Unhappymom -
Are you on a medication for your diagnosed ADHD? The medications would help you gain control of the part of your brain that controls urges and motivation. That's mostly what they are designed to do right now.
Most of your flying off the handle is most likely the ADHD - I know especially when dealing with kids we can revert back to a "na na na nah na" type attitude where it would be hard to tell who is the adult in it.
Therapy helps in control as well - since they can teach you new tools to deal with day-to-day life issues.
Helping your son's disorganized life may have to start with you getting your own disorganization in check. Try time management classes at your community college maybe. Buy a day-timer and a small notepad with attached pen to keep with you at all times. Glue it to your purse/jacket if you must.
Once you get on meds and regain self-control I bet you'll find a lot of stuff falls into place for you. I hope you get the balance in your life you need. It feels really good.
Okay, now that we know I have ADHD and my son has ADHD......I just read the EFO link and it applies directly to me. But what do I do about the over-reacting? And, how do I help my child with organizing, managing, and charting when I can't remember what I am doing? I mean, how many charts can you have? What does everyone one else do?