Maybe you can draw some conclusions from my experience.
I have two kids, my son is 8, ADHD, some anxiety and gifted. My daughter is 6, mainstream and pretty bright. Both were in private preschools and my daughter is now in a public charter, aggressive curriculum and doing well. My son has been in different schools each year. He was in the public charter for one year - 25 kids to a class and it was a disaster. I still feel guilty for putting him thru that. He hated the work, couldn't focus, was frustrated, and acting out, mildly aggressive, and the school just thought he was a pain. Their efforts at modifying lessons and doing a behavior plan were laughable. He then went to a very small private school with mixed classes and is now in another private school with kids who have LDs and both have helped him a lot. He's always had social issues, problems reading other kids' cues, etc. and they work on all that. Even impulse control and organization. He feels very at home there adn very comfortable. I drive 30 mi each way daily - it is totally worth it.
The key, in my opinion, is the teacher. His last two teachers (in the private schools) have been fabulous. They really understand him, and they are sensitive and flexible with his needs. Inhis current class, the teacher customizes the work for all 11 kids, so he's not nearly as bored and actually likes writing. She does not even correct spelling and capitalization, or neatness, she just wants him to enjoy putting thoughts on paper, and he really does at this point.
I seriously doubt I will ever put my son in a public classroom with 20+ kids for one teacher to manage. It's not that they are bad, but they do not have the funds to work with these kids the way they need it, so the teachers, and schools are put in a no-win situation. My son has never minded changing schools, but what I have really noticed is that when he is in a school that doesn't stress him out, his aggressiveness goes away. In fact, at this point it's almost gone. I really like the individual attention he gets at the private school. I actually chat with the teacher daily about his mood, his work, and how his meds are affecting him. He went in one day exhausted since he didn't sleep well after a med change, and she let him go into a room and nap. I'm not saying IEPs and other plans do not help a lot, but if you can find a way to afford a private school that understands his needs, I think it is worth every penny.
Good luck and feel free to write directly.
An ADHD kid NEED a VERY structured enviroment to succeed. This has helped my son this year sooo much. Last year (we are in public) was chaotic to say the least. He didn't even want to go to school. This year with a structured but nice teacher he is doing well. If I had the chance to move him, the situation sounds great. I would!
Visit the private school and get a feel for it. Does the small classroom size continue? Have you considered holding him back a year? if you are going to switch it would not affect him as much. Sometimes a better fit really is the answer instead of trying to force a situation.
If you stay at the public school, then you need to put that IEP to good use. Hire an advocate and extract the services that he needs from the school. If he is a year behind academically they should be providing significant services.
My son is 10, has ADHD and also tics. He is in public school with 31 kids in his class. He does receive services and has an IEP. Last year, grade 3 my wife and I were seriously concerned. He wasn't keeping up and homework was a nightmare. We had considered a private school, but had heard far too many comments from people who had attended private schools only to find out that some teachers were intolerant of kids that fell out of the "easy to teach" category. One year was fine, the next year's teacher didn't want to deal with the problems. The two families we knew both went back to public schools. It seems some teachers are there trying to escape what they consider to be challenged kids.
My son was tired of struggling too. When we spoke to him about options, he desperately wanted to do whatever was needed to stop struggling in school. He was embarrassed at times and the combination of tics and lack of focus really made his life miserable.
What did we do? We dug deep and went into debt. My son completed 244 hours at Sylvan Learning Center during the summer of 07. This will sound like a ringing endorsement, but it is 100% true. He started fourth grade confident and happy. His incredible effort was difficult for him, but he did it in an environment where it was acceptable for him to struggle. He wasn't embarrassed and he received the attention he needed to learn the material...and actually understand it. I learned that if you give a ADHD kid self esteem and confidence, it makes for a much happier kid. Everything is better. Home life is better. His school life is better. He may struggle with something from time to time, but he has the foundation skills now to help him through it. His IEP program wasn't enough to catch him up. He had missed to much in the previous grades and it was starting to really show up. His IEP teacher said he was on track. But he wasn't doing the same work load and he wasn't a self-learner. He is now. His life is better and the rest of the family has benefited from it. Homework can still be slow, but he gets it done and is rewarded for it. Life is better.
I would not move him to a private school now with the belief that the private school would give more than the public. He will still be impulsive and lack focus at times, which will result in nothing more than teacher/student conflict depending on who he has year from year. The public school is more tolerant, although it can struggle to really spend the time needed to make up for ADHD. I do not think private schools are any better, unless their charter is focused on special need kids. I recommend a program like Sylvan or any of the other reputable learning center. My son is very reward driven and the token system used by Sylvan was amazingly effective. I was able to put the amount on a 5 year student loan. Honestly, I will probably send him to Sylvan again next summer, although the major work has been done. If he goes for 60 to 80 hours, I would expect him to be very prepared to enter 5th grade.
Please feel free to email if you want more information about what he went through and how it has changed his school experience. (FYI - i do not work for Sylvan - the benefit for my son has been so profound that all I can do is rave about the program). Something finally made a difference for my son....it is nice to see him succeed rather than fail and it is nice to see there is hope for him to do well.
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My son is 11 years old with ADHD. He was in a private school from kindergarten until 5th grade last year. We moved him in December of last year do to teacher conflicts with the private school. You need to visit the school, talk with the teachers and administrators to see how your son will fit in. My son was not on any medication until spring of last year. We had a lot of problems in the private school, but I can see now that they were really accommodating to my child’s needs. Our private school had 23 students per class. It sounds like the school you are looking at with a small group may be a good thing with him getting the help he needs from teachers. Socially it could be harder with not as many kids willing to except him; it depends on how well he gets along with other children. Mine tends to get picked on because he was so much more immature than his pears. Academically I was always told the private school was so much more advanced. That is the case early on, but by the 5th grade they were all on the same level, with the public school more advanced in math. It certainly cannot hurt to go and check out the environment. Any thing we can do for our kids to make them successful I think is good. Since he was in a private school I had a lot more say in what worked best for him and what they should be doing. Good luck.
I am the mother of a 11 yr old ADHD boy. He is currently in a public middle school (6th grade) He is doing horribly due to the fact that there are 36+ kids int he classes. He also has a very difficult time with organization and transistioning to the other classes/teachers.
He is probably at least a year behind both academically and at least 2 yrs behind emotionally. My husband and I are considering moving him to a private school in our area that has is a 5th/6th grade combo class with 11 kids. He is not a behavior problem except he can be chatty at times.
I want to try the new school but I don't want to move him back and forth. Maybe a ADHD kid in very structured enviroment will be a mistake. The way I see it in the public school he will only fall further behind and its only a mater of time before the gap is so big that it will be near impossible to rebound. Can anyone give me some input and or suggestions on what my alternative may be. Thanks!!
Margaret
we put our boy in a small christian school with 20 kids in the entire grade and had him repeat the 6th grade. it helped with matching his maturity with the others but not with his grades/study habits. it is better than what we had at the giant public middle school where the teachers didn't have the experience or interest in helping him.
Does he receive any services? Does he need them? Why is he behind academically? Is there a co-exisitng LD? I am sure he'd do much better in smaller environment, but you dont have access to the same services in private.
He does have an IEP but it needs revision. I just get the vibe from the teachers that they dont have time for him. I really think that it will be hard for him to reach his potential in this school enviroment. Then it may be worth a shot at the private setting. Just know they do not have as many services and some have higher expectations. Would be worth visiting the school, seeing how the run the classrooms, what kind of help they have for kids who need assistance...etc.I think a change of schools is probably a good idea since 36+ kids in a class seems way too many, and since your son is not doing well in this environment.