I get so mad, then over react! | ADHD Information

If the people you love could do a little learning about ADD/ADHD it would be very helpful.

I would suggest... you talk calmly to the person, and let them know that you appreciate their concern.

Let them know... with all the new information you are getting, and help from the meds, that things will be changing.  However, you need their continued patience and understanding. (even if they are not giving you patience and understanding.)

Let the person know... that you feel, the way they present things to you, sometimes, is making you feel defensive.

This is just my take on the situation.

I wish you well, and know that you are not alone with these kinds of problems. 

My intent for this topic was to share the fact that we all have people who irritate us just because they are close to us. We all over react, and its usually hysterical when we look back on it.

I would like for newbies to come here and see that they are not alone, and that we can and do laugh at ourselves.

 This is in response to a post where a woman was newly on meds and angry with her husband because she wanted him to be perfect so she could learn from him. Unfortunately, he is human and screwed up.

No matter what we said, she thought we were dumping blame and guilt on her. I am hoping that this will enable people to see that they do over react and that for an ADHDer, that is normal. Its ok and they can vent if they need to and we will understand.

Please contribute some of your silly, stupid, "why can't I get a grip?" moments!

 Just after I made my post above.  I read your post on the other thread and was comming back to...Say....Hmmm....what was I going to say???

Oh well!  Let me see!

It always upset me to be told "All you have to do is put your mind to it, and do it."

My  Come back now adays is WHAT MIND!!!  This is said with no self malice!

What stupid little things about your spouse, SO, GF, BF, people close to you annoy the heck out of you so that you over react? I had a list of things a mile long to put in here and now my mind is totally blank.

The only thing I can think of at the moment is when he uses the phrase "I'm only saying this because it for your own good". EVERY time I hear it I go ballistic and start telling him all the things I could point out that he does that are for his own good but that I wouldn't DREAM of telling him because I would NEVER hurt his feelings by pointing them out. I make sure he hears every last one of them!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

There are things that get me pretty ticked with my family. Especially their "trademark phrases". Here's some that I hear alot:

"Heaven for bid..."

"Now, calm down"

"You don't forget, you choose to!"

There's tons but that would take a long time ~_~;

I've found a good way to deal with this thats especially effective in public is to stand very still and mutter "I'm going to kill you all" 10 times, starting quietly and getting louder each time.

I find the stress and the stressors tend to go away quickly, leaving me calm and refreshed.

Thanks Glen! Why didn't I think of that? Oh yeah, maybe because he is a worse slob than I am. darn!

One of my favorite sayings used to be "If you want to know the easiest way to get something done, ask a lazy person." Now that I know that I have ADHD, I've changed it to ADDer because we are so creative in finding ways to get through the mundane things. Frankly, knowing I have ADHD has certainly helped me feel much better about myself!

LOL excellent barb!!

My mother always looked at me and my avoidance of work and would say "you know of course that it takes you way more energy to avoid the work than to just go and do it!"  .  Of course, she didn't realize my mind was a different place than she could fathom so nope! gotta do it the hard way.  Paid for it in bruises etc. many times too LOL

Too bad about the slobby partner.  I love my jujitsu lazy technique - I've seen it also called the tom sawyer shuffle - like painting a fence with a "little help" lol.

Something tells me we think alike.  Stop it I'm trying to patent it.  Don't make me sue you! LOL

I'm gonna head out soon - don't start any good food fights in here til I get up ok?  Or at least save some good ones for me :)

Take care all and pleasant dreams for us on the continent

Hi folks - me again..

Devil's advocate for the defense of the non-adhd spouses lol

Well somebody's gotta say something nice - might as well be me!  I've got ADHD something fierce as you all know and who better?

Keep in mind spouses and lookie-lous here that the couple dynamic is TWO way always.  Unless one of you is embalmed then ewwww! shame on you perv.

My point the roundabout way is that usually we see the negative emotions early on in a relationship.  Your non-add spouse who is overly critical of your sloppy housework now probably attracted you to him/her because of their organized life and mind.  Only now it bites YOU in the arse!

We often start out thinking the spouses weaknesses are cute and adorable.  How many in their 20s dated your mate who snored - and 10 years later want to pour cement down their *&*&^^%&^&&^ throat?? Hmmmmm???

I know that we all need some understanding.  Lets just remember that the stuff we are fighting over late in the relationship now that you all know you have ADHD has probably been bubbling under the surface for a long long time.  Perhaps you should look at the situation - depending on what it is I won't say ignore abuse of any kind leave if it's that but otherwise check this out - maybe take a page of jujitsu - use your opponent (spouse?)'s strengths to your advantage. 

When you now have some control over your ADHD - meds, natural remedies I personally don't care HOW you control you know what I mean - you now can focus a wee bit and try some psychology of your own.

your spouse despondently attacks your lack of cleanliness.  Ask the great guru of clean spotless kitchens to give you the 101 class in keeping up the work.  Tell oh great teacher that you are getting healthier mentally and wish to improve yourself - if you can - and appreciate the pointers.  At worst you two may get some quality time together.

I know this may at times seem "glib" (damn I liked that word until Tom Cruise abused it), but if you maybe find a seed of an idea in it.  Believe me - I'm a lazy cuss at heart and you get creative when lazy - even resorting to working harder than if you just did something to actually get out of it.  I do my stuff mostly now when needed but I keep the memories of intuitive thought - mix it with my newfound empathy for people and now can use it as a non-lethal weapon.

Cool?  Well I hope it at least helped to relieve the stress for a second if you had a chuckle at this.  Maybe you can get more from it - I'd like to think that too.  Have a wonderful stress free day!

Oh, this one gets me going every time - when my husband (who's a bit of a neat freak) walks in the house and starts up with "This house is filthy..." when there's just a few crumbs on the floor and everything isn't perfectly straight.

I also get mad when he starts proclaiming things that aren't done as if it was all my fault.

I took myself off of Strattera about a week ago. The reason behind that was that I hade zero energy and did not want to get up off the couch or out of bed. I was lightheaded all of the time and had a hard time standing up without having the feeling of blacking out. The best thing about being on Strattera was that it took all of my stress and worrying away. I was for the first time in my life, mellow and stress free.

I feel like I should try it again and just stay on a very low dose. I do see my Dr. next week and am wondering what she wants to do for me this time. I feel like a guinea pig and just want some sort of miracle to happen.

Any advise would help me greatly. I just really thought it was going to help my energy level, not take it ALL away.

Thank you.

Annie,

It is trial and error with us. Your dr. may end up putting you on a mixture of meds or try a different one altogether. Hang in there! Its worth it in the end.

Try reading and posting on the ADHD Meds board about this.

Thanks Barb for such a quick reply. I was just getting really worried about how I was letting all the little things, especially my 16, 21, and 22 year old kids, whom are all still living at home, bother me so badly. It's like I have turned back into a wild and crazy monster. But honestly they are part of the problem and do not understand what I have been dealing with for years. I am 42 and am very happily married to a wonderful man for 22 years. I just don't know why I cannot let things go and just enjoy life. I have a great personality and most of all , I love to laugh. But my symptoms have gotten much worse in the last year. I guess that was when I was tested and diagnosed with ADHD. I kind of knew I had it all along. As a child I was bouncing off the walls and could not concentrate in school. I used humor as a major cover up. But now as I have grown older my symptoms have changed and I just have these horrible bouts of tiredness. My mom said that I have become LAZY. When I heard that come out of her mouth I just about fell over from laughing. I guess Mom's can say some pretty stupid things and not want anything to be wrong with their children.

Ok, I will stop there. But it was nice to get this off of my chest to someone that knows from first hand experience.

Thanks again.

I absolutely hate things like, "You need to find the gift in the situation" or other Pollyanna type Chicken-Soup-for-the-Soul sayings...especially when it comes from someone younger than I.

I have a relative whom I will not speak to right now because she is always so condescending. She'll say, "Oooh, bluebird, you are doing such a good job."  Shut up.