Cutting Her Hair! | ADHD Information

I think your niece wants some control over her looks. I hated having knots brushed out of my hair! I have ADD, and I cut my hair when I was 10 because my older sister and best friend had shorter, more stylish hairstyles. My mother had told me that my "fine" hair would not look good or work in those hairstyles. I didn't know it, but social issues due to my ADD as well as a great deal of neglect and emotional abuse were already causing some depression for me.

Right before school started, I cut the front on both sides and tucked it behind my ears whenever I was home. Do you know my parents never even noticed until a few weeks later when my oldest sister saw a short strand hanging down? My mother took me to get my haircut, because I had done such an amateur job. It looked great! I received many complements for the first time in my life.

I cut it to have some control over my looks and my life!

Bravo to you for helping her at this difficult age! You sound like you are being a very supportive aunt.

Cutting hair is a girl thing. My daughter who does not have ADHD cut off another little girls ponytail. She was 4 at the time and the little girl was 3. She also cut of her own bangs at the scalp because she did not want to have bangs like mommy. I cut my own hair numerous times when I was a child I have great pics. I dont think the kids fully understand until they are older. My daughter is now 11 and reading this as I type and laughing. She agrees its normal. She did not even think about it.

Getting your neices haircut is more for you adults. The kids barely notice. She might do it again. If it makes your cousin feel better then take her to your hairdresser.

Dont sweat the small stuff.

I really think cutting hair at 3 or 4 is just a curiosity thing, and cutting hair at 9 may be a self-esteem thing. JMHO

I have a friend whose 4 year old cut another 4 year old's hair a bit at her house. The girl's mother (of the one whose hair was cut) would often enter her daughter in pageants, etc. The mother was so upset, she screamed at everyone and ceased the friendships over it.

That should have been small stuff!
Ooooooh, her best friend got a bob?  Well, that pretty much explains it, to me.  I wouldn't worry about it.  I wouldn't worry about the eyelashes, either, unless a kid is pulling them out or cuts them repeatedly.  I like the idea of giving her the choice to decide on the style of her hair cut @ the salon by giving her a book of hair cuts to find one she likes. Great idea. I also find the "supervised" scissor use establishes guidelines and limits priviledges.  If she was not clear before cutting her own hair is not appropriate behavior, she will understand it by supervised use. She has "cut" her hair several times before. Thank you!!!I highly recommend that if the child had cut her hair several times, been talked to about the fact that it is NOT appropriate behavior, and is still doing this randomly - the scissors in the house should be put away and used only under supervised situations.  when she asks why - tell her.  You can not have unsupervised scissors because you keep cutting your hair when you know you're not supposed to.

sooner or later she will want to do stuff with the scissors and be frustrated with the fact that you have to stand there and watch her with them and then take them away.
she'll get the hint that it's not appropriate.  and if not, then there's probably an underlying issue there...otherwise, it IS normal childhood behavior to want to cut your hair.

Other people cut their hair, the stylist cuts our hair, why cant i cut my own....

my son only cut his once during preschool...and we took away the scissors.
he's never done it again.

When my ds was 4, he started to cut his hair in daycare.  He cropped off one side of his bangs before the teacher stopped him.  When she asked him why he did it, he said "because it was old hair!"

If it were me, I'd take the girl to the salon and have her look through all the books of kids haircuts and pick one.  I bet she's just tired of having long hair.

Her Mom asked her WHY she cut her hair, she claimed she wanted it short like her hair, whose hair isn't short, but since she is a MOm on the go, she wears it up most of the time.  Is she depressed? I do not know, but I will ask my cousin.  In the late afternoon she usually has a meltdown, according to my cousin, daily (her Mom). Back to her hair, she has a hightened sensitivity to brushing, that it hurts her scalp.  Her father "reminds" her it is important for her to brush her "long hair". According to her Mom.

She has "cut " her hair several times before. I've read articles in the past describing this type of behavior as representing low self-esteem and be3ing a form of self-mutilation. Anyone else experience self-mutilation?

As her Aunt, I love to take her to the salon, which I've done several times before and will do so again on Thursda. A girls day out! She loves it! This is the positive part of the story!!

 

we have the opposite problem mine hates her hair messed with.  My daughter has golden curls and they tangle up all the time and she is the drama queen and is overly sensitive when doing her hair.  Mind you it is almost to the middle of her back and she wants it long.  Haircuts are done by bribe or trims.  I have tried to use her photo as  my avitar but it would  not accept it so all can see her.  Strangers always try to touch  her hair all the time.

Hi I am new here and posted a new topic about my situation. I saw this and wanted to see if anyone thought this was normal. Two days ago we noticed that my son who is 9 and has ADHD cut is eyelashes with a pair of scissors, asked him why and he said his eyes hurt. BS but that is what he said.

I guess I want to know if this is normal kid stuff like hair cutting or could there be deeper issues?

 

Hi aimnjame1, welcome!  I personally don't think cutting eyelashes is normal and would recommend that your son undergo an evaluation by a board-certified child psychiatrist.

 

Thank you SmallMom... he was seeing one and she moved so now he has an appt to see another one later this month.

Another post under topic just shared their experience, their son did the same! Cut his eyelashes! You are NOT alone!

Hmm, not sure about the eyelashes -- but I know kids who shaved off their eyebrows in school . . .  I think some of them did just for the attention because they knew they'd look really different than everyone else.

Your son may also have some type of sensitivity issues with his eyes ?  I know I get frustrated sometimes when mine stick together (without even mascara on them) - so it might be that, too.

I wouldn't look at it as self-mutilation, unless she's doing it, then talking about how ugly she is or that she cut it because she's ugly or worthless or something.  Honestly, it sounds to me like this girl doesn't like having long hair.  She doesn't like to take care of it and brush it.  Is her family against her having short hair?  lillian38818.4036921296She wanted long hair at some point because she was a gymnist and most of the girls had long hair and pulled it back.  Her father may be the one who wants her to have long hair.  Good question. I'll speak with her Mom has to whether Dad PREFERS his daughter to have long hair.  One of her girl friends now has a bob cut.  Her MOm thinks this time that is the reason she cut her hair.My daughter is 6 and has been very picky about her hair for quite a while now. She did cut a peice once and I told her that we had "rules" and that we did not cut our own hair or cut other peoples hair because thats what hairdressers are for. My husband and I (and even our dog) have VERY long hair. My daughter wanted her hair short-to her shoulders (her friends all have shorter hair) , well I let her have it cut a little below the shoulders, I figured it was a good way to let her know and appreciate that she is in control of her body and can make choices . I wanted to build up her self esteem and have learned that I must pick my battles!My daughter cut her hair twice, once when she was 3, and again when she was 4.  The first time, it was just normal kids behavior (with no ulterior motive).  She cut a big chunk out of the back, right at the scalp.  I took her to the hairstylist, and the only thing that could be done to even it out was to cut it really short all over.  Her hair grows so slow, and people thought that she was a little boy for months.  When she was 4, she heard the hairstylist suggest that when her hair grew just a little bit more, she would be able to cut it in a Bob.  She said that it would look really cute.  My daughter decided to speed up the process, and about a week later, cut a big chunk out of her hair again, and announced that it was tim to go get the Bob.  Well, she got it, but it was really short for awhile!  It sounds as if your neice, too, just wanted a trip to the stylist for a haircut, and decided that this would be the quickest way to get it!My daughter did this at the age of 4 just in time for pre k school pictures.  And of course...it was right up front on her bangs for all to see.  We found a cloth headband worked wonders for making her look normal. Good luck...PS it's been 3 1/2 years and I still hide all of the sharp instruments in my home!She is 9 years old. Her hair was long when she cut it short and in chopped legths. Fortunately she is on spring break from school, otherwise I would be concerned her peers would ridicule her.

Did anyone ask your niece why she cut her hair?

Is she depressed at all?

IMac38945.6212615741

Yes -- any child will do this -- not just ADD -- by non-ADD boy has TWICE done this -- once with my husband's beard trimmer -- just gave himself a "reverse" mohawk down the middle of his head -- and another time used the scissors to trim off a hunk on the top of his head.  At least we were able to shave him down to nothing.  <G>

My sister (ADD) chopped all of her bangs off to just little stubbies when she was 8 or 9 years old -- she hated her bangs and they were bothering her, so she just took care of them herself !

I know lots of other little girls have done this kind of thing -- either playing beauty school, or just sick of their long hair.

:o)

My niece is ADHD and just took the scissors and chopped off her hair! My cousin called me and asked to help, which I am glad to do. I'm taking her to my hair stylist who is wonderful with children. This is not the first time. Has anyone else had similar experiences? IMac38945.6210532407Yes, children do this, whether or not they are ADHD.  How old is she?