How do you make friends | ADHD Information
Same thing, loner in high school use to be depressed and lonely quite often.
Now that I am older, and having been burned too many times by mean people, I always keep a distance that I can't make legit friendships now.
Oh I make small talk and people like me, but I don't let people close to me, in fact I don't have any friends any more then those online - I don't go out at all, unless once in a blue moon to the bar, but I am so out of place. I just sit in corner and listen to music and drink my beer by myself.
I don't get so lonely as I use to, I am married, and we get along fair enough, or otherwise I am like I said living on the computer - doing things to just drive out every thing else in my life.
Hi,
Have you read my "I'm so lonely!" post? I have the exact same problem and it's been this way most of my life. Instead of being indifferent though, they usually end up not liking me. I tend to blame myself for this. Therapy didn't work for me either. I'm taking Lexapro for depression but I don't think it's working cause here I am on this board and my posts sound so sad.
The Solitary Cheekydeeky
cheekydeeky38156.2564351852I use to have problems with depression, kept thinking no one loved me or liked me and that I just did not belong.. I just kept living in my own world all of the time. Very self centered to loosing site of others.
It took a long time for me to realize that I did make a difference in other peoples life, and even longer to realize when I did do this, that I was driven all the more to repeat this to cause reaction out of others. To continually seek gradification from others to justify my existance.
My drive now for pleasing others, crowds out the self pity, I know it is still not no way to justify getting by, but to me it works. I still don't like myself personally - don't think I am a very nice person, even though I affect others to think that I am, I don't do things to make others happy is what I am saying, I do things to know I did good and that others are pleased with me.
I don't know how to explain it, but it is a continuing circle that I am stuck in.
Hi. Thanks for all the replies. Ya know, Barb... You might be right. I think I may be depressed. I will have to talk to my MD and see what he says. I have been under more stress lately. I don't think I have ever been under more stress in my life. I say that every time, but I think that this time takes the cake. I was on wellbutrin already and I broke out in rashes. I can't take SSRI's like Prozac either or I become manic. I'm kind of limited. Maybe I need to focus on some sort of activity outside work, school, and home that will assist in alleviating my depression. Not sure really what to do.
I did some research on the computer last night. Looking for a relation between ADHD and sleep deprivation and found some interesting things. Sleep deprivation makes your ADHD symptoms worse. From Monday to Thursday last week, I had only 2-3 hours of sleep a night and no naps in the day time and I was going and going.... at work, at home, and at school. It was outrageous. The adderall wasn't even touching the ADHD symptoms. Now I know why I was acting the way that I was. It was a mess.
As for the depression. I don't know what to do. Barb, thank you so much for pointing that out. It makes a lot of sense. I was crying at work, when I got home from school. I was paranoid that I was the center of everyone's gossip. I was irritable and picking fights. I was forgetful, slurring my words... wanting to dose in class, at work, when I was at home... I was a mess. I'll definitely talk to my MD.. about something for the occasional depression. Thanks!
Thank you everyone for your replies. It's nice being able to talk to other people who understand.
Hi Jaxkipi!
I really feel for you, ADHD can be a really lonely illness especially if you don't have many understanding friends around to support you and tell you everythings ok. It sounds like the people you're working with aren't all that open minded, maybe you could try an activity outside of work where you will be forced into socialising. My mum with adhd had difficulties with friends before, but then she joined this running club that had a whole range of different people and she soon found that she had a whole circle of friends. She was also losing weight at the same time
Have you thought about adhd coaching? They help you try and change the way you see the disorder and yourself. And they'll help you with coping tips and techniques for dificult situations. Although I think it can be quite expensive.
Everybody on this forum knows how you are feeling, and they are either feeling it now or have done in the past. I think you've come to the right place!
Keep Smiling
Kathi, you sound like you are depressed. I can't tell you whether you are but it is common with ADD. Why don't you ask your dr about going on wellbutrin? Not only would it help with the depression, but it is good for ADD. I found when I was on it that I was more able to be posititve to my friends (instead of always whining) and even with my own thought life. I also had more self control, was less likely to blurt things out without thinking them through or interrupt others.
I always got along with my co-workers but on the wellbutrin, I was able to make friends and keep them even after I went off of it.
I'm 36 with ADHD. I was diagnosed 5 years ago. I'm having a tremendous time trying to make friends. It's horrible. My self esteem isn't where it should be either... I hate having ADHD. I used to think that there was some positive to it, but lately, I've encountered nothing but negative about it. No one understands me. If they knew I had ADHD, they tend to stay away even further. I've tried telling people before. It's like they either didn't hear you or they are afraid of you. I want to make friends, but this has been an issue for me my entire life. When I was a kid, I was a loner. There were a few years that I had a great social life... but as an adult, my social life is next to nothing. People at work and school act so indifferent around me. It's very lonely. I don't like it. For the first time I've really hated this disorder. Medication is helping, but not completely. I tried just regular therapy and that didn't help. I was looking into cognitive psychotherapy. I don't know anything about it... maybe that will help me feel better. 
Has any1 wondered what we would be like without ADHD,I sure would like to know but will never find out as this is something I have to deal with for life.Since I was 7yrs old I have been a nightmare for my Mum.I'm 18 in 2months & still I can have my moments of smashing the house up,getting angry if I can't get my own way.I repeat myself all the time,always talking about things that are not going to happen for ages but I like to plan ahead although I get let down alot in my life(Maybe cos people don't give me a chance some of the time) It's like most of the time I'm not me its like Im always talking through my ADHD,the things I say I sometimes think If I didn't have ADHD I would not have said that but I can't help saying things that are out of the ordinary Cos it's not me really its the condition I've got.Only family & close family friends know about my ADHD.Sometimes I wanna tell people but it's hard cos once its been said there's no going back I may lose people forever & I need to hold on to the people I got cos its hard for me to make friends,Most of my school life I was on my own I had one mate who gave me a chance although she knew nothing of my problems but still wanted to know me after the weird things I did at school,But now we are no longer mates.When I do get close to people I always think that I'm gonna lose them so maybe over-crowd them always wanting them to put me first,always needing to be centre of attention,competiting to be the only mate when their others mates are important but me needing to be if you know what I mean.