Unable to do obvious things | ADHD Information
You sound like a NORMAL ADHD to me! Couldn't think of an adequate title I'm afaid.Sometimes when someone tells me something I do not process the information as I should. Someone could hint at me about something for a while. Such as they could hint that I have a bit of BO, yet I somehow manage to disregard the information.
This could go on for weeks even and I'd somehow find a way to disregard any criticsm. The only explanation I can think of is some self defence mechanism, perhaps bought on by other factors than ADD/ADHD.
Other things are being at work and failing to do certain tasks, leaving a large pile of information on my desk, that would normally only take 10 minutes to do, yet failing to do it.
I also tend to do a lot of things that with hindsight I could kick myself and think, why didn't I do "the obvious thing". Another thing is I sometimes don't think through things properly, I'll do things a bit too impusively without taking the time to think through the best possible strategy.
I'm not stupid, I'm not slow - just for some reason I am seemingly unable to process certain types of information, or I put them down into the deepest recesses of my mind, only for them to resurface months down the line.
Sorry, this is so tough to describe, as it just seems such a wierd problem.
KevInSweden38578.2454976852it's not weird, i had the same things happen to me on a day to day basis. i was diagnosed with adhd last year and now those things don't happen as much. you should check it out.You sound just like me! and sometimes I just can't let go of a topic in a conversation when I know it is upsetting or boring to the other person!Or, Kev, it could be just depression. Oftentimes, treating depression, before adhd, can solve so many problems. BTW, you actually expressed and described your dilemma very clearly, very well. And many of who have lived so long undiagnosed with AD/HD absolutely were depressed before a proper diagnosis. So, yes, it also very well could be AD/HD, so hope you have or plan to see your doctor and discuss it with them. Good luck! GypsyWomyn38578.5077430556
Been there, havent done that (joke)
actually been there done that..
prior to ADD treatment was a wreck, depressed felt like i was drowning & holding my breathe by choice, you know own worst enemy...
depression & anxiety were result of F&*King everything up due to untreated ADD.
GET MEDS PRONTO & ON THE BALL.
PS I actually think i craved stimulation of bad situations and created them to feed stimulation needs...
54 mg concerta daily pot of coffee , get stuff done
rayray
Hey Kevin...the nice thing about these forums is you can 'talk' as long as you want!
I hope you do go to the doctors; all the things you describe about yourself describes me as well. Although I have a hard time admiting that I 'babble', although people I know might think otherwise. I've thought for years my main problem was depression, and now I find that depression often accompanies ADD/ADHD.
It is interesting that you see yourself as having behavioral issues....oppositional, argumentative. In my case, I have had difficulties in relationships, but unfortunately, as an adult, people seldom tell you why unless it is something that really makes them mad. They just kind of 'drift away' with no chance for an exit interview. I probably have behavioral issues too, but I don't know what they are.
Keep coming back!
Thank you all so much for replying. I was hesitant to post thinking how horrible it would be if no one replied :D Self esteem and all that.
I do think depression may have something to do with it, certainly I know I've been depressed quite often in the past.
I am also fairly certain that I have some degree of ADHD, certainly the hallmarks of it have been with me throughout my childhood, but somehow slipped under the radar.
Behaviourial issues, impulsivity, being in a world of my own, babbling, oppositional, arguementative.
I have made my mind up, I will make an appointment at the Doctors. I really need to sort this out - I feel I have so much potential within me, I know I'm not stupid, but I just never get things done. And well, I don't think it's laziness as I genuinely feel bad whenever something gets on top of me once again!
Living in Sweden nowadays (you'd never guess it from my username), not being a native Swede, and not having full mastery of the language it makes describing complex things tough. My Doctor doesn't have the best grasp of English unfortunately.
Anyways I've talked for long enough :) I'll update with how I did at the Doctors.
Once again thank you to all of you for giving me the impetus to get the Doctors to sort this out.
Well, I actually almost called my uncle today.........I started thinking that he might find it strange for me to bring this up and JUST NOW realize this after all these years..............I dont' want to look like an airhead and not the "sharpest nail in the shed".........AGAIN. :(
Terri,
I get hyperfocused when I clean and do yard work, too. My house is decorated great (ANOTHER hobby of mine) and looks clean and organized when you walk through it.............But DON'T open a drawer in the kitchen or open any closet in the house................you may not live through it!!!!!! My disorganization rears its ugly head badly in those places.......Its like it takes so much to keep the house looking nice and clean, that I just can't do the same with the hidden areas.
ABSO-freakin'-LUTELY !!! I haven't scrubbed the tub or toilet in years (thankfully my husband runs after me --and everything else--with a bottle of bleach in his hand--he's a hypochondriac but I'll eat out of the garbage if I feel like it) but our house is organized and alw3ays attractive & termed the National Monument because nothing is ever out of place unless my twins are currently using it. My mom called me out of school once in the 8th grade to come home and make my bed. Perhaps that's where her Decorating Jones comes in--it's ADHD--not that she'll ever admit it, but everything must always be pleasing to the eye.
i just ended a short relationship with a guy i am 100% sure is
undiagnosed adhd. i was diagnosed last fall, and i'm on meds and in
counseling - i'm getting things together and seeing slow and relatively
steady improvement in many areas of my life. but his situation is that
he's not happy and he knows there's a problem, but he won't seek help
and i can't deal with him the way he is. i talked to him about adhd - the symptoms, possible causes, associated problems, treatments (he's "textbook") - that he's not alone, not a freak, that it's not all bad, and that there are ways to deal with the bad parts, there is help - and that he needs to get help. he really doesn't see his effect on other people, and withdraws at a hint of criticism, then becomes argumentative. discussions quickly became circular and accusatory - and no matter what i said there was something wrong with it. but even though he's thought for a while about seeing a psychiatrist, and he once went to one but never went back, he refuses to get help. his self-image is terrible, and beaten down so that it's hard for him to see any hope for change.
he has lots of the "good adhd" qualities - creative, intelligent, engaging, sense of humor, etc., but the bad ones are costing him a lot - right now they are costing him a girlfriend...
so yes, please do get treatment!
i hope that if nothing else, my ex will eventually find a way to deal with his problems. it's hard to walk away, but i can't stay when he won't take care of himself. i hope somewhere in there i did some good.
Where I work, there isn't too many new people I have to meet working third shift, but It started to get to me when people(including co workers I consider long time friends) started asking "Are you going for the CHARLES MANSON"look?
Two months later ,I decided to get a haircut instead of a tattoo on my forehead!!! My daughter reminded me to get a haircut just before we passed the hairstylistlast month . I still haven't found my razor
.
Kev, what you said about not "doing the obvious" until you thought of it later..............well, I was married 13 yrs. ago. We kids were on the outs with my dad as he had left my mom, (long story) and at the time of my wedding I had no Dad there to walk me down the isle. Can you believe that just a few days ago I suddenly thought, clear out of the blue, "My BROTHER was there, my Uncle had flown in for my wedding, and I didn't ask either of them to walk me down the isle! I walked by myself. It never entered my mind, and I am almost sure that is probably why my uncle flew in, I just didn't realize it before. I'm sure it hurt his feelings. After all these years..............I feel awful about that. And I'm sure my brother didnt' know why I didn't ask him either.
Just ONE of the obvious things I didn't do!
Benjamin,
That is probably the right thing to do. Its things like this that I think cause us ADD/ADHDers to have problems in relationships, one of things anyway. Here I am not even realizing "the obvious" and my uncle, and my brother, may have gotten the impression that they didn't "mean enough" for me to ask them, or something like that. Just not thinking on my part. There was just so much going on, I was very stressed out and there was so MUCH going on in my head. Plus the fact that I had 2 little kids and my husband had 3 and just getting it all togather was a major feat.
Wonder why I would realize that and even think about that after all these years? Odd.
Oh, someone said their husband didn't realize when someone was flirting with him........don't remember if it was on this thread, but many times my husband will tell me afterwards "You KNOW he was flirting with you, right?" I'm just thinking "friendly, talkative........" not picking up cues, I guess. "The obvious" again, lost on me. I guess sometimes things have to be super obvious for me! If someone said said "Want to come over to my place?", THEN I'd get it. Its the fog, blame it on the brain fog.
Basketcase, that sounds pretty much like something I would do. Something that should be pretty obvious, and afterwards you kick yourself for it. Yet somehow at the time the thought either didn't occur or was for some reason never acted upon.Went to the Doctors this morning. Was a good appointment, the language barrier was a little tough - she doesn't speak that much English and I don't speak Swedish too brilliantly. I liked the fact she asked a lot of questions etc and didn't rush to a judgment.
Got to go back on Sep 12th for a further chat about things. She did offer me anti-depressants, but I declined due to the fact I don't want to jump into things before the 2nd chat we will have - and perhaps even after I talk to a psychologist which she said was a possibility. My depressive states seem to come and go, never lasting that long at the very bottom. Perhaps I've been stuck in a persistent state of depression though and just not noticing I've been in a trough.
Don't think she's going to pin everything on depression though, and I'm kinda hoping she doesn't. Whatever, it's good to finally get it out into the open.
And well I'm looking forward to the next appointment.
Basketcase,
Just a thought, but did you ever apologize to your uncle? Being in his shoes just to hear what you said above would be greatly appreciated regardless if he flew in to give you away to your husband. It would be touching to get a card in the mail saying what you said above and a sorry.
Just my sympathetic thought.
[QUOTE=Benjamin]
Basketcase,
Just a thought, but did you ever apologize to your uncle? Being in his shoes just to hear what you said above would be greatly appreciated regardless if he flew in to give you away to your husband. It would be touching to get a card in the mail saying what you said above and a sorry.
Just my sympathetic thought.
[/QUOTE]
I agree with Benjamin...
Basketcase, Let your Brother and Uncle know. I know it would lift my spirit to receive a call or a note if I were them.
LTC138588.3856365741I guess i can't relate to missing the obvious--but I'll keep looking for examples in my past, becaue I'm certain I qualify somewhere.
It seems I'm the Spoiled Brat with Only Good Aspects of ADHD all due to Hyperfocus. It's really hard to see huge inconveniences in my life, but then I just turned 4O so maybe I LIKE my house obssessively neat & tidy. It's a call.
I'm so glad I'm not the only one that miss reads things.
I thought these computers could translate from One language to another.
I don't know much about computers.
Good luck!
Just bumping this up to say that I have an appointment at the Doctors tomorrow morning at 8.15am. I am going to take this with me (after I have hopefully translated some of it into Swedish) to explain my problems:
Symptoms from early age
Inability
to give close attention to details and making careless mistakes in schoolwork,
and other activities
Lack of focus on tasks – inability to pay attention
Seemingly not listening when spoken to directly
No good at following instructions, failiure to complete schoolwork, chores etc
Terrible organisation
Avoidance of activities liable to take a lot of mental effort
Very easily distracted
Forgetful
Excessive talking (babbling)
Impulsivity, answering questions before they are fully asked, doing things without thinking
Lack of coordination
Slightly
hyperactive
Most of the above symptoms have persisted to some degree in adulthood, some more than others.
Recent symptoms (past couple of years)
Depression that comes and goes
Anxiety
Within the past year or so
Sound sensitivity, I am unable to cope in lessons for example if someone in the same class is clicking a pen constantly, or chewing gum loudly. I become irritated and focus totally on the annoyance, making it worse.
The above problem has made it very tough for me to study at Komvux. I deal with the problem by leaving the classroom and trying to find somewhere else in the building that is quieter.
//Had trouble wording my first posting above, so will probably have to try extra hard and think of a way to say it in Swedish if needs be tomorrow.
Wish me luck everyone :)
KevInSweden38587.6413541667You're doing an outstanding job of translating to English--most people who only speak English don't sound as good as you. I would have had no idea it was not your primary language had you not mentioned it. I know what you mean about the isolated sound annoyance. My favorite is the un-crinkling of a cellophane candy wrapper when someone is trying to do it quietly in class, which takes longer and you just have to sit there and wait for it to be over with but it is never quiet so why don't they just hurry up and unwrap it already?!Ah, sorry I am English but I need to translate into Swedish (which I am nowhere near competent enough in yet, hehe). My fault for not making it clear :)
So glad you didn't say my English was difficult to understand! Would have set me back years, lol
Yep, you sound like you have a similar sound annoyance problem to me. My girlfriend also has it but only with people chewing food. She doesn't get that annoyed though.
My sister has the don't-ever-let-me-hear-you-chew-food-thing & even if it is a banana, she can hear you. And heaven forbid if you need to breathe while you're eating. Especially if you can't breathe through your nose. And again, I'm certain I'm off-topic. What was it again? [QUOTE=basketcase]
Oh my Lord, I'm reading this thread and thinking "holy smoke"...the more I take time to read this board the more I am seeing that sure enough...all these bizarre and stupid things I have done my whole life were being done by thousands of other people. If only I had know...a lifetime of despair and screwing everything up...(this matters when you have a child) Anyway,when I read about your sudden realization about not asking your brother or Uncle..wow, I know that feeling..the feeling of why did I just tell a violent, distured psycotically high guy with a knife (maybe worse) to get out of the apt and tell my girlfriend to kick him out right in from of him. (she called someone who came and took him away, a friend of my parent's no less, greaaattt)I was fifteen then and four of us spent the next two days in a car trying to escape this guy who we were told was going to kill me for sure and maybe others...I was not popular..when I got home on Sunday late aft all but the last of our triple paned windows in the front had been jimied, he had almost gotten into my house, my parents were away for the weekend....how lucky was I...continued to do obviously dumb things even though I have common sense...never could figure that out but now it makes sense..thanks for the story...did you ever say anything to your bro or Uncle?..was the moment like...you want to smack the side of your head, you're incredulous you didn't see it before????
upKev, what you said about not "doing the obvious" until you thought of it later..............well, I was married 13 yrs. ago. We kids were on the outs with my dad as he had left my mom, (long story) and at the time of my wedding I had no Dad there to walk me down the isle. Can you believe that just a few days ago I suddenly thought, clear out of the blue, "My BROTHER was there, my Uncle had flown in for my wedding, and I didn't ask either of them to walk me down the isle! I walked by myself. It never entered my mind, and I am almost sure that is probably why my uncle flew in, I just didn't realize it before. I'm sure it hurt his feelings. After all these years..............I feel awful about that. And I'm sure my brother didnt' know why I didn't ask him either.
Just ONE of the obvious things I didn't do!
Just had my 2nd appointment with the Doctor today. In Sweden Doctor's are not allowed to prescribe medications for ADHD anymore (due to them oversubscribing I believe).
The Doctor seemed relatively convinced that I were ADD/ADHD and has referred me to a specialist, who can give a 2nd opinion and plus has the authority to prescribe medications :) I am so happy that the Doctor didn't fob me off.
Here's hoping the specialist can provide me with some closure (takes about 2-3 months for an appointment though).
kev, here too drs can't prescribe adhd stimulants, you need to see a specialist or a dr who is authorised..
i hope that you find the answers that you need..
Hey,
I came to this site only two weeks ago. I was at the end of my rope, literally. I had already decided I was nuts and had lost my mind. I had stuggled my entire life with this, severely. I couldn't keep a job, relationship, money, or stability. I was depressed and could of thrown myself off a bridge at the drop of a hat. ADHD was literally ruining my life. In two weeks, I have turned my life around. You symptoms are something I deal with on a day to day, minute to minute basis. Get diagnosed, get medicated. It's worth it.
Hello Kevin I too am just about to go to Doc and begin the journey of Diagnosis.
Best of Luck to you, Let us know how you get on
The Specialist it seems forgot to call me back for another appointment! I got a bit depressed and went to the Doctors and mentioned how I hadn't heard from the Specialist yet. And well a couple of days later he calls and apologises for his mistake... d'ohAnyways he has given me Sensaval - which is the Swedish bran name for the Tricyclic AntiDepressent (nortriptyline). Hopefully this will work, if not he says he will first increase the dose before trying stimulant medication which he is understandably reticent to give out at the moment.
I'll let you know how I get on.
[QUOTE=KevInSweden] Couldn't think of an adequate title I'm afaid.
Sometimes when someone tells me something I do not process the information as I should. Someone could hint at me about something for a while. Such as they could hint that I have a bit of BO, yet I somehow manage to disregard the information.
This could go on for weeks even and I'd somehow find a way to disregard any criticsm. The only explanation I can think of is some self defence mechanism, perhaps bought on by other factors than ADD/ADHD.
Other things are being at work and failing to do certain tasks, leaving a large pile of information on my desk, that would normally only take 10 minutes to do, yet failing to do it.
I also tend to do a lot of things that with hindsight I could kick myself and think, why didn't I do "the obvious thing". Another thing is I sometimes don't think through things properly, I'll do things a bit too impusively without taking the time to think through the best possible strategy.
I'm not stupid, I'm not slow - just for some reason I am seemingly unable to process certain types of information, or I put them down into the deepest recesses of my mind, only for them to resurface months down the line.
Sorry, this is so tough to describe, as it just seems such a wierd problem.
[/QUOTE] Started Concerta today and feeling great!
Started on Concerta 18mg today, and felt an immediate effect.
Today I have:
Had a shave without cutting myself to pieces (first time in God knows how long) Not only did I do the dishes, I also cleaned all the surfaces and washed all the sinks. Then I got the vacuum cleaner out and did every room - even the nooks and crannies which I usually just ignore (which was strangely a fun experience). During the time I was cleaning I also put the oven on to make the girlfriend something to eat. After that I had something to eat, made some coffee for the girlfriend and went online for 10 minutes. Then I got myself off the computer (which usually doesn't happen for hours) and did some Sudoku puzzles which I finished off in record time. I also found time for some Swedish language work, which I haven't touched for ages because it bores me so much (I'm English but moved here a while back). I've found my thinking is an order of magnitude more clear. One other very positive effect that I noticed was when my girlfriend was talking I felt the urge to interrupt - but I managed to keep quiet and actually listen to her for once instead of interrupting.Also talked to my girlfriends Mother a lot more today. Usually I find it incredibly difficult to actually speak to her for some reason. Today I felt it was effortless.
Went to the shops for her Mother, not a big thing but usually I wouldn't do it if I did just half of what I did today.Made a salad to go along with the evening meal, then again made coffee without having to be nagged into it.
I realise this is the bare minimum starting dose, but seems to be doing wonders - though I realise that I may need to up it next week when I see the specialist again. To be honest I didn't think I'd notice anything, so was suprised to find I got an almost immediate boost.
All positive so far, just hope it can stay like this - I may actually get something done for once!
I'll have what he's having...
How many mg are you taking? I'm wondering how it compares to Adderall. Any similar experiences I've had to yours above included like taking my whole days pills at once.
Stoked for you--godspeed--you deserve it!
I'm on Concerta 18mg at the moment which is the lowest dosage available. I'm hoping that I can stay at that dose, which would be extremely fortunate :) Have to see the specialist next week, so will discuss it with him then.
Hopefully I'll have a similar kind of experience tomorrow - though I'm certain the elation will disappear soon enough, hehe
I had an experience similar, but much much less pronounced when I tested with Caffeine, didn't really have too much as it makes me sickly in too large doses. Worked a treat, albeit for about 15 minutes, then I was back to my normal self.
Kev glad to hear that the med's seem to working well! read your original post and could totally relate. good luck with the meds and keep us informed, it would be really interestin to know for me personally!
rayray812 I used to say "well getting noticed for anything is better than not getting noticed at all"! I think in some narcassistic way I sometimes enjoyed the bad situations (or maybe thats just a coping strategy).Hope you are further along the path now Silent Screamer, sorry I didn't reply sooner but I forgot about this post, lol
Ok, well the Nortriptyline was a big failuire. It smoothened out my depressive moods a little, but did so at the expense of some side effects (also did nothing at all for the ADHD).
Specialist has now given me a prescription for 18mg Concerta, to be taken at 1 per day for a week. Then he will meet with me again, and will up the dose, then we will meet again a week after that.