COUPLES with ADD | ADHD Information

My girlfriend and I both have ADD. We have a great relationship in the
sense that we love each other and love being with each other (and give
ourselves needed space when necessary).

However, our sex life is horrible. We have (thank god) mind-blowing sex
when we have sex, but unfortunately, it seems like we seldom have sex.
We are a younger couple; I am in my mid-twenties, she is in her late
twenties.

We'll start out a night with every intention of having sex, but after a long
day of work or out on the town, we get home, and need to 'wind down.'
We'll start putzing around on our own, and before you know it, it is 4 AM
and too late to really have any sort of fun in bed.

I need an external mind on this one! Do y'all have any advice, or have any
of you experienced something like this?

Thanks!Thanks... we certainly are compatible. A couple of additional items of
information though that better express my situation:

She has a chronic pain syndrome that often flares up and often prevents
us actually having sex on the rare occasions that we get to it.

Also, we might have sex on average once every two weeks. I'm a young
guy! This kind of schedule (no offense for the generalization) is for old
people...

She's not always in so much pain that we can't have sex, it is just that the
number of times that she is in a great deal of pain statistically conflicts
with the ADDled nature of our sexual relationship. So how do I get the
lower-pain moments and our sexual moments coincide? Any advice? Any
communication tips? ANYTHING!@!#@!

Thanks...

Josh,

I live with a woman who is add and has the pain issue also.  I understand the situation you are in.  Setting dates doesn't work for me cause we have teenagers at home.  But that would be a great idea for a younger couple.  Even if it is as simple as dinner and Bed!  One thing I have learned about our sex life is we may go a week or two with no contact then Bam, several times in a row and like you said its mind blowing.  The one thing that keeps us going is spontaneous sex.  One of us will wake up in the middle of the night and start it and most of the time it works.  Someone else said different positions to keep the pain down for her.  Try that too.

Newdad

 

I think that I need a partner with add at least that way the other half would understand!!!!  Everything you said in your post has been me in a relationship!

Don't think you should worry about it because at least the both of you know where the other is coming from.   How can your sex life be horrible if:

a) You have mind blowing sex when you do get round to it!!!!

b) Its not just one in the relationship that is like this, it is both of you!

I would say thats what you call COMPATABILITY!!!!

Make dates! Have a great dinner, stack the dishes, go cuddle and don't start puttering with anything. Spend time together and take it from there!If you need to wind down after work, and work with her level of pain, then one of you may need to set an alarm to refocus you before it gets to be 4am.  On an evening when she's OK, one of you set an alarm to go off later in the evening, then go 'distract' the other from their winding down.  (You could take turns and get real creative with this.)Darling, I wish I could help you! My poor boyfriend is in the same situation, minus the chronic pain thing. I love him dearly and he means the world to me but I never seem to get around to having sex with him!  I'm not sure if it's low sex drive or the distraction thing. We're young too and it's really getting to him! But when we do have sex, it's great! Maybe you can enjoy positions that are not as painful for her, expirament and find out what they are! Maybe try a few drinks???   Maybe try having sex at different times? You sound exhaueted after a long day. Meet for a "lunch date" or do it in the AM. Make it exciting, leave her a message or e-mail her during the workday and get her excited to come home!I'm no expert... but I hope that might help! GOOD LUCK!LOL @ coldbowl!

 

How long have you been together?

Try not to make having sex as your daily goal. Be loving and nurturing and watch it happen.

Try rubbing her feet when she is feeling the discomfort of pain, soft massages, gentle kisses. Some nights this will lead to sleepy-town, butt others you'll get lucky, and the worst thing that can happen is y'all will become even closer.

For those nights that she falls asleep, just wank one out. The only reason Al Gore invented the internet was for porn. Put it to use.

As a last resort, just use what the ugly people everywhere have been using to get sex for centuries.BEER!

Seriously, try to be positive and nurturing. I'm not a doctor, i don't play one on t.v., and i sure as hell didn't stay at a holiday in last night, butt i predict good things will happen if you take my advice.

Best of luck.

[QUOTE=joshdelight] We'll start putzing around on our own
[/QUOTE]

I don't mean to belittle you as i know what you meant, butt this sentence cracked me up and made my day.