ADHD’rs who r parents | ADHD Information
I'm right there with you. I've only recently figured out at the age of 35 what is wrong with me. I picked up Delivered from Distraction while trying to help my son and it made me cry because it was like it was written about me. I'm every single thing described in that book. Now I have a reason but it still doesn't help me figure out how to deal with both of us at the same time.
My 7 year old son has ADHD. I don't want him to suffer years of underachievement and life dissatisfaction that I've faced daily. I want him to be strong and have good self-esteem but I can't hardly get it together, especially when it comes to school. It's so hard to get the homework done and organize everyone's crazy activities. The cub leader has begun calling and reminding me of meetings about 1/2 hour before they start. Even then I've forgotten and my son has to remind me.
I'm now taking ritalin so I can function in my job and it has done amazing things for me. However, I'm scared to start my son because I don't know how we'd ever get him off it.
I wish I had suggestions... all I've done is whine my own story. Hang in there, you're not alone!
does anyone else have the pleasure of parenting an adhd child while trying to organize their own life? If I can't get my act together, how can I teach my child to? Plus, what about efo's and over-reacting to your child? This is a HUGE problem for me. What do you do?
I too am an ADHDer with an ADHD child. While it makes it difficult to be organized, I have the ability to understand exactly what my child experiences.
This makes me a better advocate for him in the long run. I don't have to believe all the crap the school says about just making him focus and his choosing not to complete a project in class when none of the others had problems doing it.
I personally have experienced ADHD and know what he can and can't do. I also have a better idea of his needs and what will and won't work.
They don't like me much at the school because I can pull my trump card and tell them they are wrong! wrong! wrong! and that they had better start complying with the law to give him a FAPE. I know he isn't getting helped, when a non ADHD parent has to judge whether the school people know what they are talking about or whether their child is not getting what he really needs.
Its a mixed bag of blessings but I thank God I have it. I believe it makes me better able to parent him.
Absolutely! I couldn't agree more.It's a mixed blessing, as you all mentioned above. It is very hard for me. Sometimes I feel like a hypocrite telling my girls to try and keep their room clean when mine gets so messy so fast! I have the worst time keeping things from getting piled up,,uuuuggggggg! But at the same time, like Barb said, I can totally relate to my ADD daughter more than anyone else, so I'm happy about that
I have a 3 year old son and it can be hard for me not to get frustrated and speak sharply to him. I feel so awful when he looks up at me with the bottom lip sticking out and the tears well up in his eyes because I hurt his feelings. He's a great kid and I love him more than anything. I'm definitely getting better, though.I was diagnosed "hyperkinetic" in 1972 at the age of six. Go ahead........I will wait while you guys calculate that I'm 39 years old. In the early 70's, that's what ADHD was called. Parenting an ADHD child has been absolutely the most frustrating thing in the world for me. Everything that irritated me about myself as a kid really gets to me, for some reason, when I see it in my son. It is sometimes like reliving bad childhood memories. At the same time, though, I really feel for my child and will become fiercely defensive as his mom if someone gives him a hard time. I will bend over backwards to see that his school does what is supposed to be done in order to help him though (something my mom didn't or couldn't do when I was growing up). For postives, though, I think it's his ADHD that makes him the silly, tender-hearted, laughing child he often is.Hi Hei,Hey, I got to get this out of the way, but, your name is fantastic! I wish I would have thought of it.
Heidi Marie.
Are you southern? My daughter's name is Victoria-Marie. She's a southern belle, from the West. My first girlfreind was Heidi (but she never knew it).
Hay, try this on for size:
ADHD Father, ADD Mother, Look what happened to ME: AADDHDD.
And guess what? I married an ADD. Look what happened to our kids:
Male 23, ADHD, married a nOrmal (thank God!)
Male 18, ADHD, severe
Female 15, nOrmal, thank God!
Female, 9, ADHD, a cute
How do we raise them? Our way. Quite AD around here. Different schedules, techniques, room door closures (rooms are always left blooming), b/c it's not a battle we choose to fight. Organization more important in the social skills, such as school. Mind expansion more important, we're teaching coping mechanisms, we're living the AD lifestyle as if IT were nOrmal. Which it is for the AD, and around here. We freak when we go to other's, b/c it's soooo different.
For example: dishes. We deal with the dish challenge by buying a lot of multiples. We must have 40 forks, 40 spoons, 30 knives, etc., b/c we keep loosing them, or they get stuck in the cycle:
Fill the sink until it's overflowing with hardware; or stinking with software...
Empty the dishwasher, b/c it's our Army's Reserve for clean dishes...
Store the stuff at the time of dishwasher renewal...
Use the dishes/utencycles until the drawers are empty, or the cubbard (cute, eh? cupboard) is bare...
And you have to start dipping into the dishwasher...
Or the stink is overflowing...
The human element of this cycle is emptying the dishwasher and refilling it...
It's like toilet paper around here: whoever is the last to use the roll, leaves it empty, so you hear a lot of yelling, or see a lot of bare ess waddling from bethroom to bethroom... but that waddler is the one who replaces the roll, as it is with the sinky stink. So, there are 4 of 5 that do sink work. The 9 year old does so only under duress...
KirkT, I'm with you. I have a 19 month old and pretty much ZERO patience with him, even though it breaks my heart to see those big brown eyes sad when mommy fusses at him :( My kids, who are ADHD, also, are more appropriate than I am. I think it's their innocent spirits, no?
Hey, there's no angel emoticon. Only fallen angels...
Good point--but as far as propriety goes, I'd say it's a toss-up.
My children are twice as brilliant as I was and definitely that much more difficult. I definitely never had the confidence that they do as a young child/ren. I can never see my ADHD until my mom comes to visit & then all the stuff my husband tells me I do becomes quickly evident to me as I shudder & watch my mother. I can't stand when my kids whine for stuff they see on commercials (I wasn't allowed to watch TV/commercials) & I notice they shy away/"hide"/cover their eyes when they see certain (non-offensive) things on television--I used to do that when I would feel embarassed for someone or something I suppose--it would just be "too much/too sensitive/too something" to look. I just never thought anyone else/'s kids did that--Anyone ?