Acting your age | ADHD Information
I was told I can't act my age, and honestly I don't consider it an age-era thing. I consider as "I don't care what society's social rules are". NO, I am not going to pull down my pants and moon people, but I learned years ago that if I want to be happy I need to be me. Even if it means everyone looks at me funny. If anything, it keeps people from bugging the heck out of me. People without ADHD think even the simplest of behaviors are strange. Like my finding shortcuts to do tasks I hate and achieving better results. I am constantly told "YOU CAN'T DO IT THAT WAY". If we always colored inside the lines like our kindergarten teachers told us, would we have people like the famous writers, artists, actors & musicians of today? I am not talking about deviant behavior. I am talking people that march to their own drummer. As they said to me in kindergarten "Angie, you're the cavity creep cuz you're weird" (it was a funny cartoon Crest commercial in the 70's where this weird monster attacked their toothpaste boat).I always used to hang out with younger kids in school because I acted younger than I was (when I was a senior in high school I made friends with the freshmen). All of my teachers called me emotionally immature and I always got upset about really stupid little things. This wasn't helped by the fact that I was a year younger than everyone in my grade.
Now I still jump up and down and get excited about things like a little kid. That is one of the good things about not acting your age. Don't be ashamed to be excited about things - it keeps you from becoming a grumpy old person that sits on their porch and yells at kids for playing on their lawn (you'll become a happy fun old person instead).
The problem in our sons case he is just about 1 year younger than the Boys in his grade.Act your age........has a familiar ring to it. Don't
listen to those who maintain this. The enthusiasm, joy, and excitement of
life baffles some people. Let’s face it
we are unique because we have the gift of ADHD.
I just turned 50, still love toys, and take great pains to live life
according to me and not someone else’s or societies standards.
immediate gratification. I'm 48 and not very "adult" that way -- if I want
to talk about something, I want to talk now. Not work, not clean, not do
my taxes -- talk. Now, now, now! Same thing with eating, web surfing,
painting the walls purple, buying an iPod, everything. I'd like to get a
better handle on this, because it doesn't always serve me well (especially
at work). But the flip side of that is that I am spontaneous, enthusiastic,
passionate, and never bored, unlike most of the dull and witless
grownups that surround me. I just want to know, is it harder for people with ADD/ADHD to act their age? Or is it with anyone? I am 21 and there are times I choose to act differently, based upon the situation if I'm excited or not.
What does this mean, "act their age"? How does a 48 year old woman act? How does a 21 year old..person...act?
I'll never forget jumping up and down over something exciting when I was a child, like going to my friend's cottage....only to be told to calm down and stop making such a big deal over it...and why did I have to act so wierd?
What I learned was not to get excited or anticipate things with pleasure. Now that I know that was wrong, I'm not going to stiffle myself anymore. Enthusiasm is catching; if you act enthusiastic and other people 'catch' it....well, lucky for them!
Sorry if I missed your point. At 21, as I recall, I was pretty sensitive to being 'different'....now I like to think of it as 'endearingly odd'.
'endearingly odd'
I like that. 
I've been acting for so many years trying to fit in that I feel I don't even know who I am. 
I feel their are times...situatiouns....where we need to curb our enthusiasm. 
I think we are viewed by "normals" as being childish at times.
I better go back up and read the original post.....................
I think it is most definitely harder. To act our age.
You are most definitely NOT flying solo on this one. We're just the lucky brilliant ones who irritate the hell out of everyone else.[QUOTE=loveactuary]
My theory is you can age in one of two ways: the mature child or the immature adult.
The mature child is most of the ‘regular’ people. They like to think of themselves as mature, balance grown-ups and spend a lot of time and effort doing so. However, when it comes to doing things they don’t want, spontaneous or fun they are usually (personally) rude, sulk and pout.
An immature adult is our club. We can deal with grownup things, respond excellently to major catastrophes and still know what fun is all about. And ADHD gives you many opportunities to have a lot of fun!
[/QUOTE]
THANK YOU !!! I am now 46 and have always had the feeling that most people consider me immature (how I hated this!). Just great to know that I am not alone!
I would like to know who appointed the "age-appropriate" police! To me this is just another form of judgmentalism that translates to: "I'm going to try to make you feel like crap unless you do what I want you to do!"
I'm in a doctoral program in education and psych and can quote studies out the ying-yang that question the very concept of "normal." What there actually is, is a prevailing philosophy, ideology, belief system, and political perspective. Even in "solid" fields, institutions, philosophies, and endeavors, whenever you get two or more people together, they'll debate on the correct color of dirt!
The point is that other people who did not have the same kind of brain wiring that AD(H)D folks have, have tried to manipulate us to conform to what made them the comfortable and came up with crap like "not acting your age." The variations on this theme are endless. And it's not just people who do it to "us." It's people who use this tactic on other people for the same purpose--as opposed to just asking for what you want from someone. Duh!
In reality, it is up to each individual person to decide who they are and even more importantly, who they want to be. Sometimes, my ADD serves me well and I thoroughly enjoy being who I am. Other times, it interferes with the person I want to be.
Now, as far as the age-appropriate police are concerned, they can go "c*ck and coffee" themselves to death!
(Thank you for that one from the unappreciated witticisms thread!)
sachetm38575.6530555556Amen to that! My twin 8 year old daughters also tell me "Mom you're getting distracted"--especially when they're waiting for me to get them something. You know how that goes. They've also learned to use it as an excuse for not listening, but unfortunately they hyperfocus a lot so how can I blame them?
[QUOTE=loveactuary]I'm 22 and you will still regularly catch me riding a
trolley down the supermarket car park (albeit it now actually has some shopping
in it)!
My theory is you can age in one of two ways: the mature child or the immature adult.
The mature child is most of the "regular" people. They like to think of themselves as mature, balance grown-ups and spend a lot of time and effort doing so. However, when it comes to doing things they don't want, spontaneous or fun they are usually (personally) rude, sulk and pout.An immature adult is our club. We can deal with grownup
things, respond excellently to major catastrophes and still know what fun is
all about. And ADHD gives you many opportunities to have a lot of fun![/QUOTE]
I'm 49 and still ride the grocery cart down the slope to the parking lot. My daughter reminds me when I'm distracted, even.
I never understood this innerchild thing, I think mine are still on vacation...
I do find an inner warrior in there from time to time....
I’m 22 and you will still regularly catch me riding a trolley down the supermarket car park (albeit it now actually has some shopping in it)!
My theory is you can age in one of two ways: the mature child or the immature adult.
The mature child is most of the ‘regular’ people. They like to think of themselves as mature, balance grown-ups and spend a lot of time and effort doing so. However, when it comes to doing things they don’t want, spontaneous or fun they are usually (personally) rude, sulk and pout.
An immature adult is our club. We can deal with grownup things, respond excellently to major catastrophes and still know what fun is all about. And ADHD gives you many opportunities to have a lot of fun!
LoveActuary: What an awesome definiton. What a beautiful choice. My father has the demeanor of a four year old & I most recently gave him a b-day card that read: "Other people your age are adults."
It's really great to be able to relate to your teenage son and daughter on their level,,,I should know cuz I do. My only problem is it gets really hard to keep from over spending on c.d.'s ,games(which I still play). I bought my son xenosaga for christmas because I knew if he didn' like it it would still get played (by me) . We both like to play when I have the time.
My message is grow up? why,so I can lose part of my identity? I would lose a special quality of unique view of the world if I did that. I don't really have to go searching for my inner child because hes always been with me!!!!!
Enjoy life . You only get one shot to get it right, but you always have time to live it.
daniel
[QUOTE=Katherine Nell]The enthusiasm, joy, and excitement of
life baffles some people.
[/QUOTE]
spot on, chapette. except I'd say "most" instead of "some."
the lives i see around me seem to be drives for money and that mostly
to look successful. what other people think of me cannot define my own
happiness, ever. Don't worry about what people think, most of them
rarely, if ever, do it.
My husband is 10 years younger than me and women are sopposed to mature sooner than men. Go figure.
I started back to college at age 41. I start classs in two days, the first semester I'll be going during the day. I have no doubt that I'll be the oldest one there (There's a lot of old farts at the night classes).
I embarres (how the heck do you spell that?) my 12 year old twins a lot by acting goofy. They usually end up laughing. It sounds "imature" but I like embarising (there's that pesky work again) them! It's so funny!
(does that answer your question )
bepatient38584.9769328704Well, one part of my personality seems to be an 8
year old and the other part is a grouchy old woman.
The 8 year old has toys proudly displayed all over the
house, watches cartoons, and eats cake at 2am.
The old lady just yells, "Shut up that noise!"