Despair

Lillian,

My story is such a pleasure to share as parents need to know that there is hope and just because a child has a disability does not mean that the future will be bleak. Thans for your comments and thank for being such a positive, informative contributor to this board.

Ty Pennington from the Home show has ADHD.    Look how successful he is!

I absolutely know how you feel.  It's sometimes overwhelming to know that tomorrow is just going to be another struggle, that things never go easy.  I'm on my own as a single mom with frankly, I believe is easier than having a spouse who is unwilling/unable to help.  At least I have no questions about who will be doing the things that need to be done, and I'm not wasting energy on the resentment I used to feel towards the ex.

The way I get through?  Well one thing is a quote from an old US News magazine article on ADHD.  I have it taped to my computer screen at work. It said "For all the life problems and grim statistics surrounding ADD, the diorder has many positive elements.  "I tell patients that if you are going to have anything, this is the disorder to have," says Brian Cohen, a therapist at the Hallowell Center who also has ADD.  "It is like training a dragon on a leash.  It may drag you around for years, bu tonce you get it under control, you own all the magic and energy, and it's yours forever.""

My daughter's ADHD is pretty well controlled these days with her medication.   She has such an unusual way of looking at things "outside the box" is how I describe her.  Her mind definitely works in unusual ways, but that is a BIG strength, I think.  She can figure out puzzles, homework problems, ...has even assembled things like my carpet steam cleaner and set up the new computer!  We still have our issues at the end of the day when the meds wear off, but I really feel we've got the "dragon" mostly under our control!  And it's AWESOME. 

So keep working, get up each morning with a prayer for strength.  The serenity prayer is high on my list.  Keep working to tame the dragon!!

aschu wrote:
Then, I turn on the tv this morning to hear someone on the Today show talking about how ADHD kids have trouble with driving, holding down a job , marriage...it seems so bleak and I am so depressed and getting to feel hopeless...

Its not only people with ADHD that have these problems but television loves to sensationalize and generalize when it comes to ADHD because the topic is controversial and perks up ears thus turning into good ratings. Its no secret that those with ADHD have these types of struggles in life and there are plenty of successful ADHD'ers that will tell you that finding the proper treatment has given them real quality of life. There are posters on this board that are ADHD that are school teachers. Televsion doenst tell you about all the ADHD'ers who have become doctors, lawyers, computer specialists, aviators, photographers, authors, artists, muscians, cooks, actors and so on. The list goes on and on. I have a personal friend that has jsut become a pediatrician and he is doing a residency in a top New York hospital right now. He is ADHD and his life as a child looked very bleak. I know of ADHD'ers who have also spiraled downward also but to make a blanket statement like that on television is wrong and upsets parents very much. But...its all about ratings.

I can truly relate to everything your feeling and going through as Ive been there.  Until I found the right interventions and medication for my son, life in my eyes for my son looked bleak as well. I felt like every day of my life I was getting beat over the head due to the stress and it seemed like an endless struggle. I was told countless times by educators that my son would amount to nothing. Well, today he drives responsibly, he is in college majoring in photography and he holds two jobs. Is life more of a struggle for him? Absolutely. There are high moments and then there are low mometns but the high moments far outweigh the low ones today. Good interventions does not guarantee quality of life for ADHD'ers as there are other issues that come into play depending on the family dynamics but with the right interventions, the odds of success increase drastically. I only speak of my own personal experience with my son and also ADHD'ers I know perosnally or know of that are strictly ADHD. I shared this with you aschu as I want to give you a positive spin on things. We always hear the negatives about ADHD when in fact there are so many positives and many positive outcomes. Please dont despair. The journey can be long and hard but your child is an individual and not everyone has the same outcome whether good or bad. Hang in there and dont GIVE UP!

What kind of symptoms does he have? Has he seen a NeuroPsych? Are you sure he has ADHD if all the ADHD meds have failed? I have another site you can try posting on too. It covers all disorders. Most parents there have been thru the mill.

www.conductdisorders.com

Please don't give up hope. They are doing research and coming closer to ways of physically proving ADHD and other disorders every day.

I'm 48 and when I was in school, a child with ADHD was considered retarded destined for welfare for life, with no hope of doing even a minimum wage job.

We've come a long way baby, and we are breaking ground and making progress every day! Hang in there!

Luvmykids02,

Thank you, thank you, thank you.  All parents on this board need to hear from parents like you who have reared ADHD kids into adulthood, and the kids have done well.  Thanks for sharing your story.