Dr Barkley on ADHD | ADHD Information

At least if you know there is a lag you can work with it -- we are actually considering holding our son back a year before he enters kindergarten for this reason alone.

Here is a positive for ya though -- we took our son to an amusement park a couple of weeks ago and he was "good to go" all day long. No nap required, never got cranky or fussy -- LOVED walking around all day! We are excited to go to Disney World for this reason! We will definitely get the most bang for our buck!

I have read Dr. Barkley's 2nd book - the "revision" to his first. I liked and disliked it. I found the information to be very well laid out in most parts, but he referenced soo many studies and I found the studies in many cases contradicted each other.

I am a very distressed single mom of an 11year old boy who for the most part is a really sensitive and caring boy, his name is Jared. However, we have two issues with Jared 1) Jared lies and he can't seem to stop. It doesn't matter what kind of punishment he gets and when I ask him why he lies he says "I don't know, it just comes out" What does that mean? and 2) When he's asked to do something he either does it how he wants or only puts a minimal amount of effort in to doing what I ask. It doesn't matter what it is, from cleaning his room to cleaning the dishes.

I've had very calm conversations with him and have said to him on many different occasions that telling me the truth would alleviate the big argument that we get into when he lies, because I can tell when he's lying. I've also said to Jared "when you tell me the truth, what happens?, you either get explained to of why that behavior was not correct, or if it's something that you didn't do that you were asked to do, then I simply ask you again to do it. But when you lie, it gets me very upset and the more I keep asking you to tell me the truth and the more you keep lying to me the angrier i get, and yes you will get smacked or punished. However if you would just tell me the truth from the beginning then we wouldn't have to go through the whole argument stage" and then Jared tells me "I'm sorry and I promise I'll be honest with you from now on"

Today we just had another argument.. When I got home I asked him if he did the one chore that I had asked him to do, which was to vacuum the apartment. He says "I only did my room and your room" So I said "Ok, well can you please do the rest now so you don't have to do it later" So, he gets up and goes to get the mop from my closet. I ask "What are you doing in the closet?" He says, "Looking for the mop" I said "Why are you looking for the mop when the floors still have dirt on them, wouldn't it be better to vacuum the floors first and then mop?, On top of that How about just doing what I asked? I didn't ask you to mop the floors I asked you to vacuum them" So, he goes to get the vacuum and that's when I realized that he didn't vacuum at all. A) The vacuum was still in the same exact position I left it and B) the extension cord was on my bed where I left it. So it began, I asked him again "Did you vacuum today?" He says "yes" so now I start questioning him "Well, if you vacuumed then why is the extension cord in the same spot that I left it this morning as well as the vacuum" Jared says "Ma, I vacuumed" back and forth back and forth.... I got so mad I lost it, I smacked him right across his face... I know that violence is not the answer and I don't want to hit him, I'm just sooo frustrated with this already I don't really know what to do..the traditional punishments don't work.

Cool, Tater! LOL!!!! How many times in your life do those words come out of your mouth?......... Cool, Tater!" LOL!!!!!! Well, as usual, you provided lots more interesting reading. I'll be reading that in it's entirety soon.

Dr. Barkley's theory of AD/HD posits that the hyperactive subtype of AD/HD — which represents the majority of kids, as well as the majority of research and knowledge on the disorder — is actually a disorder of impulsivity and self-control, not of attention. In other words, they have no deficit of attention, or input. Their deficit is in how they control their output. Much of the disorder rests on deficits in controlling the "executive functions" that most people develop to privately manage their emotions and actions, as well as their "internal language." These functions allow us to transfer external events into mental internal events, to move from other-control to self-control, to distinguish the temporal now from the anticipated future, and to progress from immediate to delayed gratification. Kids with problems in these areas will be impulsive and unable to see consequences. They will also suffer from what Dr. Barkley terms "time-blindness," an inability to measure or use time effectively.

Given these deficits, Dr. Barkley suggests that kids with AD/HD generally have a developmental lag of 30 percent, which means that parents and teachers should assume that these kids have an emotional age 30 percent below their actual age. Readiness for milestone activities such as babysitting, driving, or going away to college can be greatly affected by such a lag.

I have read that article before -- it is a good one. Thanks for the reference! I may just print it out for my son's teacher this year (just in case!).

Last year we really seemed to have some issues with his teacher saying he was behind in development from the other children and the 30% maturity lag is the reason!!! I will be coming into the new school year and the parent/teacher conference we have at the start armed w/ the info (last year and this time we did not know half of what we know now!)




	Dr Barkley on ADHD At least if you know there is a lag you can work with it -- we are actually considering holding our son back a year before he enters kindergarten for this reason alone. Here is a positive for ya though -- we took our son to an amusement park a couple of weeks ago and he was "good to go" all day long. No nap required, never got cranky or fussy -- LOVED walking around all day! We are excited to go to Disney World for this reason! We will definitely get the most bang for our buck! that is so depressing, a 30% lag.. i want some positives!!! please please please!!! Dr. Barkley's book is called Taking Charge of ADHD ... it is a great read! he focuses on preserving the parent child bond. It is a great book.Here is another positive: We have been told by several doctors that while our ADHD son may struggle as a child, he's going to make a great adult. He will find something to do that he's interested in (not like all the stuff they throw at him in school) and give it his all. I think that makes a lot of sense. I have read Dr. Barkley's 2nd book - the "revision" to his first. I liked and disliked it. I found the information to be very well laid out in most parts, but he referenced soo many studies and I found the studies in many cases contradicted each other. Did none of you find the same thing? I am a very distressed single mom of an 11year old boy who for the most part is a really sensitive and caring boy, his name is Jared. However, we have two issues with Jared 1) Jared lies and he can't seem to stop. It doesn't matter what kind of punishment he gets and when I ask him why he lies he says "I don't know, it just comes out" What does that mean? and 2) When he's asked to do something he either does it how he wants or only puts a minimal amount of effort in to doing what I ask. It doesn't matter what it is, from cleaning his room to cleaning the dishes. I've had very calm conversations with him and have said to him on many different occasions that telling me the truth would alleviate the big argument that we get into when he lies, because I can tell when he's lying. I've also said to Jared "when you tell me the truth, what happens?, you either get explained to of why that behavior was not correct, or if it's something that you didn't do that you were asked to do, then I simply ask you again to do it. But when you lie, it gets me very upset and the more I keep asking you to tell me the truth and the more you keep lying to me the angrier i get, and yes you will get smacked or punished. However if you would just tell me the truth from the beginning then we wouldn't have to go through the whole argument stage" and then Jared tells me "I'm sorry and I promise I'll be honest with you from now on" Today we just had another argument.. When I got home I asked him if he did the one chore that I had asked him to do, which was to vacuum the apartment. He says "I only did my room and your room" So I said "Ok, well can you please do the rest now so you don't have to do it later" So, he gets up and goes to get the mop from my closet. I ask "What are you doing in the closet?" He says, "Looking for the mop" I said "Why are you looking for the mop when the floors still have dirt on them, wouldn't it be better to vacuum the floors first and then mop?, On top of that How about just doing what I asked? I didn't ask you to mop the floors I asked you to vacuum them" So, he goes to get the vacuum and that's when I realized that he didn't vacuum at all. A) The vacuum was still in the same exact position I left it and B) the extension cord was on my bed where I left it. So it began, I asked him again "Did you vacuum today?" He says "yes" so now I start questioning him "Well, if you vacuumed then why is the extension cord in the same spot that I left it this morning as well as the vacuum" Jared says "Ma, I vacuumed" back and forth back and forth.... I got so mad I lost it, I smacked him right across his face... I know that violence is not the answer and I don't want to hit him, I'm just sooo frustrated with this already I don't really know what to do..the traditional punishments don't work. Someone, please give me some advice..cause I feel like i'm having a breakdown. Yours truly, Distressed Mom distressed mom, i so empathise with you!! my dd also is a pathological liar and doesn't seem to care about the consequences of it.. i've often thought about selling her to slave buyers but she would drive them insane and they would demand a refund i don't know what to say.. i wish i knew and i am fully aware that this will really become problematic when they hit their teenage years.. apparently adhders have a 30% emotional lag, but in effective lying (she can look straight into my eyes and lie, even when presented with the evidence) dd is light years ahead.. the psychologist has giving me a list (i've seemed to have misplaced it!!) about dealing with this issue.. if i can recall, it was about consequences and boundaries.. it didn't work with mine though hopefully some of the wiser members will have advice for us both.. Cool, Tater! LOL!!!! How many times in your life do those words come out of your mouth?......... Cool, Tater!" LOL!!!!!! Well, as usual, you provided lots more interesting reading. I'll be reading that in it's entirety soon. Dr. Barkley's Theory of AD/HD Dr. Barkley's theory of AD/HD posits that the hyperactive subtype of AD/HD — which represents the majority of kids, as well as the majority of research and knowledge on the disorder — is actually a disorder of impulsivity and self-control, not of attention. In other words, they have no deficit of attention, or input. Their deficit is in how they control their output. Much of the disorder rests on deficits in controlling the "executive functions" that most people develop to privately manage their emotions and actions, as well as their "internal language." These functions allow us to transfer external events into mental internal events, to move from other-control to self-control, to distinguish the temporal now from the anticipated future, and to progress from immediate to delayed gratification. Kids with problems in these areas will be impulsive and unable to see consequences. They will also suffer from what Dr. Barkley terms "time-blindness," an inability to measure or use time effectively. Given these deficits, Dr. Barkley suggests that kids with AD/HD generally have a developmental lag of 30 percent, which means that parents and teachers should assume that these kids have an emotional age 30 percent below their actual age. Readiness for milestone activities such as babysitting, driving, or going away to college can be greatly affected by such a lag. Read the rest of the article here.......... http://www.schwablearning.org/articles.asp?r=54&f=2 I love the Schwab website! I will read the article because it sounds very reasonable to me. I have read that article before -- it is a good one. Thanks for the reference! I may just print it out for my son's teacher this year (just in case!). Last year we really seemed to have some issues with his teacher saying he was behind in development from the other children and the 30% maturity lag is the reason!!! I will be coming into the new school year and the parent/teacher conference we have at the start armed w/ the info (last year and this time we did not know half of what we know now!) Thanks Tater! tater thanks for the bump, I didn't read this...that is the kind of info been looking for.bump for those that think ADHD is not real Maybe the attention deficit that is adhd is the lack of attention us adhd'ers feel from others so we act out? dd is out of control and uses lying and such to create thrill and get long term attention from you... Time to spend daughters energy by swimming or some other method. Extreme exercise or play will help her not focus on lying and may bring the two of you together. play some games and spend quality time... I wonder if you ignore her lies and walk away, if she would continue to lie??? bugzappers38571.377962963	Enter Your Email below to claim your Free Book