Can’t or won’t? | ADHD Information

Oh, from what I've been reading it's classic ADD!  Boy I sure have been in those situations.  I've had times where I can't remember things, I get dyslexic and transpose numbers without realizing that I'm doing it, and I also find that my memory is very faulty.  Not to mention my intruding thoughts that get distracted easily and jump around on tasks.

But there's also the WON'T.  I can be 99% done with a work task and I just won't go in there and fill out the last hour of documentation detail.

I do agree with the idea that if you make many stopping points that I can get tasks done.  For example, I was getting overwhelmed about finding a new therapist.  My problem was that my health plan only covered a few people.  My therapist was calling my doctor's office for a referral and that's when I found out that the therapist wasn't under my insurance.  So then I was all freaking out over how to find a new one.  My doctor's office called and they gave me some names and numbers to call.  So my next task was making myself call each one to get an appointment.   Next task was to write it on all my calendars.  Then my task was to call my doctor's office back to let them know who I'd see.   Then just making sure to remind myself to go to my appointment. 

Small goals along the way REALLY do help me tackle big tasks.  My doctor put me on Prozac for Anxiety and it's really helping me not overreact to things - I can recognize when I'm procrastinating and walk myself through to get the tasks done.

Autumnstar 

part of me wants to say "thank god it isn't just me!"  then the other part of me feels like i am immature or something b/c i don't just do it! 

for me, i know that i had a type-A controlling mother.  and the best way to get her "goat" was to NOT complete something.  then the whole unreliable failure thing became self-fullfilling.  in my personal life, i struggle A LOT with strong-armed authority....ask me nicely and i will help you out/tell me and i will try to make your life miserable!  (my philosophy). 

However, as a parent, even tho i still don't want to do it, i noticed that i am much more likely to do it! even when i feel controlled, etc.  apparently i take the responsiblity thing more seriously when my kids are involved.  not my dh however (he is too bossy, just like my mom).  so i plan on spending the rest of my life in therapy in order to learn a new way to live. 

does anyone else relate to this?

Wordwoman, I am struggling with the same dilemna. And, being new to the diagnosis of ADD, I know that I have lots to learn; it's kind of like learning that what you thought was reality is just an illusion. My beliefs about why I do what I do have been shattered, and I do not yet have new beliefs to take their place.

I have an MBA and looked forward to a career in management. I did very well in school, even in areas that I now find mundane....primarily accounting.... maybe because it was all new and interesting in college. But in the course of my career, tasks involving accuracy, deadlines, and accounting detail limited my progress, and I have slowly moved backward, ironically into jobs that require more and more from me in those areas that I find challenging.

My current position is almost all accounting...detail, deadlines, accurac y...and each month I find myself less and less able to concentrate enough to get things done. I know that I am being paid to do this stuff, and I do have a good work ethic. I know that it is critical to the success of the not-for-profit where I work. I know that I don't want to get fired. But I spend most of my time on the internet researching unrelated areas of interest. It's gotten worse since I was diagnosed with ADD and was put on strattera.

How can I tell if it's ADD or laziness? ADD or avoidance? How can I make myself focus on and follow through on my work, or fully pay attention to conversations, or in meetings that 'feel' uninteresting to me, because I know they are important and critical to my performance?

Prior to this I had been coming to the conclusion that I am in the wrong career and that I have to face making a change. Am I in the wrong career really, or do I simply think it's wrong because I can't focus on it? Can I not focus on it because of ADD, or is it really, in fact, of no interest to me? After investing all this time in an education and a career...what else do I do?

I feel like I don't know myself anymore, at all. I sure hope this passes quickly.

Joyous5638566.8021064815I'm interested in other people's experience in terms of whether they
"can't" or whether they "won't," with regard to getting things done with
ADHD.

I have plenty of space cadet moments, where I put my keys down God
knows where and have to spend a frustrating hour looking for them
(naturally, they are in my pocket). And when I hear the microwave ding,
many times I am pleasantly surprised to remember that I have made
myself dinner. I know that is ADHD.

However, the part of me that causes me most trouble is my own
oppositionalism. Not the "can't" -- the "won't." For example: I started a
side business that was fun and nicely successful. And then, I let it slide,
by not checking my voicemail, not getting back promptly to people that
called, not sending in my ads in time for the newspaper's deadline. It's
not that I forgot to: it's that there is a piece of me that is resistant even
to my own projects. I thought about taking care of these obvious
business obligations, they nagged at me, and I sadly warned myself that
the business would not survive my irresponsibility. And until the end, all
I had to do was just do them and get them out of the way. None of them
were hard -- but they felt like obligations, and obligations make me
resistant. The business folded and in a sad way, I felt an inevitable sense
of relief, along with that familiar feeling of having screwed up, again.

Another example: I have a piece of furniture on my porch that I started
building a month ago. I was very excited about the project. It was
entirely my idea, and I've done a good job. It needs another hour or two
of work. Yet it too has become something that I feel resistant to. It's not
like it's unpleasant to work on it; I have enjoyed it every time I actually dig
in and do it. In fact, it is unpleasant having it sit unfinished on my porch.
When I do finish it, I will feel a happy sense of relief. Yet it sits there,
nagging at me.

I hate that phrase, "just do it," because I have so much trouble with that.

What is this about? I sense from other people's postings that this may be
part of the ADHD spectrum. Or is it a different kind of psychological
issue? Discuss!

I think my doctor places too much faith in Wellbutrin to improve focus, attention, concentration, and motivation.  It seems to work just well enough for me to know what I should do, but can’t.  He says that when one reaches the point of being threatened with losing his livelihood, he’ll motivate himself to get his work done.  I’m not convinced.