Hello everyone my name is Amy and I am a wife and mother of two girls. I take adderallXR 30 mg daily and when I get home I do good just to sit down. I get so frustrated because my husband becomes angry with me because I do not do much cleaning when I get home. He calls me lazy.. In truth by the time I do get home my med has wore off and I cannot concentrate on one thing or another, yet he hates it when I get online.
Do you think I am lazy?
Point out that you do actually manage to hold down a job and bring home a paycheck......
You could tell him that you would be glad to stay home and sit on your can and play on the computer all day since you are lazy anyway!
Whatever your issues, it is not right for your husband to call you "lazy."Why do we all end up in relationships with this kind of person?? I've been there believe me.
If you can - educate your spouse. Find the add help pages - there are dozens specifically to explain to the newbie about what it is we go through.
Barring that - bring him here with you? Get him to chat with me and the others - ask us if we are just lazy, undisciplined bums or people with valid illness?? I'd be glad to explain it as I have a way with words.
Sometimes, people can be callous and cruel. I don't think they mean to be - it's just the way we sometimes are raised "lazy is bad - if you don't do things the way I do them you are therefore lazy". It's not the best way but it's hard to beat programming.
So, get him involved if you can. Knowledge is power!
Thank you guys so much for your support. It can be so hard sometimes living with someone who has ADD as well (my husband) and myself ADHD and he not understand how I feel. I keep praying that one day he will come around and see that medication could perhaps help him as it does me.
Yesterday I went to the doctor and they told me I had an iron defeciency which was why I felt so tired all the time. I asked the doctor to write that down so I could prove to my husband that I was not crazy,or lazy for that matter.
I just want him to truly see I am doing the best I can when I work 8 hours a day Mon- Friday then come home and take care of our two girls which are 7 and 2.
How much support do you get from him? Does he do at least as much as you in terms of cleaning and taking care of the kids? Who fixes meals and cleans up afterward?
If you are also working a full time job, I would insist that he put in as much time and effort as you do at home. You should not be expected to work full time and then come home and do all the home chores.
I went through the same thing although my husband actually never said the word lazy. I stood up to him and insisted that he do his share. It was still very unequal but at least I didn't have to do it all.
I told him that I would not tolerate disrespect from him or anyone else. If you allow it to continue, your children will learn that it is ok to ignore you, put you down and expect you to do everything for them also.
You are not lazy, I do not have ADD but live with two. When I get home I just want to rest and vegetate depending on my work day that is normal.sometimes if it weren't for my girls Iwouldn't even go home... and that hurts because I love my husband very much but I don't appreciate him treating me this way. Now he will help me every now and then but then there are times when I just want to scream from it all...
Perhaps I need a good punching bag....