Ok, my introduction....Oops | ADHD Information
Oh, geez.I didn't mean to create a scene.
It's been a bad week.
The truth is, I've been on some other forums (not
always ADD related) and I tend to either get yelled at
or ignored.
When I was diagnosed, I started reading a lot about
ADD and realized about 10,000 things I was doing
wrong with people, i.e. blurting and interrupting, etc.
I'd never really been aware before of these things
and it made me somewhat paranoid.
It was a great big, "Oh wow, I am really p****ing
people off!"
What a suprise, social phobia.
In books about ADHD I've read, they talk about the
grief process. What is it....denial, bargaining, anger,
depression, acceptance....I forget.
Maybe there should be a panic phase listed in that
process.
My sense of humor is very childish, but humor is me
panicking or raging with a smile.
I'm sorry I overreacted. (That'll be on my tombstone.)
I guess I'm a hypersensitive, tender little thing. Whoops, I am backwards.
I wrote my story in the "Tell your ADHD story" section,
thought for some reason it was the wrong section,
deleted it, and promptly forgot that I'd plunged in with
posting with no introduction.
So, hello!
I'm 33, married to a goofy man, no kids, and my
favorite color is not blue. I was diagnosed with ADHD
in April after I realized that a lifetime of disasters had
a name and it was time to get evaluated.
I take Methlyn ER, 10 mgs twice a day, and it's all
right.
I picked my name because my husband calls the
ADHD "the crawl", for it takes me about 9 years to
finally leave the house. It's not really a crawl, more of
a bounce around the room changing clothes for the
15th time, losing things, finding them and losing
something else, freaking out, turning on the tv,
playing with the cats, then what? Oh yeah, we were
going somewhere. I don't want to go.
Eventually, we leave, usually late, due to "the crawl".
My biggest issues are in the realms of the social and
financial.
I can deal with being disorganized. That's getting
somewhat better, I think.
But I couldn't manage money at gunpoint. It's very
sad.
Socially, well, on my planet I'm funny and articulate.
On Earth, forget it. I seem to have misplaced my
spaceship.
So yeah, there's the short version. Sorry about the
backa**wardness.Hmm, the crawl you say? maybe more like a pinball dancing around accepting every velocity other than the one that bumps it toward the flippers? And then maybe it never makes it and instead f**ks up and heads down that gutter thing (what do you call it?) Or gets stuck in a loop, scoring very few points in its sweet little circle when it should be on a mission, unless the machine gets tilted? A crawl is way too focused: the tortoise, slow but sure to the finish line. What kind of crawler?!
Welcome, I also am new, I do not have ADHD but my daughter does and it has been a real rollercoaster ride with her. She is 21. But I have found this message board to be very helpful and supportive and hope you will too. Oh and by the way welcome. May your planet be fun.
Welcome to the forum...Please don't go ...I enjoyed your sense of humor in your post.
I often misunderstand, 
I'm often misunderstood 
.....but I can relate to people here....or at least I think I can
Yes, stay! I enjoyed your intro and definitely related to it. I see myself as a yo-yo which is out of control actually, at least when it comes to being organized. I do think others see it as a "crawl" because I take so long. Read the "you know you have ADHD when" post and you will find many people to identify with, I promise.
We are here to stay! The world may not like it but they couldn't get along without us! We may seem alien to them but we are normal to us!
Or tried to.
Forget it.
I tried. Screwed up once again.
I'm sick of beating my head against a wall trying to
talk to people on the internet. It's obvious it's not
going to work.
I do have ADHD. I don't explain myself well. Since I
don't, there's no purpose in my being here. I'll just
embarass myself and tick people off.
What's the point? I give up.
[/QUOTE]
No no! My sorry not yours! You explained yourself very well, I can just get annoying and anal. Forgive me! I have the same trouble getting ready to go places.
You have not embarrassed anyone or ticked anyone off! Welcome WELCOME WEEELLLCCCOOOMMME!!! You know maybe it is a crawl more than anything! A crawl an insect makes from a person's perspective, where the person doesn't see why the bug is going where it goes- just circling around aimlessly...know what I mean? Ever watch bugs just going in all sorts of directions only to get to where it began in the first place and you're like- what the hell is that thing doing! Well that sort of crawl.
Only maybe the bug has more reason to its wandering than an ADHD person, because the ADHD person ijs just in a fog or caught up in daydreams, but the ant is smelling something or sending signals or whatever ants do....
SORRY FOR MAKING YOU FEEL BAD!!! STICK AROUND!!!
PS SO WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE COLOR?! No, it's not really a crawl, as I did explain.
Or tried to.
Forget it.
I tried. Screwed up once again.
I'm sick of beating my head against a wall trying to
talk to people on the internet. It's obvious it's not
going to work.
I do have ADHD. I don't explain myself well. Since I
don't, there's no purpose in my being here. I'll just
embarass myself and tick people off.
What's the point? I give up.
[QUOTE=thecrawl] But I couldn't manage money at gunpoint. It's very
sad.
Socially, well, on my planet I'm funny and articulate.
On Earth, forget it. I seem to have misplaced my
spaceship.
.[/QUOTE]
Welcome! I wanted you to know my main issue is what you point out first (financial - numbers). Yikes, gives me the heebie geebies using the words! Had my own business for 5 years and actually enjoyed the business - the management (God was merciful that I was able to clothe,feed, and house my children!), was well, mismanaged. Even though I asked the people in the number world to help, e.g., CPA, bookkeeper - they can't do their job unless I do my part (which alas, is where the crux of the situation was!). I avoid my bank statement like there are evil germs emitting from the paper or the computer from whence them came.
Though I can be eloqent, I tend to get myself in trouble whenever I give my opinion. Usually this negative offshoot occurs when I seek a job. HOwever I temper my opinion (or at least I believe I do), I am looked at as though I came from another world, and if non-verbal cues could actually speak, they'd be screaming, "Go back to whereever in the universe you came from, you - you ..."
I'm not sure any of the above means anything to you, other than there is another "out here" who appreciates what you must be going through.
Later -
You are SO right about describing what goes on in your mind. There is no way. The script cannot be translated by you, me or anyone. And more importantly I believe, doesn't have to be either.
When I told my family about my diagnosis in 1997, giving them the literature et al - was helpful, to a point. There was still this "you can overcome this..."; "what you're saying doesn't make any sense...", etc., etc., My degree is in speech communication! My ex would often say to me how bewildered he was that an accredited college could have given me a degree when I so clearly think and talk in mud. (God knows that hurt me at the time, still stings when I think about it.)
Those of us who are add/adhd have a slight edge over those who don't when it comes to relating to our fellow "adders". Many of us, I believe, can appreciate the frustration of trying to translate our script to the non-add/adhd world.
I came to this forum because I knew deep down many of the folks here have likely experienced what I"ve experienced in trying to "explain" myself to others, and those others not "getting it." I can't tell you how often I've actually pinched myself to see if I was awake, alive, conscious, in the moment when it seemed as though I'd crossed into the "Twilight Zone." Everyone else seemed to understand, but not me or vice versa.
The only person in this world who NEEDS to understand you is you. I believe this, cuz everyone is going to have a different take on how they see me, but I'm the only one that matters on how I see me (Note: revelation is still work in progress - by no means have I reached "enlightenment.")
thecrawl, I really liked your introduction of yourself. You voiced much of what I couldn't when I gave my own intro. Consider sticking around - I'm new myself, and am curious what else I'll discover in this world I can identify with so.
Stay safe...