOU KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON IN THE CLASS.  I talked to her teachers all the time but they didn't tell me she was still having problems until March.  MOst of the year was over by then. 

The next year I talked to the teacher and made sure we were on the same page but We had to put her on a second med to help her.  By 3rd grade we were  almost there.  we went back to just one medicine.  In 3rd grade she was put in the GT class and really started to come into her own.  She can still have her moments when not on her medicine but that is only when she is with me on the weekends so I can keep her weight up.  She doesn' eat on her meds so I deal with her on the weekends.   It can be very stressfull for me.  She will do things like not get in the car when we need to go some where.  It is really a pain.  ON her meds at school she has gotten Comended on her math and reading TAX test.    It is so far from where she was at in 2nd grade that I can't believe it. 

Dear Hopeful Mother:  I love your little saying at the bottom (Hug her every night when she is asleep and so sweet).  I can relate,and also I can relate to the not getting in the car to go places.  My son will flat out refuse to go out to dinner with us if we want to.  Strangely when we say fine we won't go out he then says Oh it's O.K. let's go.  Then we might say O.K. fine let's go, only to have him say well I really don't want to go but if you guys do.  And it can just turn into an on and on thing.  At that point we usually just say let's go and start walking.  It can be so frustrating though.  So now I'm going to go and hug him while he is asleep and looking like an angel too.  (He's on the patch 10 mg only thing he will agree to)  Thanks

PJ,

I have a dd that is diagnosed adhd and I am undiagnosed add.

we have clean clothes. they are just all in the clothes baskets instead of in our dressers.  I have a bag of clean socks that I have yet to pair up.  I wear one pair for several days because I am afraid that I won't have a replacement pair.

the only fairly clean places are the kitchen and the bathroom. the dishes are kept in the dishwasher until it is more empty than the sink is full and I finally run another load. 

I keep almost everything in the car because I am afraid I might lose something.  Of course then I can't find anything until the car is cleaned up. 

I have a question.  How do we teach our children to not be messes is we can't show them.  I worry that my dd is going to really think that this is the best way.  I don't want to be a mess but as soon as I start something I get either caught up making one little corner really clean or carry something somewhere and start messing around with that instead of what I was starting to clean.  When I was in college I just moved all the time and gave away stuff on a regular basis so I didn't have to move it.  I manage to clean one side of the living room and then by the time I get on the other side we have messed up the first side.   I keep going from side to side.  Ugh!

My older brother was always a little boisterous when he was little, and when I came along (being a girl) our parents hoped I would settle him down a little. It did little for him, and my parents must have seen dozens of doctors in dozens of towns in the hope of finding a reason for this. People just said he was a typical boy, but it was clear to us that that wasn't the case.

My mother heard of ADHD and suggested it to our doctor, who was firmly against the condition, and of course he denied it. We went through family counselling and they told us it was the divorce that had caused the behaviour, but they didn't listen to the fact that he had alays been like this. We went to one doctor locally, and she would have been potentially very good, but my brother said all the right things to wangle out of the situation, and he had known what he was doing. The ADHD meant that he didn't have the patience for more counselling, and wanted it to stop. When my brother was kicked out of school, the doctors finally agreed that ADHD was the right diagnosis. He was put on Ritalin, but it didn't last long since my brother had deemed it poison. My mother found a homeopathic solution, but that didn't last long either.

It took my brother a while to love out, not being able to stand on his own two feet through no job stability - he would get bored quickly and his attention would go. Now he has found himself a girlfriend that seems to mother him as he needs, and he seems to be very successful in his current situation. She does a lot for him, but the relationship works.

His relationship with my mother was strained, as my mother could never understand why he was behaving as he was, and she felt that she was always yelling at him - our house was not a happy house for a number of years! She now understands the best way to approach him about things, and is now trying to ensure that his girlfriend knows this too. It took twenty years for my mother and brother to work things out, and she just wants him to feel like people understand him.

We know how to deal with it now, and we know what to expect. My relationship with him is better than ever (we were never close as kids). My mother knew to tell him that she loved him despite that she was getting angry by his actions, and she just hopes he sees that.

If any of you have kids with ADHD, just remember to tell them you love them. I think they probably feel naughty enough, and it's not their fault. 

PJ,

I have a dd that is diagnosed adhd and I am undiagnosed add.

we have clean clothes. they are just all in the clothes baskets instead of in our dressers.  I have a bag of clean socks that I have yet to pair up.  I wear one pair for several days because I am afraid that I won't have a replacement pair.

OMG!! I leave mine on the washer. kids go to the machines to find their clean clothes for school lol  

the only fairly clean places are the kitchen and the bathroom. the dishes are kept in the dishwasher until it is more empty than the sink is full and I finally run another load. 

I have my daughter clean the kitchen most of the time.

I keep almost everything in the car because I am afraid I might lose something.  Of course then I can't find anything until the car is cleaned up.

I am a major pack rat! I think I still have every single card, note scrap of paper ever given to me-husband keeps telling me trash some it but I can't bare to part with my paper stuff for fear of losing some important piece of information.  

I have a question.  How do we teach our children to not be messes is we can't show them.  I worry that my dd is going to really think that this is the best way.  I don't want to be a mess but as soon as I start something I get either caught up making one little corner really clean or carry something somewhere and start messing around with that instead of what I was starting to clean.  When I was in college I just moved all the time and gave away stuff on a regular basis so I didn't have to move it.  I manage to clean one side of the living room and then by the time I get on the other side we have messed up the first side.   I keep going from side to side.  Ugh!

I'm so like this too. I hate it! but I am hopeful that after I get my evaluation my Doctor will put me on meds and then I can start being normal then maybe I will be uncluttered in the mind and in my living area. My son is already showing improvemnet in this part of his life of course he is a kid and has a little brother so it's not easy for him to keep his room clean either,but he does try without me nagging.

I think if I wasn't a perfectionist, my house would never get cleaned 

Inconsistency is my biggest problem, my brood are just like me too.

14 yr old daughter, ADHD, uses dexadrine during exams

12 yr old daughter, ADD (-in denial)

7 yr old daughter, ADD-Inattentive, on dexadrine (needs something different)

7 yr old son, ADHD- with cognitive difficulties, on dexadrine

 Realized a year ago I'm ADHD, just now seek/searching for help

David’s ADHD

I think a part of me was always fighting taking medication because I felt it's somehow cheating, that I should be able to get things done if I just had enough self-will and determination. I *know*, intellectually, that my ADHD is real and biological, but emotionally...

When I first began taking medication for ADHD, I was overwhelmed by the amount of quietness in my head. It was extremely scarey and made me hesitant to do anything. For the first time in my life I could actually hear my own thoughts without interruption. It's difficult to explain but I will try to explain by an analogy. It was like sitting at a rail road crossing watching as the train goes by, trying to read the graffiti written on each car, wondering what’s in each car, how long is the train and how many cars are there, does the conductor like his job and I wonder how does he get back home? The train disappears in the distance, some horn blows, the lights green and I can't remember what my last thought was...:( Driving forward waiting on my mind to catch up! So I can get back to what I was supposed to be doing. I have become accustomed to the diverting traffic in my head, but now on medication the traffic has come to an immediate halt. But, because of my experience, I am afraid it might be a trick to get me in the middle of the road, where the train would come speeding down the track and kill me. With Adderall I have gained the ability to stay focused and trust that I’m not going to lose concentration and get hit and learned that it is safe... Not jump over cars, run to the other side of the road in the wrong direction or wait for another car to go by, so that I could make it to the next safety point.

I started looking into ADD a few months ago and said "this is just like me." It angers me sometimes that I wasn't helped a long time ago. I hated school, hated my job, never really had friends ( my way or no way), and my parents were so unaware of my problem. Of course, my self esteem lacks, because I was always told that I was lazy, a dreamer, always take the easy way out, overly sensitive, never finish anything, unapproachable, etc. The knowledge coupled with the medication has given me the freedom to be able to change. In essence, however, medication does not change one; there is still work to be done. I wish that it were like a magic wand because I struggle in many areas of coping with what some view as basics.

I have been doing a lot of reading on the internet, message boards and chat. Trying to gather as much information as possible on how to implement some necessary changes, adjust to the quietness and comparing medication dosing and reactions. There are many POTENTIAL risks involved with stimulants as with ANY medication. I don't want to be scared off from them just because of the horror stories I have read and heard. When I read of people taking 10mg a day and having bad side effects, it makes me think twice about asking for a dosage increase. Although there are far more success stories than failures. On October 3 I will be 40 years old, I was diagnosed a few months ago with ADHD. I am currently prescribed Adderall xr 30 mg/once daily. I'm 6'5'' and weigh 235lbs. I have been involved in starting my own business the last year. I wake up around 3:30/4:00a.m. go to the gym and out the door to work by 7:00/7:30a.m. Business moves at the speed of life, so I never know when I am going to have a long day or a really long day.

Within the past few weeks it has become easier to recognize when the medication is increasing my concentration and focus and when it is wearing off. Taking my medication as prescribed (1x30mg) the past three months I’ve experienced about 6 hrs of focus and concentration max before I start to hear the train coming. I have recently decided to try taking 60mg (2x30mg) on the weekend ( I finally feel like I had one and got a few things accomplished as well) spacing out the dosing 7hrs apart starting at 5/6 a.m. this worked really well for a minimum of 12 hrs and I’m still able to fall asleep at a decent hour. Monday through Friday I have either skipped a day or taken a total of 60mg (2x30mg) 6hrs apart. More often than not my business requires me to work late physically and mentally. First I tried taking my dose later in the day, but that’s like putting out a forest fire with a squirt gun, might as well let it burn its self out. So, I have realized that taking one 30mg is just not enough for the entire day. I feel worse in the afternoon (around 1p.m./2p.m.) than if I didn’t take any medication at all (falling back on caffeine).

I've had a really good few months: clarity, depression better (because I can think better), less squirming, better concentration, etc. Not a single bad effect, and I have had no adverse effects from the med. In fact, in my opinion I'm calmer, sleep better, coffee consumption reduced dramatically, my appetite is fine ( not taking Zantac on a daily basis) and certainly not having any negative effects on my sex life ( because we get along better). I exercise (cardio and weights) almost every day. My personal relationships as well as social have improved dramatically. When I hear of these horror stories people tell about Adderall it leaves me to believe that they must not suffer from the same thing I have for the last 40yrs. The medication creates an instant quietness in my head which has given me the ability to attempt to change many of my ingrained coping with ADHD mechanisms... I realize the medication is not magic. Yet, it is so much better than it ever was prior to the medication. Now I know, I have spent most of my life unaware of my behavior, and these behaviors have greatly impacted the quality of my life and the lives of those around me. For example my poor time management, confusion, interrupting others, poor study skills and even overeating have fostered low self-esteem and ill with others.

When it comes down to it, I personally believe that every individual should weigh their options and choose what's best for them. For me, it is to take Adderall. Yes, there are many potential side effects from it, but you only get one chance at life, and for me, I would rather spend my life at least somewhat "put-together."

Quite frankly, every drug has its dangers and side effects....it's a matter of what works for a particular person.

I'm finally being treated and I'm looking forward to a better and successful life ;)

David Mauller

Sunday, August 21, 2005

Hi  My name is Heather and I'm new to adhd. They think my dd is adhd. But I can't find any one to help me. She is 5 and i'm not sure what to do could some one help me ???         &nb sp;   

Hi  My name is Heather and I'm new to adhd. They think my dd is adhd. But I can't find any one to help me. She is 5 and i'm not sure what to do could some one help me ???         &am p;nb sp;   

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Heather,

I thought my Darling Daughter was Add or Adhd when she was in PreK but they won't diagnose that early.  I had to Be a strong Advocate for her to get the Help she needs.  I am so glad to read about the adults who have handled it and went on with their lives.   We have to make sure Our children don't miss out on the help that they need and the respect they deserve. 

 My dd is loving, outgoing, perceptive, and friendly because I allowed her to be the active and independent person she is with my loving support.  She can be all alone and happy or the center of a group of kids at the local McDonalds. 

I am very proud of her and if my getting her diagnosed early and on something that will help her then I am going to do it even if my family say "She is just active.  She will grow out of it. " It has helped her learn to read well enought to get Commended on the TAX test in reading for 3rd grade, when she was going to fail in 1st!

Posted: August 31 2005 at 5:58pm | IP Logged I have been suffering from adhd since ive been just a kid, I dont know if it is adhd or a mental disorder. I am 19 now, have had it for god knows how long. I suffer from depression dont know if that is from adhd but this is how I feel.           Always have negetive thoughts going through my head how stupid I am, what is wrong with me ill never be good at anything. Can't even name half the things I think about on a daily bases, constantly think about life after death or anything said I have a negetive thought for, happyness is hard to come by.     I always am interupting people in the middle of what they are saying, and I talk way to much once I get going I cant stop and feel stupid at some of the things I say cause I cant keep focused on the task im trying to do. So to entertain myself I just talk and say random things in which are stupid movies, tv, freinds in the middle of important tasks.     I misplace everything and am always second guessing myself, at work im always cought doing something wrong. And then trying to remember what I did wrong is impossible "where the flaw was" so I make up lies to not make myself feel stupid. When people are talking to me I must listen carfully at everything there saying which isent an easy task, "does'nt quite click". When it comes to focusing in on things like reading or something, my mind just stops thinking and I goes into a somewhat mental daydream. Where my mind is resting itself in the middle of a task. I feel almost detached from all my surroundings people talking, boxes moveing, draws shutting, bird chirping.     It is like being in another world, that's my best way to describe it. Nothing feels real everything to me is just a thought in my mind. As if I dont exist, a colour form, leforic, in so many words the best way I could describe it is detached from humanity. It seems when I drink it fixes these things not completely but it does help, makes me more aware, confident, and relaxed. I see myself becomeing an alcoholic therefor I must get to the bottom of this I can't live like this any longer.     If anyone else is liveing the same lifestyle, or has please fill me in on how you eased it or even cured it, I dont take any medication for it but if it works I sure as hell will this has been such a burden my entire life from as long as I can remember. Thank you for your time. Edited by Alwayshot on August 31 2005 at 6:10pm __________________ Anon

ok, here's the short version...

i didn't do ANYTHING in school, but managed to get As and Bs... then i went to college.

i failed out after my junior year... they thought i had depression, but my first (of 5) senior year, i was dxed...

now i'm 28 and still living with my parents.  i have a finance degree, but i work part time as a teller (but usually get the hours of full time).  i really like my job, but i can't afford to move out  and have no health ins. 

people are pushing me to actually DO something with my degree, but i don't really like finance and would really rather stay where i am.

only 4 close friends know about my adhd b/c my mother thinks it is something cooked up by docs and parents to drug their kids so they'll sit quietly and watch tv.  the scary part is my mother was a teacher.  she tells people she knows who's kids have it that she really saw what a benefit ritalin was to the kids she had in class, then when they leave she complains that the only problem with their kids is that the parents don't discipline them enough.

i was so well disciplined that even now i'm still scared to do anything that might make her mad...  anything that's not the way SHE thinks it should be done.  i've only recently started to figure out who i am (apart from who she expects me to be).

It's just too cool to hear how much meds can help someone.  Thanks for sharing your experience.  I suspect that sexual side effects would have affected me more as well, but like you said:  The communication's better/I'm "better" thus the relationship is better and that results in a much happier Mister.  Congratulations! Keep posting . . .

When I was a baby I had casts on my legs and never really crawled.

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Funny that you should mention the crawling.  My son, now 11 years old, crawled for about a couple of weeks before he was off and running.  That lack of crawling made  him clumsier as a toddler.  Physicians have proven that babies crawling helps with balance later in life as they walk.  My son used to be all bruised up from falling and bumping into things.  Now, he cuts corners too sharply and bumps into stuff all of the time. 

We've been told since preschool by teachers with little relevent experience that they believed our son had ADD/ADHD.  We've proven them wrong every time.  He was diagnosed with Sensory Integration Disorder and completed the Interactive Metronome Occupational Therapy program.  The OT said that our son didn't have ADHD because he could complete a repetitive program of 2000 reps.  We discovered that he has had enlarged adenoids and they were removed as well.  He is a mouth-breather, apparently a common SID trait.  He started middle school on 8/9/05 and he is having a hard time keeping up because of not paying attention, making careless mistakes, not listening, not finishing tasks, not following directions and being easily distracted.  These are all of the symptoms of ADD-inattentive type.  His physician had suggested treating the SID with meds in the past, but we were really against them, but with these new difficulties, I will do ANYTHING to make it better for my son.  We are meeting with her to discuss medications for him.  I have suggested Strattera because of the results my husband and I have seen with our clients and long-term use of the amphetemine-based meds (stimulants).  I am a Social Worker with a County government Human Services agency and my husband works with the Department of Corrections with felony offenders. 

I'm so thankful to have found this message board.  Just reading your stories and comments is a great help.

Hey, LynnAnn--just wanted to let you know that I always felt I was a brilliant prodigy.  It was not until I was 32 years old that a psychiatrist informed me I have ADHD.  I quickly read that meant I had a "minimal brain dysfunction" & my ego & I cried for about a day.  I totally can see it in my parents, but all in good ways.  I am 4O now & I understand that ADHD is likely what made me so "smart".  Hyperfocus can be incredibly productive & facilitating.  I never understood why the more units I took in college the more I got straight A's, yet I knew that if I was given a homework assignment 2 weeks in advance it would simply drive me crazy.  I would end up having to delay the assignment until just the night before, stay up all night hyperfocusing on it & get a standing ovation from my class the next day.  I guess that's the benefit of not being distracted.  Don't forget--all your engineers are hyperfocus trolls--people just think they're wierd, but that's why they don't shower a lot--they are hyperfocusing on what they're into.  Their brilliance is undeniable & admirable.  I admit I learned early on in school the better I did the more positive attention I got from my teachers, and I've always loved to please.  I am a born bottom-kisser, but it's gratifying to me to make people happy.  I have eight year old twins & the youngest is not a pleaser & I'm adjusting to that but in some ways I wish her sister & I had more of her independence.  Anyway, just tell your child she's brilliant & reinforce all her strengths with positive touch reinforcement & that can do miracles. It clearly did with me.  My PhD is not far from my reach & that's only possible because I was always TOLD I was smart--not that I am. 

I was born more than 3 weeks late. Procrastinating again, eh? hehe

Doctors said that I was mentally retarded, ...that's what my wife says about me2...

During grade school I was always near the top of the class in math and science ...Me3

I enjoy thinking, reading several books at one time, Me4, but rarely finishing any. 2 nites ago I walked through the house, and found six books that I wanted to read. One was one I'd started and never finished. One was about flags. I started reading four of them that night, and would have read a little in another, but fell asleep. coming up with a tremendous amount of great ideas, Me5. Some paid out, but then I went bankrupt b/c I didn't know how to run a business, b/c I dropped out of MBA school and got into something else. starting some but hardly finishing any. Drs. Hollowell and ??? call this symptom "Many projects going at once, trouble following through".

I have lists, if I miss place a list then I redo the list. Me6, about every 3 days...

50% of the mess in my office consists of paper scraps with lists, notes to self, people's contact information, calculations, etc. Me7. Must be a salesman? Me8.

I enjoy learning new languages, Mi, si. knowing about astronomy, 'Sup, dude? creating craft sculptures, Nope. creative projects, Yup. figuring out better ways to do things, Always! running/hiking, cooking, Don't forget eating... and the list goes on. But for a while I have lost my passion and direction. Pshyst happens. I may have found what you lost... My passion is going South...

My motivation & energy are low. Hard to do what I need to do, which creates anxiety. Start things but difficult to finish, might come back to it later. AD/HDrs are good startings, but bad enders. So, remain a pointman, and pass it off to the platoon. Or remain a scout/pioneer, and pass it on to the settlers. Don't choke yourself.

Time management for me is doing things on my own schedule. Yup. Late at night.

I Procrastinate, Me9. My solution to procrastination is to wait until the last minute.

very difficult to focus on writing papers. I try using an outline for writing papers but I have such a hard time placing my thoughts on paper. On a savior level of seriousness, I may have a solution for you. I open 8, 9, or whatever (once 30 plus documents on at least 9 or 12 programs, 2 computer's worth). I was the only presenter at a week long conference of 20 individual presenters that got an ovation. I've had the keyboard deck so hot I can't rest my palms on it.

As I'm workinig on one doc (here I'm using the word generically, like saying coke), and an idea pops in for another, I'll switch to, or create a new doc. That way I'm being me w/o the strangulations of straight thinking, and at the end, will have 20 creations completed in about the same time as a nOrmal would take with 20 documents. E.g. 4 or 5 web pages, 2 or 3 powerpoints, 4 or 5 spreadsheets, one or 2 MS Projects, 5 or 6 word docs, 2 or 3 Windows Explorers, a search window or 2, 2 picture editors, an atlas, 1 or 2 adobes, a calculator, a music program. I am RAM heavy. As a matter of fact, since I started this response 2.5 hours ago, I've been working on 4 other projects. Relaxing evening, eh? hehe

I have two Jotto desks in my car, which I consider a rolling office. One is for my laptop, (w/daylight capable display), the other when I'm in the back seat, or for a printer. I'm on GPS all the time (doesn't hurt in court to have a backup), with GPRS/EDGE PC card, so I'm internet capable 80% of my day. I'll average 300 miles / day, and sometimes hire a person just to drive so I can be productive in between stops. I have the display setup as a near HUD, so I've one eye on the road, and the other on the screen. Not only do I have a radar detector (not b/c I speed, but b/c I wiggle), but I've a digital camera spotting silhouettes for me. I'm thinking of picking up a proximity radar, but they're kind of pricey.

It'll drive observers nuts, but it works for me. Did it just last night with some music downloads; and this morning with some neurological studies. I only had 3 documents saved, but on the first I had about 5 topics that I'll go back and split out later. Maybe. At least I got the info, and can word search to find it again. Another reason not to vocal record. I scan my handwritten notes into the computer. I should have a notebook laptop, but...

I recently bought a digital voice recorder so that I can spit out my thoughts before they get over taken by another thought(s). Not me. I have to write or type it down. I never went back and listened to the notes. I'm not an aural learner. If my mind gets caught on something then it is hard to let go of it and I become very detailed oriented. Some call this "hyperfocus".

My ideas and thoughts are always changing as new information and realizations are discovered. Me10.

I have had recent multiple lay offs. I call them getting fired. (I just got fired June 2, 2005. I'm now suing them for ADA violations of ADHD mental disability harassment, non-accommodation, and discrimination). Actually, all my firings (about 10 or 12? out of 23 or more jobs) have ended up being beneficial career moves. A professional headhunter told me that the average job stay is now 3.5 years. My trick was to (and you are young enough to do this), start an entity that exists forever, but take work as it comes and goes. So, truthfully, I can say I've been a CEO for x years, a VP R&D for x-y years, etc. Of my own QuantumYields, Inc. I hear an LLC works pretty good, too. Keep a good track record, and record your successes. Learn to mitigate your failures, so you don't repeat them. E.G. I don't keep making the same mistake, I come up with new ones... One of my bosses that fired me said that. He was complimenting me for being obedient.

My most recent layoff I was told that I was being let go because �I was not the best match for the position even though I had a good work ethic and high intelligence�. I made my last employer over $4M in 2004/2005, and still got fired b/c of incompatibilities with the sales department. I was #1 salesman, too. So I went to work for the competition, and have made my new employer the equivalent of $2M in 2 months... dumb phsysts... it would have saved me all that heartache... I'm also on Cymbalta for seasonal depressions.

Hard to get out and be social and I don't mind being alone (I am also introverted). My best friends are barkeepers... sushi bars...

Relationships struggle. Shut up! Nooo way! How about 30+ girl friends before marriage, and my one wife (hyperfocus) has separated 6 times?

My most recent relationship I sabotaged because it was draining any positive energy that I had and I didn't know of any other way to get out of it (Ironically she is the only one that told me I have major ADD). I some how found away to graduate with a BS in Biochemistry. HOT DAWG! I was a chembio premed, then switched to anthropology, then to microbiology, then to an MBA Ag program, then to plant science, then to soil science, then to crop pathology; finally getting my MS in Plant Sci in 6 years... I am getting my MBA but finding it hard to focus, especially writing papers. Stick to it. You'll earn over $300,000/year in a few years with a bio background and MBA training/experience. Within 30 days I had 5 job offers, of which I turned down 4 'cuz they were only around $100 - $150k/year. One employer/friend said to write my own job description, he'll hire me until retirment, but I turned him down b/c he wanted me to stay local, and I want to continue international agriculture career... I just turned down a headhunter who said she had a $200-250k job as a COO, but I'll earn $250-$300 in ag sales and business development consulting.  I have one class left and I am fearful of it. Fear of the unknown. You've been doing this so long, what if you FAIL!? Don't worry, you will. But, you'll pick yourself up and keep going; learning from your mistake. Don't marry another AD/HD. We attract one another, and two ADrs under the same roof, even within the same company, can be devastating for one, or both. I Constantly feel that I can do so much and that there is a huge well of potential that doesn't get realized. Yup. I've tried partnering w/people or companies that recognize that, and let them turn me loose, while they fill in the gaps. Those that can, do, but none have ever lasted more than 3 years. Yeah, I'm a loose stallion, or a wild cannon, but harness me, and I'll quantum leap you to the next level. Just make sure you're buckled in and have your helmet sealed. BTW, you won't need spurs or gun powder.  There have been many times that I should be some much greater than what I am. But you're okay where you are. I was thirty when I finally graduated grad school. As a child my report cards and the parent teacher conferences pointed out that I needed to focus more. I talked to much with others around me and I day dreamed often. If something doesn't interest me in a classroom setting then I will begin thinking about something else. I tend to think about I carry around a note pad just in case I become bored and need to write. Yup. I carry a laptop, an 8x11 spiral, a clipboard, a 3x5 pocket notebook, 2 pens, sometimes a PDA. I always print. Yup. I am always talking to myself in my mind. Not talking, but thinking. I talk when I'm in a critical thought phase, but it's outloud. My AD/HD counselor heard me once, and said that's a great way to help focus. I am told that when I am deep thought or I am reading or researching and I am interrupted that I am snippy or rude. Yup. It is so hard for me to change gears on the fly. I am a slow, say each word in my minds voice (try this with an organic chemistry text book), but I can retain a lot of information.

At times I use a friend's adderall and I notice an amazing difference. Not legal. Get your own. You know you're own mind, and you can diagnose yourself. You just need the doctor for a prescription, or a second opinion if you wish. There are online ADHD surveys that are the same as when a doc does them, and charges you $350.00 for the diagnosis. You will need a once/month office visit to get your "triplicate" prescription written. ADDerall, Ritalin, Focalin, and others are Category I pharmaceuticals. You won't find them OTC, and stay away from the street meth. It's dirty. Find a local ADHD doc. There's refs for them online. Try CHADD or ADDA .net or .com or .org. I forget... The difference is that I can act on things rather than letting things consume me.

Adderall makes me feel as if things are clearer. Great productive energy that allows me to organize and stay on task. Yup. My mind feels alive with the electricity of ideas and thoughts.

I feel that this medication enhances what I consider as a gift from God. Yup. God knew what He was doing when He created you, and knew He wanted to bless you with ADHD. I take in so much around me and have a huge hunger for learning yet I am organized and I feel very passionate. I can recognize when I am falling into an bad habit but the difference is that I can do something about it when taking adderall. Using medication has opened up a my world.

After spending many hours reading this forum yesterday and experiencing today with out adderall has driven me to see my doctor tomorrow. Yup. I don't have insurance but I am willing to pay the full price for not having to have the feeling of being chained down. Ritalin, a more common subscription for ADHD, at the highest allowable dose is $48/month for generic methylphenidate at Sam's Club pharmacies. My phsrynque dalk charges me $25/mo for the 10 minute visit for the prescription; and $75 once/year for a longer evaluation.  Enough is enough! Welcome to the New World, Neo...

I will keep you posted on my progress...

Hi Caroll,

Welcome to the forum! So how long did it take you to write that? It'll take me a few days to read it... just kidding. I'll do it tonight. Maybe. Get started, at least. :). Anyhow, welcome to the forum. Did I say that already? Don't mind me, I'm a little absent minded person. Okay, ok, I'll tell the truth, I'm a big absent minded person... So, welcome to the forum. Did...? Just kidding... :)

D

Hi, Carol.L, now that Mr. Ornado's very UNfruitfull response is out of the way, I will try to be slightly more supportive!  David--she is in NEED!  Be a mensch, come on . . .

I hope this is slightly more helpful:  I am a very small girl who lived pretty much in the Streets of San Francisco for over three years, albeit I did live inside my Jeep Cherokee in a filthy alley that did not usually tow & was beside an over-full homeless shelter.  I have all my degrees & yada, yada, yada but unfortunately after having my twins & staying home with them I was unemployed when my husband kicked me out.  So I guess my point is this:  Attacking the worst fear first--your son WILL survive, regardless of what happens.  If I can make it, pretty much anyone can.  Besides being without my daughters I almost didn't mind being homeless.  It hurt like hell that my family wouldn't help me (I'm 4O, now) but they are all very "earn your keep & do it yourself" type of people.  Also, it didn't hurt that I'd been self-medicating the ADHD I didn't yet know I had with illicit inhalables.  Anyway, my other question may seem rude, but not sleeping for weeks on end--your son is absolutely not using anything else, correct?  I didn't sleep for three years in a row after we had twins, but I also had chemical help on occasion.  I find it amazing that anyone could do that for weeks on end au natural.  Anyway, it sounds like your son is very close to you & your husband is from the old school, not to mention they're both men.  I find it impossible to pick anyone over my children, yet in hindsight, I have learned that I can't do crap for them without having a strong bond with their dad as a good model of what a marriage should look like.  Okay, none of this makes much sense.  I guess I'm saying the Military might actually be good for your son--I understand not wishing to be murdered in Iraq, etc., but my sister who is the ONLY person in our family perhaps "de-void" of any ADHD symptoms has been in the military (to pay for school--our Dad had the $$ he just believes in us earning everything ourselves) since she was 18 (ROTC--16) and point being that I think the structure must have ridded any ADHD issues she may have had.  She has been on the front lines in Iraq as a surgical nurse, etc. & feels very good about what she does.  She's a Commanding Officer & only 36.  Anyway, you said Military won't take him, so perhaps that rules out other things like Police Dept., etc.  ADHD I thought was not able to be discriminated against.  Anyway (again) I'll end this--just keep praying that God has the right plan for your son & you & even your husband.  Talking about this to him (hubby) & saying that you respect his decisions as much as he respects yours without giving in is an important first step, that needs to be repeated often, I've found.  Mutual admiration & respect can actually work a lot of miracles in a marriage if you're seriously respecting & trying to learn from the other person.  Sorry this took so long--you've probably gotten some real help by now, just wanted to be supportive.  By the way, in San Francisco, I WAS able to get a min. wage paying job at Old Navy, afford to rent a residential hotel room where I shared a bathroom with needle-users & drunks that would be dead by morning so I'd have to step over them on my way out to work, and still had five dollars a day for 99-cent burgers at Carl's Junior.  I had to sell my car & walked to work, & supplemented hungry times with the many dining rooms that feed homeless for free.  It wasn't glamorous, but I did it.  Ironically, my dad runs one of the homeless shelters up here & no one took me seriously that I needed help.  But I managed.  Maybe this will subside the scariest fears when your husband does make him leave.  I understand how difficult this really is.

Carol L.  If your son is good with computers, maybe you could help him get more work.  I am in the IT feild, and I know there are a lot of people out there willing to pay to have someone fix, what your son may consider, simple problems.  Could you work with him to do some advertising?  May be get business cards and put up flyers? 

If he could manage to get 10 hours of work a week and charge $20 an hour, thats $200 a week.  ($20 an hour is not that much for computer work.)  He will probably need help getting started and keeping organized.  And he may end up with a job that is over his head.  But he can always not charge someone when he finds he can't do what they need. 

trying to remember what I did wrong is impossible "where the flaw was" so I make up lies to not make myself feel stupid.AlwaysShot:  I used to make up lies about stuff I never even did because I was more interested in pleasing the people accusing me--is that sick or what?  One time when I was a teenager my parents said "We know what you did wrong & until you tell us yourself you are going to sit on that bench indefinitely"--they called it benching.  So on the third day I decided to say that I took some pills from a girl at school so I could get off the bench & my parents would quit shunning me.  I can't STAND people who won't be up-front with you & keep shi* inside--it seems very selfish to me.  So all the while you're carrying on your day-to-day activities/conversations with them & they're like secretly hating you inside & smiling in your face.

Go get your insurance to find a "mental Health Provider" that specializes in ADHD in your area.  Meds can really help & you sound so miserable.  And don't forget to pray.  God wants you to be happy.

Or it can mean OVER THE COUNTER DRUGS but it probably doesn't in this situation. 

I hope this doesn't confuse you Davido.  I work for a veterinarian and we use OCD but we also have OCD's that lick themselves so much that they make sores. 

DavidO Please don't start licking yourself.   

My daughter went to her counselor yesterday.  I had never stayed while she talked to him.  I stayed this time.  He was trying to talk to her about going to the Boys and Girls Club, which she hates.  He would try to start to talk to her and she would listen for a minute responde to one question then she would bring up a completely different  subject by asking him about something he had in the office.  At the end of the session he said I should have to pay him $2000.00 because she made him work so hard.   She also used a different voice whenever she talked to him about the subject he wanted to talk about.  When she asked him a question she would use her regular voice. 

Okay does this sound usual for all children or at least all ADHD children?  Just asking. 

Lick lick.... hmmmm, not bad!

Oh, yuck! I'ts the aftertaste that gets you...

Okay does this sound usual for all children or at least all ADHD children?  Just asking.[/QUOTE]

Dear_mom,

No, this doesn't sound like AD/HD. Sounds more like something else. Why does she hate the club, and how old is she? What'd the doctor say?

a DadD

Dear_mom,

No, this doesn't sound like AD/HD. Sounds more like something else. Why does she hate the club, she hates the club because she is teased and made fun of and the head of the place doesn't like her.  He doesn't like that when he puts her on the wall for a timeout that she will spend it sitting on her head or having a puppet show with her hands.  He is the Army Sargent yeller type.   and how old is she? just turned 9  What'd the doctor say?  He tried to show her that she gave her power to who ever was making fun of her by trying to make them stop.  He played a game with her where she made fun of the doctor and he tried to make her quit by getting angry and upset.  She of course just laughed and kept going.  When He allowed her to make fun of him and just agreed with what she said she didn't want to keep going.   I think she got the idea but she just didn't want to talk about a difficult subject.  Maybe I should have asked if this was usual for very smart kids. 

a DadD

Definitely NOT in David's case!

HA!  I practically pee'd myself over that one.  Hopefully he can't reach!  Love ya' DavidBaby!

HopeFullmother:  That is totally par for the course, especially for a bright intelligent child, particularly a girl, in my opinion.  If you have any power to do so, keep her going to the doctor--she will begin to develop a "relationship" there--this will instill trust, and bolster communication & honestly open her mind to other possibilities (which smart people always love), and the best thing is it will make her feel WAY MORE CONFIDENT, which it sounds like she needs genuinely:   It's one thing to ACT that way--believe me, I know.  It's the absolute polar opposite to really FEEL that way about yourself.  Does she have a Dad @ home, or father figure or uncle around on a regular basis?  If not, this is even more crucial.  Keep us posted!

I second that, ornado. 

OCD is another one bantied about, but I forget what it means.  davidO,  I never believe you when you say this.  But OCD stands for OBSSESSIVE-COMPULSIVE Disorder.

alwaysHot:  You'll be better soon . . . take the meds when you get them & just do life in baby steps as much as you can handle.  Even if it's only to the next fifteen minutes.  Think up your plan & feel secure, knowing that you are your own Mastermind!  What do they say?  "In life, just showing up (each day, to whatever it is you have to do) is more than half the battle.  By this token phrase, I have been able to keep myself gainfully employed & not pissed off my husband too much.  It is the way I keep the general population from being pissed  at me or having bad things happen that "leave a mark".  Just keep showin' up!

[QUOTE=Deanne]What is DX???[/QUOTE] DX is shorthand for diagnosed.

Like RX is for prescription, DX is for diagnosis.

MX is also used colloquially for medication or medicine.

MX is also used for Mexico. But not around here.

OCD is another one bantied about, but I forget what it means.

Occupational Compulsive Disorder, or SLT

SLT is something like that.

AD/HD is ADHD or ADD.

AD is attention deficit, which can refer to either ADHD or ADD.

There's a lot of players on words around here, so double proof your understanding, which is a recommendation I do not follow myself. I prefer to follow my elf, and to jump conclusions.

I have been suffering from adhd since ive been just a kid, Me2, sort of. I don't suffer from ADHD, I rather get a kick out of it. It has served me well, once I learned how it works and how to harness the benefits, like creativity and energy, and mitigate the detriments, like not finishing things or organizing well. I dont know if it is adhd or a mental disorder. A person can have more than one issue at the same time (co-morbidity), but it is probably a great case of ADHD. Seen a doctor that specializes in it? You wouldn't go to a gynecologist for brain surgery. I am 19 now, I'm a 49r, and been on meds since 42 have had it for god knows how long. ALL your life. One of your parents, or both, have it, too. I suffer from depression dont know if that is from adhd but this is how I feel. Most definitely there is ADHD related depression, b/c of the situations you get into b/c of the ADHD. I call it situational depression, which is quite different from clinical depression, which a result of a chemical imbalance between the nerve cells in your brain. However, so is AD, but of a different, though related, neurotransmitter group, and it is quite possible there is comorbidity in your case. Seen a doctor yet? That specializes in ADHD, not just depression. Some anti-D's are also helpful in AD, but not fully in classic cases. So, you end up taking a couple different meds, like at different times of the day, etc.
    
      Always have negetive thoughts going through my head how stupid I am, what is wrong with me ill never be good at anything. I'm sorry, but you really aren't stupid. Is a nearsighted kid without glasses stupid b/c he can't see the blackboard and what the teacher is writing? Is a polio crippled child stupid b/c he can't keep up with his mates? Is a hearing impaired teenager stupid b/c they can't hear what the teacher is saying? Is an AD person stupid b/c they can't follow through to the end of the conversation that the teacher is saying? The teacher is the stupid one for not paying attention to every student in their class, assuming that there is a common denominator. Bah. So, get the future lawyer some corrective glasses. Get the future President of the United States a wheel chair. Get the future engineer a hearing aid. Get the future artist, scientist, inventor, & creator, some Ritalin. Can't even name half the things I think about on a daily bases, constantly think about life after death careful here, this is a sign of depression (but I personally believe in life after death) or anything said I have a negetive thought for, happyness is hard to come by. Life is like that, seems to steal joy. I remember a puppet in Sunday school named Joy Stealer, and he sure tried. But rarely succeeded, if one knew how to deal with situations that are tough.

    I always am interupting people in the middle of what they are saying, and I talk way to much once I get going I cant stop and feel stupid at some of the things I say cause I cant keep focused on the task im trying to do. So to entertain myself I just talk and say random things in which are stupid movies, tv, freinds in the middle of important tasks. Me2. With a big 2. So find a job that allows for that, and you'll excel.

    I misplace everything and am always second guessing myself, at work im always cought doing something wrong. Yup. So develop coping mechanisms. That's what we're here for. We share ideas as to what's worked for us. And you can pick and choose for yourself, b/c some you'll like, and others you won't. And you won't need them all. And then trying to remember what I did wrong is impossible "where the flaw was" so I make up lies to not make myself feel stupid. Or to get your way, or what you want. I do it to. Not good, but...I'm working on it. When people are talking to me I must listen carfully at everything there saying which isent an easy task, "does'nt quite click". I take freakin' notes during arguments...I carry 2 pens, 2 notepads, a laptop, and a PDA when I can remember to charge it up. When it comes to focusing in on things like reading or something, my mind just stops thinking and I goes into a somewhat mental daydream. Very common AD thing. So I have 6 or 7 things I'm reading, and it'll take me a month, but eventually I'll read them all, and in the same way I scattered my attention reading the books, they'll accrete when needed and I'll have what I need at the time I need it. And if I've forgotten something, then the ADHD steps in and creates a solution with insufficient data. Intuitiveness. Where my mind is resting itself in the middle of a task. I feel almost detached from all my surroundings people talking, boxes moveing, draws shutting, bird chirping. Yeah, me2. Sometimes my kids'll have to say my name several times, or wave their hand, or shake me to get me to snap out of it. I call it drifting the riff (brain in neutral).

    It is like being in another world, that's my best way to describe it.It is. And properly harnessed, normal people can't keep up. There's some fear in that for them, so they tend to be misunderstanding and overcontrolling of ADs around them. Which only notches up the crank on us. Nothing feels real everything to me is just a thought in my mind. As if I dont exist, a colour form, leforic, in so many words the best way I could describe it is detached from humanity. Careful there, again that's more depression related, I think. Therefore I am. I think. It seems when I drink it fixes these things not completely but it does help, makes me more aware, confident, and relaxed. It will. But it can lead to other problems, like bad livers. We call it self-medicating, which is an subconsious way of treating our symptoms. My way was with drugs, and adrenaline rushes. Getting the cops to chase me was my favorite, and not getting caught. Or if caught, getting out of it. I see myself becomeing an alcoholic therefor I must get to the bottom of this I can't live like this any longer.

    If anyone else is liveing the same lifestyle, or has please fill me in on how you eased it learned about it, take my meds, talk to others like this or even cured it, I'm sure there's those'll claim miracle cures, but the miracle comes from perspective, and the energy to stick to the coping mechanisms as part of the solutions. I dont take any medication for it but if it works I sure as hell will this has been such a burden my entire life from as long as I can remember. Go see a doc, Kid. You'll do fine.

Thank you for your time.   You're welcome. Thanks for trusting us.[/QUOTE]

Hey, Lilo, I believe I fully understand where you're coming from.  The only way I got good grades & covered my ADHD behaviour was through fear & shame.  And that's BS.  Those two negative factors may be great motivators but they have nasty repercussions as you age, I assure you.  Not healthy at all unless you start denouncing them NOW.  I'm forty & still wonder precisely what age I need to be to not worry what my parents think, or smoke a cigarette in public without having to apologize to the world for my irresponsible, abberant behaviour.  

Two flags jump right out as possibilities:  Your mom/Teachers see ADHD as a form of "mental retardation"--nothing your own mother would want to acknowledge since I assume you came from her & there's the biological thread (that would mean her having to admit she may have it too--& a fear reaction like that can be mean & nasty when parents don't want to accept certain things--believe you me)--the other is your mom's a TEACHER--wouldn't your having ADHD basically proclaim to all the world that her chosen profession, and thusly her performance in such, is "a failure" because she's a teacher & you're not already discovering Pi & Rocket Science? 

Hang tight--we will support you!

Find that Lady and give her a big for all of us!

And a O of 

!

Hi Lilo,

May I quote you on that?

I'm kind 'an ADvocate, and this si the message I preach.

Thank you sooooo much for sharing this.

U R NOT stupid.

U R Precious!



I am not stupid. I am precious...

...but to whom?

Being ADD is soooo lonely, isn't it?

[Well, now maybe it's her way of dealing with an uncomfortable situation, and she's like avoiding the pain it causes. This is not a safe place for her. This is okay for a child, but can lead to issues when she's older. I would reconsider putting her in stressful or traumatic environments without your personal supervision for awhile. Did you ask her why she was doing it? 

Yes! she said she wasn't doing anything.   I think you are right on all counts.  I have not put her into the boys and girls club at this time but as I am a single mother this is a difficult thing to keep up.  I am going to have to put her in because I can't afford to pay for daycare and can't stay home with her.  I have a friend watching her after school for a few weeks but as my car needs work and new tires I am afraid that is out soon.

Help! I scored a 44!  I haven't had as much problems as most of you but I still Scored a 44!  I hate to see what Jaz's score would be.  

 Friday at work someone talked to me and handed me a chart but I don't even remember them doing this because I was thinking about a Med order that I had to put in for the clinic.  I felt horrible and worried about it all weekend.  Couldn't sleep well and worried except when I had worked myself into numbness.   I do things like that all the time.  If I am thinking about something everything goes out of my mind. 

You know, this is going to sound funny, but it's really true, I think. We were joking around somewhere around here a/b not being able to sleep at night, and I said it's b/c the thoughts that we started thinking a/b all day long and got lost are just now finding their way back home, b/c we're not initiating any new thoughts that pushed out the lost thoughts that are keeping us awake.

Just wait 'til you finish hyperfocusing, and instead of counting sheep, you'll be tracking thoughts.

[QUOTE=Hopefull_mother][QUOTE=Davidornado] Well, now maybe it's her way of dealing with an uncomfortable situation, and she's like avoiding the pain it causes. This is not a safe place for her. This is okay for a child, but can lead to issues when she's older. I would reconsider putting her in stressful or traumatic environments without your personal supervision for awhile. Did you ask her why she was doing it?  [/quote]Yes! she said she wasn't doing anything.   I think you are right on all counts.  I have not put her into the boys and girls club at this time but as I am a single mother this is a difficult thing to keep up.  I am going to have to put her in because I can't afford to pay for daycare and can't stay home with her.  I have a friend watching her after school for a few weeks but as my car needs work and new tires I am afraid that is out soon.[/QUOTE]

I'm sorry things are difficult for you all. I trust things will work out. Best wishes. Keep a close eye on her, and ask her daily how things went. If anything feels amiss to you, look into it.

I'm confused.  My score was 18O.  But only 29 in the "severe" category, so maybe that's what you guys are talking about?

Definitely NOT in David's case!

HA!  I practically pee'd myself over that one.  Hopefully he can't reach!  Love ya' DavidBaby!

[QUOTE=Hopefull_mother]No, this doesn't sound like AD/HD. Sounds more like something else. Why does she hate the club, she hates the club because she is teased and made fun of and the head of the place doesn't like her.  He doesn't like that when he puts her on the wall for a timeout that she will spend it sitting on her head or having a puppet show with her hands.  He is the Army Sargent yeller type.   and how old is she? just turned 9  What'd the doctor say?  He tried to show her that she gave her power to who ever was making fun of her by trying to make them stop.  He played a game with her where she made fun of the doctor and he tried to make her quit by getting angry and upset.  She of course just laughed and kept going.  When He allowed her to make fun of him and just agreed with what she said she didn't want to keep going.   I think she got the idea but she just didn't want to talk about a difficult subject.  Maybe I should have asked if this was usual for very smart kids.[/QUOTE]

Well, now maybe it's her way of dealing with an uncomfortable situation, and she's like avoiding the pain it causes. This is not a safe place for her. This is okay for a child, but can lead to issues when she's older. I would reconsider putting her in stressful or traumatic environments without your personal supervision for awhile. Did you ask her why she was doing it?

here i am still living with my parents

Lilo--PS:  I would TOTALLY still live with my parents if they'd let me.  Except I have kids & a husband--but if I were still in school & getting to wait tables.  I MISS being a child--I never wanted to stop.  Some would say that I never have stopped.  I hate stopping anything.

 and doing a job that only requires a high school diploma.. 

I am a RECEPTIONIST at a Law Firm, albeit #47 out of the top 1OO rated by Fortune Magazine, but I am just a receptionist.  Who's "wasting" all her college.  But I don't see it that way.  I love to serve people & welcome & host them & accomodate.  And I like the pretend "security" of having a 9-6 job--it makes me feel like a Grown-Up & appear responsible to others.  I feel I'm incredibly "responsible" anyway, but it's not enough.  I have to have the appearance of it as well, due to the insecurities I still have yet to shed.

You are not alone--don't ever forget--you are as great as you really know yourself, deep down inside--without anyone ELSE'S opinion.

Lilo--you're right--your mom perhaps shouldn't be bragging if her own daughter does not feel comfortable enough with her own mother to be able to tell her incredibly pertinent & initially upsetting news like your diagnosis.  I really feel for you. 

I want you to feel so positive about how great ADHD can be that you don't care who knows and can force some open-mindedness into those around you who apparently are still very much in need of being less judgmental and look at themselves first.  I don't understand someone who is dispassionate with their children.

Hang in there, sweeetie!  You should be PROUD.  You belong to a very elite club!

I was just diagnosed at 26 a week and a half ago with adult ADHD.......................

I came through a long road to get there and figure out what the problem was. I was in early childhood classes for 2 years. (when i was 5 and 6) The teachers noted my inattention since I used to space out in activities. Or I'd be preoccupied with some of the toys while everyone else came into the circle or at the table when playtime was over. A lot of times, they had to get me to come back and it took me awhile. Both had to drop what they were doing with other kids to get me to come back. I was also very hyper and threw a lot of temper tantrums and cried a lot. Id play "too rough" a lot of the times according to them and had to "calm down."

They had to work one on one with me a lot since I got too difficult to handle in a group of kids. Lots of times if something upset me in group, I would throw a fit right there with the other kids there or I'd be spacing out beyond belief, so thats why they did one on one. I also had speech problems and had to go to speech classes up until 5th grade. I had to wear braces for 3 years on my legs since I had inward feet and to straighten them. I went through a lot of torment from kids throuugh then and through kindergarten. (part of it)

I don't know if this was because of the 80s or uneducated faculty at the time, but I hadnt got diagnosed then, to my knowledge with adhd and didnt see a doctor.

I can remember my school years just being horrible. Tormented by peers for my temper tantrums, and being bullied on a continous basis. I was called "didy diapers" and "spaz" and "crybaby" a  lot.

Through school, I had the inattentive problems, I walked out of classes or skipped classes at times since I needed to move due to my hyperactivity. I hid out in bathrooms and media centers, in the playground, and caroused the whole school when I just had to go to the bathroom and making noises and faces at people in classes. Teachers always had to get me back. My procrastination was awful for getting things in and mom had to often do them with me or did it by herself. I only did the stuff I was interested in. She had to stand over me like a drill seargent just to get me to do things and I lied to her about my homework lots since I always got wrapped up in  something eventually and forgot and it was the worst torture. I forgot to do chores and let the dogs out on lots of occaisons too due to distraction. I was the queen of disorganization and everyone had a hang up with that. And  I aways lost assignments or when i got home realized they were there. My room was disorganization city too....everything was really.

I always embarrased people like Mom and peers with my hyperacitivity and lost friends over it. My remaining friends had to baby sit me in public practically and keep me under control.  And say if I wasnt good, we wouldnt be going shopping next time, etc etc... I was told to get out of peoples houses and public places due to my hyperacitivity.

I was also lil ms chatterbox dubbed by my mother and interrupted a lot of times with people or blurted things out or spoiled surprises as a result. People in and out of the family hated it. I was always on the go and out a lot as I became an older kid. Mom had to round me up plenty of times from public places due to my being on the go too much, or i got grounded for violating my curfew a ton. Sometimes I still went out since i needed to go.  I've also been impulsive with money and spending since I got my hands on money practically for the first time.I got into a few physical fights with kids due to my temper and them provoking me and some in house suspensions. For every other discrepancy they always sent me to the guidance counselour through school. ANd i had to sit and talk with him or her about my behavior.  And, parent teacher conferences at times.....where she got called in...fun...

I was also in 1999 admitted to a psych unit due to a break down. I had to go to a group home/ supervised living for thus far 7 years. (Im moving in a month out of there finally though) I also did a lot of SI from 13 and up and told i had major depression as well. I tried to k*ll myself a ton of times too. Starting at 11 and up on and off. Im also a PTSDr and have panic disorder due to  a lot of ab*se in and out of the family throughout my life. I also was an alcholholic/addict from 16 and up as well. I am now 5 years off alcholol and 3 years drug free. I am in the recovering phase with these things and havent SId for 4 years either and am working thru the ab*se issues. It was a hard life and i almost didnt make it many times as a result.

I was on meds for these things when I realized I still had the attention/hyper problems all along. ANd its whats holding me back and causing my work problems as well and into my personal life. I tried so many times to fix it myself and thought the other meds would fix it but they didnt.

I went to a certified add tester at my counseling office finally and we did the test and she took the history. And thru the test and the determination and how early iit started before the other problems she concluded that I am ADHD as well and that this was the one factor going untreated that may have spun off the other stuff. That the ADHD possibly may have been masked when i went into the mental health system and that the faculty in the schools werent educated back then like they should have been. My mom hated doctors too and never took me there. She with everyone else looked at it more like a character flaw and something i can get over. And that it was all my fault in their eyes.

I am relieved now that I know whats wrong. I'm going to be getting on the medication next Monday finally for it when i see my psychiatrist....

Wow. What a story. I haven't written mine yet...

I keep putting it off, b/c it'd take too long. I like short vignettes...

Actually, I started writing it about 8 years ago, then got sorta distracted...

Quit killing yourself, and with this diagnosis you will find your life a lot more understandable. Make sure you take meds for all your disorders, but realize that some may be combined, or others discontinued. I'm on 4 myself.

Read a book by Dr. Hallowel, 'Driven to Distraction'. It's a good first book on AD/HD.

Here's some links people seem to recommend around here. The first one is an AD/HD survey. Take it honestly before you start meds, then about 3 months later. Let us know the difference. I take it when I remember to when I change meds.

http://my.webmd.com/medical_information/health_tools/alpha_t oc.htm?z=2000_00103_1113_rx_02

http://www.newideas.net/add_types.htm

http://www.add.org/articles/index.html

http://my.webmd.com/content/article/63/72138.htm?z=5020_8100 0_0000_ta_01

Did they recommend you see a doctor immediately? Do not pass go, do not go forward, do not drive machinery under the influence, etc.? I think I scored 48 myself on the test, but that was after medication. However, my medication is diurnal, b/c it wears off in the PM.

Good luck!

By the way, here's what ADHD looks like from my point of view...

 +  *  x  !

 #  ~  =

I was very recently diagnosed with ADHD.  I am going to be 39 on the 30th of this month.  I knew there was something wrong/different about me for a very long time now.  I finally brought this to my Dr.'s attention about 5 years ago.  He quickly prescribed me meds for depression (prozac,zoloft)and the list goes on.  I told him over and over I did not think I suffered from depression but....blah blah blah.  He kept giving me the same treatment, he just wasnt listening to me. 

I finally found a new Dr.  He asked me tons of questions over the course of a few visits.  He sent me to be evaluated for ADHD and I was like WHAT?

I went back to see my regular Dr. and walked out of his office with a prescription for Adderall XR.  I dont think I have ever been this focused.  I actually cleaned one room at a time start to finish for the first time in my life.  The only thing is I feel like I start getting scatter brained midway through my day.  I am on 10mg now, but I have only been taking it for about a month now.  Can anyone tell me if this is normal and if so what did your Dr. do when this happened?

I think a part of me was always fighting taking medication because I felt it's somehow cheating, that I should be able to get things done if I just had enough self-will and determination. I *know*, intellectually, that my ADHD is real and biological, but emotionally...

When I first began taking medication for ADHD, I was overwhelmed by the amount of quietness in my head. It was extremely scarey and made me hesitant to do anything. For the first time in my life I could actually hear my own thoughts without interruption. It's difficult to explain but I will try to explain by an analogy. It was like sitting at a rail road crossing watching as the train goes by and trying to read the graffiti written on each car, wondering what’s in each car, how long is the train and how many cars are there, does the conductor like his job and I wonder how does he get back home? The train disappears in the distance, some horn blows, the lights green and I can't remember what my last thought was....... Driving forward waiting on my mind to catch up! So I can get back to what I was supposed to be doing. I have become accustomed to the diverting traffic in my head, but now on medication the traffic has come to an immediate halt. But, because of my experience, I am afraid it might be a trick to get me in the middle of the road, where the train would come speeding down the track and kill me. With Adderall I have gained the ability to stay focused and trust that I’m not going to lose concentration and get hit and learned that it is safe. Not panic and start passing cars and run to the other side of the road in the wrong direction or wait for other cars to go by, so that I could make it to the next parking lot to pull over and get my thoughts together.

I started looking into ADD a few months ago and said "this is just like me." It angers me sometimes that I wasn't helped a long time ago. I hated school, hated my job, never really had friends ( my way or no way), and my parents were so unaware of my problem. Of course, my self esteem lacks, because I was always told that I was lazy, a dreamer, always take the easy way out, overly sensitive, never finish anything, unapproachable, etc. The knowledge coupled with the medication has given me the freedom to be able to change. In essence, however, medication does not change one; there is still work to be done. I wish that it were like a magic wand because I struggle in many areas of coping with what some view as basics.

I have been doing a lot of reading on the internet, message boards and chat. Trying to gather as much information as possible on how to implement some necessary changes, adjust to the quietness and comparing medication dosing and reactions. There are many POTENTIAL risks involved with stimulants as with ANY medication. I don't want to be scared off from them just because of the horror stories I have read and heard. When I read of people taking 10mg a day and having bad side effects, it makes me think twice about asking for a dosage increase. Although there are far more success stories than failures. On October 3 I will be 40 years old, I was diagnosed a few months ago with ADHD. I am currently prescribed Adderall xr 30 mg/once daily. I'm 6'5'' and weigh 235lbs. I have been involved in starting my own business the last year. I wake up around 3:30/4:00a.m. go to the gym and out the door to work by 7:00/7:30a.m. Business moves at the speed of life, so I never know when I am going to have a long day or a really long day.

Within the past few months it has become easier to recognize when the medication is increasing my concentration and focus and when it is wearing off. Taking my medication as prescribed (1x30mg) the past three months, I’ve experienced about 5 hrs of focus and concentration max before I start to hear the train coming. More often than not my business requires me to work late physically and mentally. I tried taking my dose later in the day, but that’s like putting out a forest fire with a squirt gun, might as well let it burn its self out. I feel on and off again in the afternoon starting around 1p.m./2p.m. The release of the medication is unpredictable especially after the first initial hrs of focus. Taking it later in the day just seems as if the hrs of focus are spread apart (not all in a row) and this effect seems to make me feel unusually tired. So, I have realized that taking one 30mg xr is just not enough for the entire day. I understand the extended release capsules were designed for easier dosage control for children and to control potential abuse of the medication. With my financial situation being more of a concern than the potential to abuse my medication, I will not be able to continue my treatment if I have to take more Adderall xr. The cost of #30 Adderall xr 30mg is $125 and there is not a generic substitute. Through my research online and asking the pharmacy, I have found that the cost of regular Adderall and Ritalin is much less and there is a generic substitute. I am not interested in taking non-stimulant substitutes. My doctor added 20mg Ritalin, I am taking one daily at approximately 5pm. The Ritalin is helping fill the "afternoon gap" and the generic brand cost much less.

I've had a really good few months: Clarity, depression better (because I can think better), less squirming, better concentration, etc. Not a single bad effect, and I have had no adverse effects from the med. In fact, in my opinion I'm calmer, sleep better, coffee consumption reduced dramatically, my appetite is fine ( not taking Zantac on a daily basis) and certainly not having any negative effects on my sex life ( because we get along better). I exercise (cardio and weights) almost every day. My personal relationships as well as social have improved dramatically. When I hear of these horror stories people tell about Adderall it leaves me to believe that they must not suffer from the same thing I have for the last 40yrs. The medication creates an instant quietness in my head which has given me the ability to attempt to change many of my ingrained coping with ADHD mechanisms... I realize the medication is not magic. Yet, it is so much better than it ever was prior to the medication. Now I know, I have spent most of my life unaware of my behavior, and these behaviors have greatly impacted the quality of my life and the lives of those around me. For example my poor time management, confusion, interrupting others, poor study skills and even overeating have fostered low self-esteem and ill with others.

When it comes down to it, I personally believe that every individual should weigh their options and choose what's best for them. For me, it is to take Adderall. Yes, there are many potential side effects from it, but you only get one chance at life, and for me, I would rather spend my life at least somewhat "put-together."

Quite frankly, every drug has its dangers and side effects..it's a matter of what works for a particular person.

I'm finally being treated and I'm looking forward to a better and successful life ;)

David Mauller

Thursday, September22, 2005

My stepson is on Metadate XR and Risperdal for his ADHD. His father just found out yesterday that he has been having seizures and hallucinating at school. We also just found out the mother dont take him to the doctor like she should, she just calls the doctor and tells him that he has been "acting up" and that he needs his dosage upped. Well, the stupid doctor does it without even talking to or seeing the little boy. He is only 8 yrs old and small for his age. The mother refuses to let the father talk to his doctor about what is wrong with him. We only know what SHE wants us to know. She even had the child put in a mental hospital when he was 6. She lied to him and told him he wasnt staying. She told him that she was going downstairs to get her a soda, she left. When he realized she left, he cried. Begging her to come back. When we went to see him the weekend we were allowed to visit, he begged and cried for us to take him home. The doctor asked my husband who we were, he was shocked to see us. He said he was told that his father has nothing to do with him. This one doctor did tell us what was wrong, he said the child is watching to much tv and not getting outside to play with kids his own age.

Maybe he does need to be on med's for his ADHD, but I do not believe this child is bipolar or schizophrenia. I think the child needs attention. He gets NONE from him mother. I love this child like he is my own. We havent seen him since June and we have a courtdate for the 4th of Oct. and this time, we are suing for custody. I am taking him to a doctor who will listen to the child and not the adult. The child knows what is going in on his mind, not me or his father. He knows what he is feeling, WE dont. I am getting his eyeglasses that his mother refuses. I will do what a mother should do for their child. I will not ignore him, I will listen to him and try to help him. Well, enough about my complaining.

when I landed in the pysch ward the nurses eventually had me looking after the other patients...really peeved me off..I had to take them for walks..and wait for them to get ready..almost drove me crazy (wait..wasn't that why I was in there in the first place?)

Donde esta BALANCED ?  I thought this is where you said he was . . . PS:  daretheboys is looking for you on "Warning, claims ADHD doesn't EXIST", just so ya' know how popular you are.

Is anyone on Welbutrin?  I'd like to know how long it takes before you can sleep again at night!  Also, all of you who take adderall - aren't you afraid of the heart damage they say it can cause?  I was told by my doctor that it CAN (but not necessarily) do the same damage phen phen (sp?) did to peoples hearts.  Does that worry anyone or was it false information?

Is anyone on Welbutrin?  I'd like to know how long it takes before you can sleep again at night!  Also, all of you who take adderall - aren't you afraid of the heart damage they say it can cause?  I was told by my doctor that it CAN (but not necessarily) do the same damage phen phen (sp?) did to peoples hearts.  Does that worry anyone or was it false information?

[/QUOTE]

Wellbutrin has some mild stimulating properties. Some people require the use of a hypnotic agent to help them sleep, but generally only for the first week or so of treatment. And regarding Phen-fen, is was a combination of fenfluramine and phentermine. Phentermine is still available by prescription. Fenfluramine was the component related to primary pulminary hypertension and was pulled off the market. Dextroamphetamine has been in use since the 1930's and is a very safe drug at prescribed doses. Cardiac arrythmia and other signs of cardiac toxicity surface generally only at high, recreational doses. That is not a blanket statement, as every so often an individual will display hypersensitivity to the drug, but overall it is very safe. Once fenfluramine was linked to heart valve trouble, it was quickly pulled off the market. Amphetamines, on the other hand, have been available for over 70 years! The risks are slim at therapeutic doses.

Strattera sucks, from what I've heard.  Try Adderall/XR.  It's superior.  I've unfortunately only heard bad things/experiences about Strattera, mostly on this board.  There was a topic thread regarding it as well, so you may want to plug that into the search on the first message page thingy.  I only found out I had ADHD when I was 33--all the time before I just thought I was energetic & brilliant with the ability to hyperfocus like a prodigy!  Welcome to our elite association!

[QUOTE=MickeyBlueEyes]

Hello, I'm a new-bee...

I have been diagnosed with ADHD now for 3 weeks and have been placed on Straterra.  My story starts with extreme adrenaline needs.  I have always been pretty much an adrenaline junkie and this has helped in some of my endeavors including work.  I am in a high-end sales role that requires me to thrive on stress and the thrill of the hunt and closing of a large deal.  I always thought I was just Type A.  More recently, I have noticed that I have trouble with focusing, can't sit still in meetings, have tried some illicit drugs and basically just destructive behavior.  I guess I have always had these symptoms, but I never NOTICED them.  My wife (newly married for the first time after 35 years) thought that I might have ADD.  I made an appointment and after several appointments, he thought that I was nearly textbook for ADHD. 

My problem now is that I am on Strattera and I feel so fatigued and slow.  Almost as if I am in a euphoric state.  I am focused and have no desire for adrenaline seeking activities or drug use, but I just don't feel right.  I am so tired and since I have been on Strattera, I just have no sexual desire. 

I am not sure which is better.....

Anyone else feel this way on Strattera?

[/QUOTE]

I was just diagnosed with ADD at the begining of this month. My doctor has me on Adderall xr 20mg. and it has dramatically improved my focus and it has not made me feel tired. I have only been on it for 2 weeks though.

I have really found this board helpful. I can relate to so many people on here. In addition to my problem with focus, I also am very spontaneous, unable to make plans, I'm indecisive and find myself involved with dangerous hobbies which involve lots of adrenaline. I forget what I was talking about, while I'm talking... and sometimes feel overwhelmed with my thoughts. Almost like I'm unable to seperate them? Overall, I have always felt unorganized.  Like you, I just thought that my symptoms were normal for me.

I would go back to you doctor and ask if there is an alternative medication that you could try. I'm not a doctor, but Adderall sounds like it would help you too. Ask your doctor!

Best of Luck!

Daniel   

i think blinks needs professional help.  or maybe he's got a problem with anger.  he seems to have a problem. 

blink:  I dare you to take it to the other site!!!!  http://youradhdhome.proboards55.com/index.cgi

you wouldn't like it too much.  we don't hold any thing back over there.  there is no threat to get kicked off. 

btw; you are lucky chatters isn't on here today, you'd wish you had never said any thing at all. 

Oh boy are you guys scaring me.  Does any one have good reports on Straterra?

  My daughter is on it and she seems to be doing fine.  She is happy and active.  In fact she is so happy and active we had to put her back on the Adderal.  I give her the STratera at night and she takes Adderal on school days.  When she doesn't take the Adderal she is very happy active and talks a mile a minute. This is with Straterra only.  The good thing is she still eats when she doesn't take Adderal.  When she took the Adderal by its self I could not get her to get ready in the Morning.   We are talking full on melt down.  She would have to be taken to the special Difficult room until her Adderal kicked in well.  It made dropping her off at school H***.  she is sooooo much better now.   I really don't want to rock a working boat but would rather have her raising H** than ill from a med. 

Do you wonder why you are a "mess, emotionally and physically"?

Maybe it is because your whole family is on drugs.

Psychiatry IS A PSEUDOSCIENCE you know.  Do you still belive your psychiatrist?  Is he REALLY HELPING you or your child?  Or is there one more drug to try?

Maybe he will prescribe some antidepressants to you (sounds like you NEED THEM!)

Eric Harris of was on the antidepressant LUVOX when he perpetrated the COLUMBINE MASSACRE.  Andrea Yates of Houston was on antidepressants when she drowned her four children.  The doctor of the ten-year-old Lohstroh boy increased his dose of PROZAC just before he shot his father.  Yates and Lohstroh rot in jail (perhaps rightfully so) but their quack doctors are absolved of any responsibility whatsoever.  Excuse me, but these people were taking their medications AS PRESCRIBED by their quack doctors, MEDICINES THAT WERE SUPPOSED TO HELP THEM!!!  Why do the so-called "professionals" escape justice???

Binks

ADHD is a BULLsh*t "diagnosis".

Sharftein of the APA admitted on national TV that there is no "TEST" for ADHD.  So, if there is no test, how do you know if you "have it"?

Binks

Binks - you DO know there are sites for scientologists out there already??  Perhaps your little aliens in your brain are controlling you right now - better go get some help from your fellow L.Rons!

Look - I don't like to jab like that but this is a site for people who BELIEVE in ADHD ok?? If you don't - there is a place for you - www.ritalinkills.com, et. al.

We know what we and our loved ones have - you don't know what psychosis you have but I could guess.

Don't worry- someone will have alerted the boys in white coats and you can find out what the pseudoscience of psychology is all about - okie?

- Glen

Binks,

You are so full of it.  My MOTHER TRIED TO DROWN US WHEN I WAS 5.  SHE WAS NOT ON MEDS.  SHE THOUGHT THAT SHE WAS SAVING US FROM THE EVILS OF THIS WORLD.  SHE THOUGHT THAT DRUGS AND DOCTORS WERE EVIL.  MY TWO SISTERS AND I ALMOST DIED BECAUSE OF THIS BELIEF SYSTEM.  MY MOTHER IS NOW ON MEDICATION WHICH ALLOWS HER TO HANDLE THE WORLD AND BE A PART OF MY LIFE.  I WOULD NOT ALLOW HER NEAR MY DAUGHTER IF SHE WASN'T ON MEDS NOW AND YOUR FOOLISH RANTING IS NOT GOING TO CHANGE MY MIND SO GO RANT ON SOME OTHER WEB SITE.  

 ANDREA YATES WAS NOT ON MEDS.  SHE SHOULD HAVE BEEN BUT INSTEAD OF MEDICATIONS SHE WAS ON RELIGION. SHE WAS SURE PRAYER WOULD HELP HER NOT MEDS OR DOCTORS.   IF YOUR READ THE PAPER YOU WOULD KNOW THAT!

Glen, 

I'm not a scientologist.

f**k You.  You don't like to jab?  But you already jabbed.

We'll see were this all ends up, when the little boys in white coats will be coming for you and your pathetic drugged kid.

ROFLMAO Binks!  You are SO funny!  Keep it coming - I needed a good laugh.  Havent you noticed that you're the ONLY one spouting filth and idiocy??

If you aren't scientology (I think you are - ask your alien buddy ok?) - then you're probably NRA.  Oh no - it wasn't access to guns that caused columbine - it was antidepressents!! oh NOOOO!! LOL

Damn - you guys always say the exact same stuff.  Kid goes on shooting spree - not the guns no that's too easy - the fact that noone was listening to the kid and instead went to an easy out might have something to do with it? 

Boy, I really needed this - thanks for the chuckles.

Hopefull_mother

Sorry, Andrea Yates WAS on antidepressants, and you didn't address the OTHER examples I cited.  But, alas, there are many more besides these three that I cited...

People, repeat after me - Pychiatrists are QUACKS!!!

Binks

people - repeat after ME - your fellow brother in ADHD - Binks is a KOOK  - Binks is a KOOK. 

Have no fear - I've alerted the proper authorities.  Our freedom from Kookery is near.

- Glen

I dont know if the medicine has something to do with people shooting other people or mothers drowning their own kids. But I do know that the doctors get a "kickback" from the drug company for prescribing these med's. If this is what helps my stepson, then good. But what happens when they are causing him to have seizures? To hallucinate?

I think it is his mother who needs to be on the med's. She is an abusive mother who tells the little boy that all her anger towards him is his fault because he was born and she didnt want him. The sad part is, he believes it. But he is only 8.

I found out about these kickbacks when I applied for a job working for a pharmaceeutical company. It was for an ADHD medicine. I dont want to mention the company.  I remember what it done to my stepson. I purposely blew the interview. We even got a bonus for each doctor who prescribed the med's.

I dont want to cause problems here. I am here just for info on the different med's and the interact with different people. Thanks for all the info. It has been very helpful.

lol Glen.   Oh and Binks she was suppose to be on meds but was NOT Taking them.  She also was being bounced from one Doctor to another with no real consistancy.  NO one was watching out for her properly.  

 No one says all meds work for everyone.  If you have been paying attention we all are saying you have to be responsible for making sure your child has the RIGHT MEDICATION.  We pay attention to how our children feel.  WE ARE ADVOCATES FOR THE HEALTH AND WELL BEING FOR OUR CHILDREN.  IF THEY NEED MEDS THEN THEY WILL HAVE THEM.  IF THEY DON'T WORK WE WILL TAKE THEM OFF OF THEM.  BUT THE FIRST THING THAT WE WILL DO IS LISTEN TO OUR CHILDREN.  I TALK TO MY CHILD EVERY DAY.  I SPEND AT LEAST 2 HOURS LISTENING TO HER.  HOW MUCH TIME HAVE YOUR PARENTS SPENT WITH YOU?   AS RUDE AS YOU ARE I WOULD GUESS NOT MUCH. 

Have no fear - I've alerted the proper authorities.  Our freedom from Kookery is near.

- Glen[/QUOTE]

Hey Glen,

Naw, binks is a psychiatrist...

This was a previos post I posted without seeing this post.  Sorry.  Here's my story and I'm stickin to it.  ha ha  Been on Adderall 20 MG X2 a day for a week and everything is much better so far!

Hello, I am new to the board and also to the adhd world.  I apologize that this is a long post, but if you could read it, I would really appreciate it.  I have read just about every post on this forum, and have to say I really don't know if anyone really knows the truth about adult adhd.  I am a 29 year old male who has just recently been (self) diagnosed with adhd.  I actually did tons of research on it for weeks after I talked to a friend who has had it since she was little and said I should. These are the symptoms I have:  difficulty concentrating on one thing at a time, great difficulty remembering peoples names just 30 minutes after meeting them, difficulty remembering things my wife has asked me to do for her, spacing out whenever someone is talking, or finishing their sentences for them.  Coming home from work in the morning and thinking I have so much to do, but don't know exactly what, and I don't know where to start.  An overall feeling that no matter how much I do, there is always so much more to do.  I have many of the other symptoms that go along with add/adhd, as well, but some are more prevalent that others.  I am a happy person and don't have many of the symptoms that go along with depression, or anxiety other than what is caused by the other symptoms.  I pretty much told my friend that I felt I may have the same thing going on, so she let me take one of her adderall XR's and told me to see what it did for me, then go to her neuroligist and speak to him.  I took the adderall with some reservations, and I have to tell you, it made me feel like I haven't felt in years after just one dose.  It was almost like I was waking up after years of going in circles with my mind.  I immediately started remembering things during the day a lot better.  I started to reflect on my life as being the good life it is, I started to feel like listening to people, and talking while looking at them and focusing while they where saying something instead of just shaking my head and straying.  I felt like I had a plan for every thing I had to do that day, including cleaning the house, errands, etc, and wondered what was so hard about that before.  I was in a better mood, and had a lot more patience with things that normally would have made me stir crazy.  I could go on and on about what it did, but most of you probably already know that.  Here's the problem I have:  I never was diagnosed with adhd as a child or adolecent.  My parents are not diagnosed with add/adhd, though I feel my mom has some of both, and my dad more of the add part, because a big one they do is interrupt people or just space out when you're talking to them, and you can tell they're not paying attention, along with some of the other symptoms, although not as many as me, at least I don't know about them.   Also, my mom has always done things at a million miles a minute.  That could be or not, I don't know.  My dad has the attention problem, and also when I was real young lived on the edge a lot, but has since calmed that part of his problem, for him, the attention is the main problem.  They are both 2 of the best people you could ever meet though and I have been told that many times.  Like I said, I never was diagnosed in the past, and don't know of any history in my family, so I don't know if that part pertains to me.  The only thing I can remember of my school years, is having a hard time with some subjects because they just couldn't keep me interested, and also not getting homework done on a consistent basis due to putting it off.  I also in high school and my early 20's went from job to job enough to break Guiness records I believe.  Now I finally have settled into a career (fire/ems) which in some ways helps the adhd, because even though some times are slow, I never have to worry about doing the same thing two shifts in a row, and never know what is going to happen any given day.  I beleive it actually takes someone with a certain amount of add/adhd to do this job.  What I don't understand is how all the sudden I feel like I have found the answer to whatever problem I have had for a while now, and haven't been able to put my finger on what it was.  Could it have been the drug experimentation while in my late teens, early 20's?  Ecstasy, LSD, opiates?  I have read where mdma and lsd can really affect the way your brain works, so I don't know, if I have had it all along and that just brought it out more, or what.  I only started noticing it after those years, and also after the birth of my daughter 4 years ago.  I really have been a different person since then and I haven't really enjoyed the person that was most of the time.  I feel very bad that there are probably things that I have put my wife or anyone else through what they definitely haven't deserved, and I am looking forward to being able to be the person I really am.  I guess I just don't trust all the medical insight which says you have to have had it as a child or in your family history, because that really doesn't pertain to me, unless I really have had it and just have been able to hide it my whole life or something.  I wish I did more research on this years ago though.  Also, I may just think this because I think I am adhd, but I really don't think there is much wrong with having it, if you can handle it correctly either with meds or counseling or whatever, and also I believe that if more people were educated about add/adhd, they would find they have a lot of the symptoms that go along with it, I know a lot of people close to me have some of it.  lol  Can anyone give me any insight of what I am going through right now?  I realize some will say I couldn't have possibly not had it as a kid, but I really don't think I did.  I believe mine for what ever reason, showed up between ages 18-24 or 25 or so.  Again I am so sorry for the long post, but if you asked anyone that knows me, they will say that this is how I was a long time ago.  Looking forward to anyones input.  Good luck to all with managing your gift.  lol     

[QUOTE=Binks1963]Glen, I'm not a scientologist.f**k You.  You don't like to jab?  But you already jabbed.We'll see were this all ends up, when the little boys in white coats will be coming for you and your pathetic drugged kid.[/QUOTE]

Why are you here?  It's pretty sad to take shots at someone by making nasty comments about their child.  Could you possibly be any more base?

Q:  Why was Six scared of Seven ?

A:  Because 7, 8, 9 !

Q:  Why was Six scared of Seven ?

A:  Because 7, 8, 9 !

[/QUOTE]

I give up, why?

mikeflockman:  I'm sincerely sorry your mom had the ignorance to call you dumb.  NO ONE IS DUMB, unless they're physically unable to speak.  You sound very intelligent to me, & regardless, no parent belongs putting their child down.  I'm assuming she had parents that did that to her, not that that's an excuse, but I'm sorry about that for you.  You MUST know you are really smart.  You were very wise to come to these boards--I accolade your independence & seeking others for advice & to talk to.  I think you are probably much smarter than you realize.  And I've got a big enough ego to think I'm brilliant, so there:  Take it from me!  Please keep coming back--there are a lot of really cool people here to ask questions of & they know a LOT.  See you soon!

[QUOTE=mike flockmen]the kids at my skool think im a freak because i listen to crazy fast music and keep to myself. i cant talk to people because i get confused with what im saying. my mom thinks im dumb. well she tells me that. my friend jamie hangs out and plays doom with me though. he is kool. but we dont talk much. I think he is gay. [/QUOTE]

PS--I listen to insanely fast music only, as well.  And I just turned 4O.  It totally makes me feel better when I'm sick or something, too!  I can't tolerate anything slower--it drives me nuts!

Q:  Why was Six scared of Seven ?

A:  Because 7, 8, 9 !

[/QUOTE]

I give up, why?

[/QUOTE]

Because Seven Ate Nine . . . I suspect you are mocking me in public!  I know you got the answer above . . .

[QUOTE=Davidornado] [QUOTE=terrie]I'm confused.  My score was 18O.  But only 29 in the "severe" category, so maybe that's what you guys are talking about?[/QUOTE]

hey ter,

I have no idea what they're talking a/b, either. my score was 9, but they recommended I have severe work, family, and social problems, and that I should see a doctor ASAP!

Was she "so vibrant she was spinning?" (Seinfeld Desk Reference)

So I went out on a date with a geriatric pediatrician. She was fine to see!
[/QUOTE]

[QUOTE=dwm3576] . . . I could actually hear my own thoughts without interruption . . ."[/QUOTE]

Frankly that scares the absolute crap out of me.  That is why I must have as close to what I consider quiet as little as possible.  And why it's impossible for me to fall alseep without the TV on.  It's too scary to think what could pop in there if I left room in my brain & "turned off the volume" for old childhood memories to creep in there & such.  Thankfully, I have not yet experienced this on Adderall.

[QUOTE=stepmomofone]She even had the child put in a mental hospital when he was 6. She lied to him and told him he wasnt staying. She told him that she was going downstairs to get her a soda, she left. When he realized she left, he cried. Begging her to come back. When we went to see him the weekend we were allowed to visit, he begged and cried for us to take him home. [/QUOTE]

I am aggressively trying to hold back tears at the front desk of my office.  I want the woman who did the above action shot in the head.  I don't care if she was abandoned.  I cannot tolerate people who pull that kind of sh*t on their kids.  His trust in her (& probably everyone else) is gone forever.  Please, please, please tel me that he was rescued soon after.  That would give me nightmares.  Like when my parents would be taking me to school & all of a sudden they throw a uniform in the backseat & tell me to change & drive me to a new school.  No being deceitfully sneaky or kidnapping your child.  Those memories will never leave me & are probably why I soon started searching for constant chain-boyfriends immediately after.  I did not trust my parents so I had to start "creating a family of my own" (sans the children, of course).

This poor little boy is so lucky to have you.  God bless you for loving & caring for him SO MUCH!  I will pray that you get custody.  God will look out for him.

Q:  Why was Six scared of Seven ?

A:  Because 7, 8, 9 !

[/QUOTE]

I give up, why?

[/QUOTE]

Because Seven Ate Nine . . . I suspect you are mocking me in public!  I know you got the answer above . . .

And smiled!!!

Now I'm laughing, loosely...

I have been diagnosed with ADHD now for 3 weeks and have been placed on Straterra.  My story starts with extreme adrenaline needs.  I have always been pretty much an adrenaline junkie and this has helped in some of my endeavors including work.  I am in a high-end sales role that requires me to thrive on stress and the thrill of the hunt and closing of a large deal.  I always thought I was just Type A.  More recently, I have noticed that I have trouble with focusing, can't sit still in meetings, have tried some illicit drugs and basically just destructive behavior.  I guess I have always had these symptoms, but I never NOTICED them.  My wife (newly married for the first time after 35 years) thought that I might have ADD.  I made an appointment and after several appointments, he thought that I was nearly textbook for ADHD. 

My problem now is that I am on Strattera and I feel so fatigued and slow.  Almost as if I am in a euphoric state.  I am focused and have no desire for adrenaline seeking activities or drug use, but I just don't feel right.  I am so tired and since I have been on Strattera, I just have no sexual desire. 

I am not sure which is better.....

Anyone else feel this way on Strattera?

Strattera sucks, from what I've heard.  Try Adderall/XR.  It's superior.  I've unfortunately only heard bad things/experiences about Strattera, mostly on this board.  There was a topic thread regarding it as well, so you may want to plug that into the search on the first message page thingy.  I only found out I had ADHD when I was 33--all the time before I just thought I was energetic & brilliant with the ability to hyperfocus like a prodigy!  Welcome to our elite association!

No sh*T!  I am newly diagnosed at 35..

I always thought I was just an extrovert with an uncanny ability to brush my teeth, listen to the radio, make a phone call, go to the bathroom and work on crosswords all at the same time.

Thanks for the heads up on Strattera.  I'll check the board. 

The nice thing is that I don't have the eighty things I need to complete constantly running through my head!  I like that part....  But the fatigue is killing me.  I have to catch a plane at 5:00 and I am wondering if I can fit in a nap.  Sh*t, I have never taken naps unless I was hungover. 

I guess this is an elite association!

Thanks for the words of wisdom.

I need advice.

Help me please.

Ok. My name is Shana. Pro-nounced - Shay-nuh. I'm currently 15 years old and in 10th grade. I'm not diagnosed with ADHD but I think I might suffer from it. If your willing to read this and help me out I would highly appreciate it. =]

Why I think I have ADHD.
Ever sense I was younger I've always been immature. I've always had enough energy for an army and I've always said / done things that are stupid without thinking. I lack common sense and I get highly aggervated when doing school work. Parents / teachers / students have always told me I was excessivly annoying and loud and I need to learn to control myself. I wish I could. But I don't know how too. I've always thought I was just immature and made up excuses for my bad behavior. I figured well maybe it's my hormones I'm still a teenager ;; I'll grow out of it. It's been about 4 years now sense I've noticed it's been extremely bad. Since 7th grade up until now (10th) I've been getting worse. 7th grade I noticed my hyperness along with everyone else. I controlled it and found acitivities like sports such as soccer and dance and I used to join after school things to keep myself busy thinking maybe I need more things to do. In 8th grade I made a complete excuse my language "ass" of myself. I would yell at teachers when they told me to do things ;; I would get annoyed with school work ;; I wouldn't pay attention ;; I would forget simple things ;; I would fidget in my seat ;; I basically carried on like an animal. Everyone knew me because of my loud and obnoxious behavior.