Feel lost
was recently diagnosed, and found that most people
I feel close enough with to talk about it with them,
probably have ADD as well, whether they know it or
not.
My personal theory is that growing up and going thru
life with ADD/ADHD causes a lot of other
malfunctions of self-image and character, especially
because of how other people probably judged you.
So, yeah, there may be some other problems as
well. Maybe you don't handle things as well as
others. Then again, who knows, maybe you've had
more to deal with than others. Plus, maybe those
people you're thinking handle it better, really don't.
Us ADDers are pretty good at putting on a show.
God is the only one who really knows how hard we
try and how much we love and appreciate others.
That's one big lesson I've learned. For years I
half-believed it when people told me I was lazy,
self-centered etc. (you probably know the list by
heart). But now I see that I may have even been
"trying" harder than they were.
Just do the best you can, and when you think you've
failed, give yourself a break. Take a quick look at your
strengths because of this too. I know one thing for
me is that I have become extremely non-judgmental
because I KNOW everyone has their reasons.
Peace!
Hi Donny.
Most of my life I have always thought I was doing great at my job or any other activity and was always totally surprised when I found out I was in trouble (I have usually managed to resign before getting fired). After many years of that sort of thing, I am now paranoid and walk around on eggshells. I think I am in trouble even when I am not. It has made me very defensive and difficult to be around. Whenever someone questions me I interpret it as an attack that must be defended. I really need to work on that now that I understand what it is.
I do not think non-ADDers can really understand what it is like and how hard we sometimes work to achieve the same results as others. I need to learn to try to see things from their perspective.
All we can do is keep trying to manage things as best we can.
Hang in there buddy!
Hi folks,
I can't beleive how much I feel like I'm reading my own biography when I scroll through this message board. I have the feeling the uphill battle known as ADHD. Only that I have a different experience with other people. I have confided in a few people that I have ADHD and the usual response is "I have it too". That makes me feel like I just don't handle this thing as well as others.
Anyways, I just got this great new job and I feel like I'm always one day away from getting fired even though my superiors tell me I'm doing a good job. I walk through life always feeling nervous and anticipating the next disaster.
I think that I want to try new medication. I have been on Paxil which worked well at first, but it seems to not work anymore.
I need to find my way out of this vicious cycle and learn how to be happy.
I don't really have any specific questions right now I just wanted to get this off my chest.
Have you tried Zolft? It has helped me much with relaxing and not being so defensive and anxious...(as well as so figity). I have a horrible habbit of bitting the skin around my fingers...nervousness...the medication has hellped that quite a bit but I've been doing it for so long now that it has become such a habit that I still do it (but not as much). I'll need to work on that! There are sexual side affects but I am taking welbutrinXL to combat that.I too struggle with old habits that took me decades to form. Now that I'm taking Adderall, I find that these "habits" still plague me. Biting my nails; being defensive; "thin ice" walking; the whole deal. I was to the point where I simply "quit" on life. Now that I am thinking more clearly; and am not so stressed all the time; I'm hoping to find new inspiration to start moving forward again. I wish they made an inspiration pill.
Lynn, I bite the skin around my fingers too. I used to bite my nails but when I got to be around 12 I wanted long finger nails so I stopped biting my nails and started biting my fingers around the nails and the insides of my lips. It gets so bad they bleed. The funny thing is I've found I can't stand to have long finger nails or toe nails. I keep them very short. When they get to long they feel like weights on my fingers and toes. I am in the process of being diagnosed with ADD but I also have Sensory Integration Disfunction which I atribute to the long nail thing. The nail biting though is a symptom of ADD/ADHD. I found that out when doing research on my 8 year old ADHD son who bites his nails. In fact it was one of the questions on one of the questionaires I filled out when he got diagnosed.
I am hoping when I get an official diagnosis that I will get something to help me. It seems to take so much longer to diagnose an adult. My son got meds even before the testing started becuase the doctor felt that with what he had observed and what I and his teacher had reported was enough. My son is currently on Adderall XR 10 mg, Strattera 40 mg and Lexapro 10 mg. It seems like alot of meds for one skinny (47 lbs.) little 8 year old boy. I have been doing much reading on vitamin/mineral supplements to help with ADD/ADHD. I just received an order of "eye q" which I ordered from England after reading about an ongoing study that Oxford University is conducting in a county in England. Here is the web site if anyone wants to take a look http://www.durhamtrial.org/. I just started both my son and daughter (ODD, Sensory Integration Dysfunction) on it this morning. If it makes a difference for them I am going to start taking it too. It's kind of expensive so I just started with them. I am also considering adding Zinc, Magnesiam and Calcium to their diets but want to do so one at a time so I can determine if there is any difference with each one. I'll keep you all posted on any changes that might occur.
I see my Psychologist this afternoon. Wish me luck.
Donny,
I'm going through the EXACT same thing. I got a new job and I always fear that I am one day away from getting fired!! I feel as though someone has a gun pointed at my head and if I make a mistake it will go off...and I'll be back to the ol'cheekydeeky.
I really hate that!
-Cheekydeeky
Hi! Gettingagrip,
That Durham Trial looks interesting. Hey Donnie , I know that knawing un spoken fear. I used to bite my nails and pick skin upto 10 yrs ago. I don't know what happened to stop me. Then it was o my god those nails are so long, Please cut them? My S.O. well now i seem to do the job as part of the Hygiene routine.
Gettingagrip, hope the trip to the Psychologist was okey for ye.
Qr8art,
The one thing that has got me through the last 3months and taught more about me has been sharing and reading on this Board. Keep rapping and reading
donny,
You are so not alone! I have gone through life constantly thinking I was on my way to failing. I would live in fear of getting fired and then when I quit, they would ask me to stay or ask me back. If I told someone I had ADD they thought they had it too. Yeah, sure. They don't realize the vast difference between being distracted sometimes and rarely not being "out of it" mentally. To them its an excuse, like being blonde! 
You're in a good place here. We're all family and have the same characteristics, so you fit in well! Welcome! 
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