Think Husband has ADD | ADHD Information

Hi everyone, I’m new to the boards as I have a grandson who has ADHD and I saw this board.  I started reading a book about 9 years ago and said hey that’s me, I've know for years something was wrong you know sq peg in a round hole type of feeling.  Finally about 2 years ago I went and was tested, I have it mixed with some depression.  I'm a messy wife, and I hate to shop as I go to the store for one thing and leave with a dozen and forget the thing I came there for.  I will start talking on a topic and rabbit trail off quicker than you can blink.  How our minds work is like this, as I read once.  A lady asked her husband to clean out the garage while she was gone for the day, and doing so he noticed a crack in the driveway.  When she got back he had laid a new driveway and never cleaned the garage, it’s like a shiny copper penny.  My husband now just looks and goes shiny copper penny to get me back on track.  I’m 48 and I’m not on any meds as I don’t want to be.  I’m aware of it and make all the adjustments I can

Writing down dates, but it did drive me out of working with computers as I can’t multitask.  I know it’s hard for spouses, my husband is hurt sometimes by it, he will tell me I don’t listen to him.  And I hate to say my mind is somewhere else.  I do love him.  It’s hard to look at yourself and know something is wrong but the real liberation comes when you find out the truth and don’t use the problem as an excuse.

 

Sincerely, 

Melanie… ADD

Mother of an ADHD Son

Daughter of an ADD mother

Grandmother of an ADHD/ODD Grandson

Aunt of an ADHD/ODD Nephew

 

I believe my husband has ADD. Our 6 yr old
daughter has ADHD, and is on Concerta. I am trying
to talk my husband to get tested, but it's like talking to
brick wall. He has all the signs of ADD, completely
absent minded, extremely impulsive (so much so,
he will just up and leave a job) and many other
things. I need help on how to deal with him... dealing
with our child is alot, and his behavior lately seems
to be getting worst. At wits end with him. Any input
would be so appreciated.

 My suggestion is to lay off of him a bit. Pressuring him to do so will probably backfire on you.

 Maybe you could let him know how his behaviors are affecting you. Becareful how you phrase things too. Blaming him will not be productive.

For example:

Don't say:

You are such a slob you need to clean up!

Do say:

I feel like I have to do too much cleaning because your things do not get put away.

 

 

 

Hi sky and barb....I went to Dr. Amen's website and did the test yourself for adult add/adhd....and I came up with a very high score pretty much told mne to get help and fast   So being the smarty that I am, I had Ray take it and guess what he also has a mild version of adult add.....no wonder he is a messy marvin who procrastinates all the time. 
maybe try taking mark to one of those sites and see if that will work, make it seem like you are going to do it on yourself first and then do him.....just a thought

Hi Barb!

I have had him take Jessie to the doctor, but no such luck in a wake up call.  I have though made a bit of headway with him.  I printed out material from the web for him to read... it took him almost 20 mins. to read it because he was as he claims "constantly distracted" (Yup, and I have a million dollars stashed away in my pocket-don't I wish...lol there were only 2 pages to read) He has admitted he probably does have ADD and has had it all his life, but doesn't think it is a problem... Boy is his wrong!  I have managed to talk him into at least trying the vitamin and mineral thing or that blue green algae stuff this summer with Jessie, so hopefully we'll see good results from that. 

 

 I have read alot of your post on the parent part... you have been very helpful to me... Thank You

I have a husband like that too! I think he knows he has it but doesn't want to admit it because he doesn't see it as very "manly". There is a site I read by an author who has ADHD and it is hilarious! If you think that might help, I can try to find it again. I thought I saved it to favorites but its not there.

Sometimes I can reach my hubby by showing him things that are funny or interesting and let him come to his own conclusions. If yours is anything like mine, you can tell him something  a thousand times but he has to have his own "revelation" for it to sink in, then its like a whole new discovery! He has no idea that I ever mentioned it before. I discovered its easier on both of us to just let it be and act happy over his new discovery.

Also, would he take your daughter to the dr? Maybe that would wake him up a bit to his symptoms or the dr would ask him if it came from his side of the family, etc. It might make him think about it in a more personal sense.

I really empathize with trying to get a husband to read and discuss something. Mine has agreed to look at Driven to Distraction, which explains adhd-i and hence, me, but will not aknowledge his sensory-integration-disorder (another problem that's not just for kids, anymore). This is a man who broke the printer because the noise was disturbing him, who is in pain in a shower, and can't cut his toenails... SI is maybe like ADHD in one's extreme vulnerability to sensations. Anger is a common reaction. Hey... Does anyone know if there Is a connection?!